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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Feelin' bummed

So last Thursday night I started having contractions at 9pm. They were pretty intense right from the start and coming two minutes apart. By 9:45 I had a pen and paper and was jotting down their frequency to confirm they really were coming every two minutes - sure enough, right on the dot! After 3 full glasses of water, an episode of 'Criminal Minds', and a hot shower, they finally slowed down (right at 11). They continued throughout the night here and there, but by 5am were getting stronger again. At 6:30 when I couldn't lay in bed any longer due to the discomfort, I started to think this might really be it! And so, in a panic, I started cleaning my house, folding laundry, and trying to get as organized as possible. I certainly hadn't planned to spend Halloween in the hospital, but it was looking as though that might be a possibility! By 8:00 I'd accomplished a TON, but then the contractions just stopped almost all together. So weird.

Well, I figured even if all those contractions didn't put me into labor, they at least had to have done SOMETHING! But alas, my doctor's appointment yesterday indicated no progress whatsoever. In fact, Dr. Baer said he could hardly even find my cervix! I was on the verge of tears driving out of his parking lot. If those contractions didn't do anything, what will? I am pretty much convinced this baby will be a November 19th c-section (we changed our "deadline" date from the 21st). I'll keep my fingers crossed, but I'm certainly not getting my hopes up about going into labor on my own. Not now.

I am also a little stressed by this new job. I think all of us (myself, Neil and the doctor) were expecting it to be much more low-key than it's actually turned out to be. It's so frustrating that someone could just walk out on a job, leaving a huge mess behind. I can't imagine lacking such a conscience! Since Friday I have put in 25 hours! Luckily all patients still active in these studies are being seen this week, which means none will be coming back for another 4-6 weeks. While there's still lots I'm trying to learn and clean up, I am hoping to tie up enough loose ends by Friday afternoon so that next week I can just relax at home and enjoy my remaining days of being mother-of-one with Chloe. The poor girl has been thrown around so much this week, and I just feel like the worst mother in the world! I'm so involved though, I just wouldn't feel right backing out on this poor doctor. Neil has been very patient and encouraging, and I honestly think he's the reason I'm still going. I've certainly learned a lot from this experience. Not only do I appreciate my role as a mom and my ability to stay home full-time more than I think I ever have, but my heart just absolutely goes out to all you working moms who don't have the choice! I really don't know how you do it, but I respect you on a whole new level.

Aside from some of the stress and disappointments this last week has brought, I'm feeling okay. My feet and ankles are swollen, my back is hurting (mostly just in the morning), and in general I'm feeling more and more like a waddling machine. Still, I've managed to keep my endurance and have yet to feel as miserable as I did at this stage of my pregnancy with Chloe. We'll see what another week does. :)

14 days or less!
signautre

11 comments:

Jamie Lamb said...

What a disappointment! I know exactly how you feel. You must have a very strong cervix, not wanting to let that baby go! I wish you the best and hope you can find some time to relax. That little one will be here soon enough.

Jodi said...

I know you're very excited to have this baby. I hope he/she comes on his/her own, but most importantly I hope you have a healthy baby and easy (if that's possible!) labor and delivery.

You have a lot on your plate right now but it sounds like you're still doing a great job at being mother and wife. Don't be so hard on yourself. Chloe will appreciate (and I'm sure your husband already does) your conscientiousness and all the hard work that you do.

Carrie said...

You are an amazing woman! I will for sure keep you in my thoughts and prayers that everything goes the way you want it to. Give that sweet girl of yours a squeeze from us...lots of love

Paula said...

I really don't know what to say on how to comfort you (not having experienced any of this), but I am sure it was frustrating. Your in my prayers.

Kelly Stoddart said...

I am sorry to hear this. IT IS SO frustration. When I was pregnant with Kyanna the samething happened, Brett had come home from work and we were getting into the car when they just stopped. And sure enough next dr. appt. NOTHING! But this might help, with Kyanna I never ever had any progress at dr. appt. until one night she just came all of a sudden. So there is hope!!! I am impressed with all that you can do being so pregnant!

Kelly Stoddart said...

I am sorry to hear this. IT IS SO frustration. When I was pregnant with Kyanna the samething happened, Brett had come home from work and we were getting into the car when they just stopped. And sure enough next dr. appt. NOTHING! But this might help, with Kyanna I never ever had any progress at dr. appt. until one night she just came all of a sudden. So there is hope!!! I am impressed with all that you can do being so pregnant!

Coates Family said...

That is a big bummer. But I gotta tell you...good for you for being willing to wait past your due date to go into labor on your own, that's awesome and that's amazing patience. All 4 of my kids have been 21 days early so come the beginning of my 8th month, I want them out. Your baby will be here soon enough, sleep while you can and enjoy being pregnant, (so easy for someone who is not pregnant to say). We're excited to find out the sex of this baby and know his/her name. Good luck, you're doing great!

stephschmidt said...

That is so frustrating! I have been so impressed with how much you've been able to do throughout this pregnancy; right up to the end (which is hopefully soon!). Good luck with everything to come!

The Barton Family said...

Valerie, you are making me so sad!! I feel for you. I wish I was there, we could go to lunch ansd forget all about for am hour! Hang in there, I know you are doing a great job and it will all be over soon.

brittanyc said...

There is nothing worse than NO PROGRESS!!!! I felt depressed for you when I read this post. I guess the only good thing is that you know for sure you won't go longer than two weeks!! Going into labor is so exciting. I will miss that forever.

Cristi said...

BOth mine were late! Hang in there. Love ya!