From our little elves to yours...

Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa... Love, Mom

If you're a mom, this will give you a chuckle. Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes. I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze,but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door, and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,MOM...
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Visit with Santa

Well, she didn't cry this year! In fact, she continuously repeated "Santa come!" and "Santa lap!" throughout the afternoon and evening leading up to their visit. As we stood in line waiting to finally see him, I pointed out as many other kids sitting on his lap as possible, so she'd be that much more comfortable with the idea and less likely to back out at the last minute. When it was finally her turn she couldn't have been more ready! That little girl marched right up to Santa with no fear or hesitation and put her arms up in the air waiting for him to pick her up. Despite her eagerness, however, once she was plopped on his lap, she immediately got in a zone, expressionless, and silent. When Santa asked what she wanted for Christmas, her response was a blank stare. It was so funny considering moments earlier when she was giddy and excited as ever. I suppose the important thing is that she didn't scream bloody murder like last year, or have an explosion in her diaper like she did the previous year (gotta love those newborn blowouts).

Maybe next year Santa will get something in return for a change!

Oh, to be a kid again!

Whether you've been there yourself, or just witnessed your child, I think we can all relate in one way or another!


Looks like Santa could use a haircut... or a bigger head!


Wow! He was even scary back then?


I don't think mom intended to be in this picture.


This guy doesn't even look like Santa! And what is he starring at anyway?


Where did Billy go?


What is this dude's deal? He's probably using the Santa suit as a disguise. That look in his eyes just screams serial killer.


Looks like this Santa had a few too many drinks before his 3:00 shift.


Can we say hypnotized? Creepy.


This one's my favorite. Between the excessive eye make-up and the look of horror on this poor kid's face, it's just priceless!


Holy cow! This one's the scariest by far! He must be Serial killer Santa's accomplice. Or maybe he's just an angry elf dressed in a Santa costume. Kinda has that look about him.


And last but not least - my sweet (and terrified) Chloe! Clearly she wasn't fond of Santa last year, and because her picture blended so well with the rest of these, I couldn't help but throw it in. We'll see how she does Friday when she and Santa meet again!