Funny Chloe and a Happy Easter!

We had a really nice Easter weekend.  I have lots more pictures to share, which, ho hum, I'll get to eventually.  But for now, here's one of the kids that I took in the yard as soon as we got home from church. 

There is also a funny little conversation I'd like to quickly share, which was had only moments prior to this picture.  So, I'm a little bit of a picture-taking junkie.  Common knowledge.  My poor kids see a lot of the camera, and it isn't uncommon for them to roll their eyes or let out a groan as soon as I reach for it.  I keep telling them that they'll thank me someday, but so far they don't seem convinced.  :)  Anyway, in an attempt to prepare them for today's inevitable Easter-picture-in-their-Sunday-best-on-the-front-porch, I said to them as we drove home,

"Okay guys, I know this will be shocking, but I'd like to take a picture of you together when we get home before you change out of your church clothes, okay?"

Chloe, clearly not catching on to my sarcasm, matter of factly replied,

"That's not shocking!"  :)

Then, a little while later, as we rushed to eat lunch, clean up and gather our things so we could head to Pleasanton for Easter dinner and festivities, Chloe said with a groan,

"Sure is busy in this house!  You guys are busy eatin', I'm busy cleanin', and Ryan's busy doing nothin'." 
Man oh man, she is a sassy little spitfire.  Sure do love her. 

I hope you all had a wonderful and entertaining Easter.

My funny children (emphasis on Chloe)

Chloe and Ryan (but mostly Chloe) had me laughing pretty hard this evening.  Neil was working in Sonora until late, so it was just the kids and me.  As soon as I announced dinner was ready, Ryan disappeared.  I didn't notice where he had gone because I was busy getting food on plates.  As I headed to the table and asked Chloe if she'd seen him, she replied,

"He's in timeout."

When I asked why, she shrugged her shoulders and said,

"I don't know.  He heard you say dinner was ready and ran straight to the laundry room." 

I had to laugh, and let me explain why.  Lately, getting Ryan to eat has been gosh darn impossible.  In his own defense, he's had a bad case of the runs for the last five days straight and has been on a liquid diet minus a few bites a day of this or that.  But aside from that, eating issues have been present for months.  Generally when we sit down at the table he's already fussing, "it's too hot!" or "but I'm not hungry."  We coax him, humor him, reverse psychology him, whatever it takes to get him to try a bite and realize that I'm not such a bad cook.  What we've done in the past when he's refused to eat is sent him straight to bed.  Well now when we're sitting down to eat he'll often automatically say, "I want to take a nap instead."  But that's just too easy of an out, and frankly, if it's only 5:30 in the afternoon, that's the last thing I want him doing!  So we've changed our strategy a bit and now send him to timeout for however long it takes before he's willing to eat.

Tonight, Ryan was a step ahead of me.  I'm still laughing at the fact that he put HIMSELF in timeout.  I tried and I tried and I tried to get him to eat, but he would have nothing to do with it.  Even after several attempts, more timeout and a spanking to finish it off, he just wouldn't give in.  He was in bed by 6:25, which is not too early (unlike 5:30).  Thankfully, due to the fact that he doesn't nap anymore (or at least regularly), I can get away with putting him to bed as early as 6:30 and he'll sleep a solid twelve hours, which is perfect since I get up at 7 every day.  Perhaps we'll have better luck with food intake tomorrow. 

So onto Chloe.  Amidst fighting Ryan to eat his potato soup and green salad, Chloe chattered away like always, half the time not even noticing that I was preoccupied with her brother.  One thing she said did catch my attention though, and I just had to share it.

Chloe: "I can't wait to go up to heaven and see Heavenly Father and Jesus."

Me (wondering where on earth this came from): "Why are you excited to see them?"

Chloe: "It's gonna be fun!  They love me so much and I'm just gonna get up there and jump on them and hug them!" 

After a slight pause, she went on: "But  when you die, your body stays on earth, right?  Like a statue?  But the rest of you goes up?!" 

Another slight pause (while contemplating).."So that's called your spirit!  So your spirit goes up to heaven!"

While I found it interesting that Chloe would bring up such a deep and random topic at the dinner table, I was pleased to see that she is beginning to grasp the basics of our mortality and the purpose behind it.  Love the way her smart little mind thinks.

After dinner, Chloe and I were practicing her reading.  Each week she's sent home with a new set of words that all end with the same few letters.  They're called "word families," I believe.  Anyway, this week she's working on the "ot" family.  Well, she whizzed right through the packet of words tonight and I was so impressed, as always.  I swear the kid's smarter than I am.  At one point, in addition to reading the words, she started tacking on an example of how the word could be used.  This is how it went, and again, this is ALL her:

"Lot!  ...like a parking lot!"
"Not! ...like 'I'm not going to paint that!"
"Pot!  ...like 'I'm cookin' something up in a pot!'"

This one's hands down my favorite:

"Rot!  ...like 'rat' in a British accent!'"

The final word in the packet was "Tot," to which she said, while giggling, "I thought that was 'toot' at first!"  Then a few seconds later, "How do you spell 'toot' anyway?"

Let me give you just a bit of background before I share the final conversation of the night (which, I should warn you contains a private body part name).  A few weeks ago, Chloe asked Neil what he does for work. He explained that he watches a lot of surgeries and helps the doctors to know how to use the various instruments that he provides for the surgeries.  In explaining what a surgery is, Neil referenced my c-section and showed Chloe my scar.  When we told her that that's where she and Ryan came out of my body, she naturally then wondered if all babies were born that way.  We answered honestly and told her that while many babies come out that way, most babies come out of their mommy's vagina.  Hey, we are all about using anatomically correct terminology.  Anyway, here's what Chloe said to me as I was tucking her into bed:    

Chloe: "I wish I had a baby sister.  And a daughter."

Me: "Well, you've got quite a while to go before you have a daughter!"

Chloe: "I know.  But I don't want to have them cut my stomach open to get her out.  I want her to come out of my vagina."

I chuckled and kissed her goodnight.  Love her honest, blunt innocence.  May it continue to blossom!

It is currently 12:54am.  Guess who just wandered downstairs?  A certain grumpy boy who refused to eat his dinner.  And what's the first thing he said?

"I'm hungry!"

The second thing? "Can I just snuggle with you for a few seconds?" 

Guess I'd better get to it.  Goodnight, everyone.

Late night chat

Tonight as we were heading up to bed, I made my nightly rounds to the kids' rooms; you know, the usual: make sure they're still breathing and kiss them goodnight (yet again).  When I entered Ryan's room I noticed the cupboards attached to his dresser/changing table were wide open.  In fear that he might run into one if he happened to get up in the night, I closed them.  Just then I heard some rustling coming from his direction of the room followed by,

"Hi Mom."

"Hi buddy," I said as I knelt down beside him on the floor (where he sleeps 98% of the time). 

With his eyes still closed, he reached his arms straight out in front of him and said, "Hug", to which I quickly fulfilled his wish.  Then, only a second or two later,  "Kiss".  I again obliged.  His eyes were still closed. 

THEN, about five seconds after that, he said, "I colored on my penis."

"You what?" (I hadn't caught the "colored", only, "my penis".)  When he repeated himself and I caught on to what he was saying I started to chuckle, which made Ryan, whose eyes were still closed, chuckle too. 

"I colored on my penis," he said again, "and my tummy."  He actually did color in these places earlier this evening, hence the red marks all over his lower half (and desire, for whatever reason, to remind me).

"We don't color on our body though, do we?", I said.

"No, only on paper."  More giggles.

What a sweet little boy, and what a preciously silly (and unexpected) 11:43pm conversation he and I had.  I sure do love that kid, troublesome and all.

Why Chloe needs kindergarten in her life...

I wrote this a few months ago and wanted to get it posted before Chloe started kindergarten.  Too late for that seeing that August 10th was five days ago.  I know, what kind of mother am I that I haven't even posted a picture from her first day?!  (Or wished my mother-in-law, who turned fifty-five on the 13th a happy birthday?)  In some ways, however, I think it's appropriate that I'm posting this now because of the added perspective I've gained from these short four days she's been in kindergarten.  This summer and especially the few weeks leading up to that bittersweet first day, I've frequently pondered Chloe's tendencies and habits.  And as I've done so, it has struck me numerous times that she, and children in general, each reach a point in their lives where dad and mom aren't enough anymore, and when school is simply crucial to their growth and well being.  Structure, routine, responsibility, challenges, consequences, independence, teachers and other sources of authority, and friends.  They just need it.  Yes, they still need their parents too.  But without school (whether it be in a public setting or at home), it is difficult for children to grasp some important concepts about surviving in this world.  The following is a {somewhat comical} account of recent challenges I've faced with Chloe.  Reflecting back on the four short days she's been in kindergarten I can honestly say I am already seeing positive changes in her, which reinforces my previous claim that school is crucial. 

These events took place in April, and I wrote this post in May.  It may seem a bit silly and lacking in direction or purpose.  And perhaps I'm just setting myself up for others to judge me as a mom.  But I think it's good to document not just the pleasant but sometimes the unpleasant, particularly when there are lessons to be learned.  And hey, if nothing else, if I'd had the nerve and strong will at age five that my daughter has now, I'd really enjoy reading about it twenty-five years later.

... 

Preschool mornings, which are thankfully of the past, were rarely joyful in our house. Inevitably Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings were the mornings Chloe did not want to get out of bed, and would whimper and whine until we dragged her up.  Then she'd usually whimper and whine some more.  I will have to say she did improve as the end of the school year approached, but generally those mornings meant a grumpy little miss.

One morning in particular (in April), after laying out Chloe's clothes and awakening her, I raced downstairs to make sure Ryan wasn't up to any trouble. Naturally, he had already found it (sigh) in the pantry.  Yep, there he sat, on the floor, enjoying the bag of M&Ms Chloe had earned at preschool the day prior, which he had retrieved from the top shelf of the pantry. If you don’t believe me when I say “top shelf”, take a look at this.  Or this.  It's a good thing Chloe didn't see him, although I don't know that it would have made much difference with the foul mood she was already in (and about to inflict upon us).

First, the shirt I picked out for her was "wrong". It had a three quarter length sleeve and she doesn't like those for whatever reason. Or maybe I should say she didn't like them on this particular day, either because I chose it or because she tends to like things one day and dislike them the next. There's usually no explanation, but she does it a lot. "I don't like broccoli anymore. I used to like it but I don't anymore." Or, "Yes, I'll have butter on my toast. I don't really like butter, except in cookies, but I'll eat it today."

After a minor squabble over the three quarter length sleeved shirt, she reluctantly put it on and came downstairs. This is when I offered her breakfast. Among a handful of options, she chose a granola bar and proceeded to tear off the plastic packaging and bite into it. Now I'm convinced it was broken in two to begin with, but she didn't notice it until she'd taken that first bite. That’s when the world stopped and Chloe proceeded to chuck the imperfect granola bar onto the floor, cross her arms and let out a pitiful groan. I immediately told her to pick it up to which she replied, "No! I'm not going to eat that! It's broken!" We went back and forth for twenty or so seconds before I simply concluded, "If you don't pick up that granola bar and eat it, you don't eat at all!" Chloe didn't believe that I'd actually send her to school hungry, but quickly realized I wasn't messing around.  Either eat it, or be hungry.  Those were her two options.

Not two days later we had a similar incident, again, before preschool and during breakfast time. What joy fills my soul when the first thing I hear upon awakening in the morning is the shrilling scream of my child. I don't often catch Chloe in the act of bullying her brother, but on this particular morning I happened to walk into the kitchen just in time to witness her shoving Ryan. Without a second thought I sent her straight to timeout, reiterating for the 17,857th time that it is never okay to contact someone in such a manner! As she stood there, I took it upon myself to prepare her cereal. We were running low on time and I was trying to make every minute count. So after placing a bowl of Apple Jacks at her place and telling her she could come out, she walked to the table, took one glance at it, and burst into tears.

"I didn't want Apple Jacks! I wanted Cocoa Krispies!"

Really, Chloe? After earning a first class ticket to timeout, you're going to have the nerve, not a second after being released, to throw a fit over the cereal I poured into your bowl? I tried to explain to her that, 1) she asks for Apple Jacks 90% of the time, so why wouldn't I assume she'd go for Apple Jacks on this morning too?, and 2) given the circumstances, does she really think it's acceptable to throw a tantrum right now over something so trivial?

But wait, it gets better. As Chloe was now stomping, screaming, and borderline hyperventilating (no exaggeration - I wish I'd captured it on video), she paused to say, "I'm not your daughter anymore!", to which I matter-of-factly replied, "You're not!? Well, maybe you should find a new mom then!"

Chloe, who by this point was on fire and ready to accept my challenge, then raced to the front door, attempting to escape with no success due to the locked top latch. For the sake of our neighbors, it's probably best that she didn't make it outside.  No one needed to catch a glimpse of our morning glory.

So why in heaven's name would I share these stories? Certainly they don't paint a very good picture of my dramatic five-year-old, or her mother for that matter!  I'd like to think that in years to come when I've [hopefully] found a way to channel Chloe's stubborn and headstrong nature into something healthy and productive, she and I will laugh together at the arguments we once had. But aside from that, I find that these experiences have taught both Chloe and me something. First, let me just say this. Chloe did wear the three quarter length sleeved shirt that day. And, believe it or not, she did end up eating the broken and now-off-the-floor granola bar. And would you believe it if I told you that she even ate the entire bowl of Apple Jacks about which she so strongly disapproved?

Parenting is miserable at times. There's no other way to put it. But in sticking to my guns and not giving into Chloe's pity parties, it would appear that I got through to her. Sure, it would have been much easier to say, "Fine, go choose a shirt!", "Okay then, here's a fresh, new, fully intact granola bar!", and finally, "Oh, you didn't want Apple Jacks? Well, sweetheart, let me just throw that cereal right down the drain since there aren't any starving children in Africa who wouldn't love to eat it for you! And what was it that you wanted instead of Apple Jacks? Cocoa Krispies? Can I sprinkle some sugar on it for you too?!" I did not do any of those things. Now, weeks later, does she still throw tantrums? Yes, she does. But to the same magnitude that she threw these? Generally, no.  Of course she still has her days (don't we all?), but I am seeing huge improvements in her.

She certainly isn't going to grow up overnight, but little by little, we are making progress.

Something every mom should read

I stumbled upon this "letter" on parenting.com's blog this morning and had to share.  Perhaps it's because I appreciate this mom's raw honesty and can relate to her dilemma.  Or maybe it's because I think anyone who reads my blog deserves a good laugh to start off their week!  Either way, enjoy.  (See direct link HERE.)

Dearest Children,

Some questions have arisen recently with regards to chores and I thought I’d address your concerns in writing.

Regarding your question – Why do we have to do chores EVERY DAY? We do chores every day because you trash the house every day. If you stop eating, wearing clothes, playing with toys, using the bathroom and throwing your personal effects on the floor, the chores will cease.

For now, I caution you to carefully choose the time and place to begin a discussion about chores and their fairness. For example, when I am currently scrubbing puddles of dried urine from the floor around your toilet, it’s probably not the best time to yell about how unfair it is that you have to pick up the books you were reading. P.S. My aim is better than yours and that’s probably not fair either.

When I was young, I remember me or one of my siblings tearfully telling my mom, “But Mom, I’m not like you, I don’t LIKE doing chores.” She laughed at that comment. To this day I’m not sure why but I’d like to tell you something similar. I’m not like my mom. I don’t LIKE doing chores. That’s why I had kids, so I’d have someone to do all the work for me. If you’re sick of doing chores, grow up and have your own kids.

Sometimes you ask me to have mercy and let you watch a movie or play outside before you get your chores done. I rarely give in and I’ll tell you why. Every time I give in and let you do something fun before work, you have a total meltdown when the fun is over and it’s time for chores to start. If you could find it in your mental and emotional reserves to not go nuclear when it was chore time, I’d find it in my mental and emotional reserves to be more flexible with the scheduling.

Speaking of scheduling, I will now clue you in to one of the great mysteries of successful time management – If you don’t take forever to do something, it won’t take forever to get it done. It’s a simple principle, really. If you move slower than a dead person, your chores will never be finished. If, by contrast, you move your body, you may find that you have a couple of minutes left at the end of a grueling day of making your own bed to enjoy some leisure time.

I hope this has been helpful and enlightening. Have a marvelous day in the trenches!

Love,
Mom

Happy Monday, everyone!

Sunday dinner conversation

Tonight's dinner conversation was a little more entertaining than usual.  It went a little somethin' like this:

ME, trying to convince Ryan to eat his dinner (as if that's anything new): "Ryan, do you remember the cookies I made last night?  You got to eat one on the way to church for getting dressed?"  (Yes, I bribed my son with a cookie for putting his clothes on this morning.)
RYAN: "Yeah?"
ME: "So what do you need to do in order to get another cookie?"
RYAN: "Be nice."
{CORRECT ANSWER: "Eat your dinner."}

Just then a third party chimes into the conversation.
CHLOE: "You made ALL those cookies by yourself?"
ME: "Yes!"
CHLOE: "After we went to bed last night?"
ME: "Yes!"
CHLOE: "Really?"
ME: "Yes!"
CHLOE: "Holy cow, girl!"

I should have said this earlier but Ryan's response to virtually every question beginning with, "What do you have to do in order to______?" is, "Be nice." "...get a treat?" "...go to JD's house?" "...ride your bike?" "...talk to Grandma" "...not go back to timeout?" Relevant or not, "Be nice" is his answer.

And Chloe calling me, "girl"?  I don't know where she comes up with this stuff!  Sometimes she acts more like a teenager than a five year old.

They make me laugh.

Chloe and Ryan's first argument

As Ryan is becoming more proficient at holding his own, fights between the kids are unfortunately becoming more common.  Normally what sets things off is Chloe telling Ryan that he either has to or can't do something.  Ryan does not take orders graciously from Chloe and will not hesitate to lash out at her if she says the wrong thing.  This then results in one of two things.  Either Chloe lashes back at him and I end up having to pull one of them off of the other -OR- Chloe comes whining to me that Ryan hurt her.  Either way, both of the kids end up in tears and then we go into meltdown mode and suddenly I want to give them both up for adoption.



The other day we experienced something new.  The kids had an argument.  It was not physical in any way, but rather a battle of wills.  Definitely a first for these two who normally go down the "sticks and stones may break my bones" avenue.  I'm not even sure what set it off.  All I know is that the kids went from sitting quietly at the table with their coloring books one minute to standing on their chairs yelling at each other the next.  Neil and I were both standing in the kitchen and witnessed the whole thing.  Here are the basics:

Chloe (in a whiny tone): "Ryan, you're mean!"
Ryan (in an authoritative almost dominating tone): "No n'not!  Yo a too too tain ahd!" (translation: "No, I'm not.  You're a choo choo train head!")
Chloe (getting frustrated but still maintaining a more whiny than angry tone): "Stooooooop!  You're not being nice!"
Ryan (same tone): "No n'not!  Yo a too too tain ahd!"

Chloe's come backs varied over the next minute as they kept at it.  She said things like, "I'm NOT a choo choo train head!" followed by, "Ryan, you're a bad brother!" and something about "That's my marker!  Give it back!".  She was growing more and more flustered, and the fact that Ryan's responses to her remained the same only made it worse.  Can you even imagine sweet Ryan yelling at his sister like a drill sergeant?

While Neil and I normally would have put this to an end right off the bat, we were too entertained this time around to want to.  I finally had to leave the room because I couldn't contain my laughter any longer.  Chloe noticed this and saw that both Neil and I were grinning, which I think gave her a boost of confidence because suddenly she stood up on her chair, tone of voice rising twice as high, and started throwing even more ridiculous come backs at Ryan, like...

"You're a petunia!"

Of course we all know what Ryan's response was.  Maybe you had to be there to truly appreciate the humor.  And maybe those of you who aren't catching onto the humor think that we are abusive parents.  But I just have to say that I felt a little proud watching my two children go at it, each being just as determined as the other to have the final word.  Obviously we don't encourage yelling matches in our household, but I hope that in life, when Chloe and Ryan are faced with confrontations about things that do legitimately matter, they will not be afraid to practice the same level of conviction that they demonstrated at the dining room table during their first argument.

Love this

Forget the money tree!  I'm gettin' me one of these!

Funny Chloe & Neil's latest project

As long as Chloe has been around, the one thing she has known about her father is that he can build pretty much anything.  These recent weeks as we've made plans for the new house, Chloe has overheard a lot of our discussion and has seen Neil start to put our plans to work in the garage.  I suppose that explains the reasoning behind this conversation she initiated over dinner the other night:

"Mommy, did Daddy buy you that wedding ring?"

"Yes...?" (a bit puzzled)

"Because he doesn't know how to build rings?"

Classic.  Neil and I both laughed.  Out loud.  For a good minute and a half straight.  No wonder she'd think something like this up after she's watched her daddy build and fix so many things over the years.  What's really funny though is that Neil did, in fact, "build" us matching titanium rings during his senior year of college, just after we got married (in one of his engineering classes).  So to answer Chloe's question, "Yes, Daddy can build rings!  In this case, he simply chose to buy one for Mommy instead!"  :)

Here's Neil's current project.

{photos courtesy of Pottery Barn Kids}

We have a large blank wall in our loft/play area upstairs begging for book shelves, so Neil is in the process of building some. He examined these in the store and then wrote up his own plan of attack.  He is building two of the tall skinny ones and one of the short wide ones, though the short wide one will be about a foot wider than the one pictured above (to more precisely accommodate the wall space).  He is just about finished, and then we can sand and paint.  I cannot say enough how amazed and impressed I am by Neil's ability to see something and recreate it, just like that.  He really has a gift, and I am grateful for it and for his passion for wood working in general.  I'll post some pictures once the shelves are complete and the loft area is a little more put together.

Chloe's curiousity

This morning, entirely out of the blue, Chloe nonchalantly asked me this:

"Mommy, does Daddy have a peanut?"

I presented my response with as much nonchalance as she'd presented her question, but inside I was CRACKING UP! Where on earth did she come up with this? And what's next? The birds and the bees? Don't think I'm quite ready for that.

Our little chatterbox...

Oh, my sweet Chloebug: the child who's mouth never stops. Up until a couple months ago I was really good about jotting down all the silly things she said. But between a demanding newborn and her endless chatter, it's become impossible for me to keep up!

This morning after bringing me a “teapot” containing “Mommy’s lunch”, Chloe said to me, “You better eat it before it gets still!” (stale)

As I "ate" pretend lettuce, string cheese, a hot dog bun and watermelon out of a pot, I had to smile as Chloe enthusiastically asked over and over again, "Do you like it, Mommy?" Anyone who gets that excited over such a simple thing must be a happy person. Though she has plenty of sassy moments, she also has lots of precious ones. And in an attempt to capture some of those, I decided to interview her. Here you'll see what a typical conversation can be like with Chloe; how she can ramble on and on and on, prolong a simple answer or statement, and change the subject all in a matter of minutes. Keep in mind these questions were just thought up as we went along.

V: "What’s your name?"
C: "Chloe, and my name’s Chloe!"
V: "How old are you?"
C: "Tha-reeeeeeee!"
V: "What’s your favorite color?"
C: "White. White’s my favorite color. And blue is my favorite color. Blue and white!"
V: "What’s your brother’s name?"
C: "Ryan. His name’s Ryan."
V: "And how old is he?"
C: "Mommy, how old’s Ryan? Mommy, can I cut something in half?"
V: "What’s your favorite movie?"
C: "The Lion King is my favorite movie."
V: "Are you sure? Isn’t Mary Poppins your favorite?"
C: "Um, Mary Poppins is my favorite and Lion King is my favorite. I wanna watch Mary Poppins now!"
V: "What does daddy do?"
C: "He plays Mary Poppins on."
V: "Is he at work?"
C: "Yeah. He goes to work sometimes."
V: "Where does Daddy work?"
C: "He works at Home Depot."
V: While chuckling at Chloe's last answer, "What does Daddy like to do?"
C: "He does not like to do anything."
V: "What’s your favorite thing?"
C: "Mary Poppins."
V: "Who’s your best friend?"
C: "Cindy."
V: "Why is Cindy your best friend?"
C: "'Cause I like her."
V: "Why do you like her?"
C: "Because did I like to see her!"
V: "What’s your favorite food?"
C: "I don’t like food."
V: "Interesting. What’s your favorite snack?"
C: "Uhh, fruit snacks. Mommy, fruit snacks are my favorite!"
V: "What do you like about your brother?"
C: "My brother’s my best friend."
V: "I thought Cindy was your best friend?"
C: "Cindy is my best friend and my brother is my best friend!"
V: "Oh, okay. Well what’s your favorite song?"
C: "Twinkle, twinkle. I’ll sing it to you later, Mom. No, Give oh give said the little stream."
(She then heads to the piano and starts banging on the keys while singing what she knows of the song)
V: "Did you have a good Christmas?"
C: "Yeah, I had a good Christmas. How was your good Christmas, Mom? Did you have a good Christmas too?"
V: " Yes I did, thank you! What did you get for Christmas?"
C: "Shhhh, I’m playing the pliano."
V: "But Chloe, I want to know what you got for Christmas!?"
C: "A ball. Mommy, I want to do my game!"
(She then disappears out of the room only to come back a moment later with her baby's burp cloth. And by the way, I don't recall her getting a ball for Christmas.)
V: "What’s your favorite toy?"
C: "Uhh, stickers are my favorite toys. Mommy, I’ll let you have the burp cloth", she says while wrapping it around my arm.
V: "What are you going to do with Daddy when he gets home?"
C: "I’m gonna start playin’ with him."
V: "What are you gonna play with him?"
C: "Shhh, my baby’s asleep!"
V: "What’s mommy’s name?"
C: "Mommy! Valeri!"
V: "What does mommy do?"
C: "She, um, plays with me, and Cindy plays with me sometimes. Mommy, I put my sock on!"
V: "What’s your favorite thing about Ryan?
C: "He’s my favorite color!"
V: "What’s his color?"
C: "Um, um, um, it’s white. He likes white better. Mom, it’s time to go home. I’m gonna go home now. There's my home!" (pointing to her bedroom down the hall)

If you're not exhausted (or asleep) after reading this, I'm about there!

Fight for kisses

We were watching the Funniest Commercials of 2008 on TBS tonight, and this was by far my favorite. Love it!

Only when Daddy's gone...

8:27pm
Get Chloe comfortably settled in our bed (blankets, pillows, and six different toys surrounding her), turn on a movie, kiss her goodnight, and shut the door behind me, fully expecting she'll be out within a few minutes. No, this not part of our normal nightly routine. Only when Daddy's gone...

10:02pm

Suddenly startled by the creak of our bedroom door, I realize Chloe must still be awake. But how can this be when I haven't heard a peep from that direction of the house since kissing her goodnight an hour and a half ago? Well, whether she's been asleep or not, she's clearly awake now! And here she stands in front of me, bright-eyed, grinning and ready to make an announcement!

"I want a hamburger!"

You want a hamburger?

It's 10:00, kid!

How could you be hungry? And a hamburger of all things?

Why not a cracker or some apple juice - something we actually have!

And what on earth are you doing awake anyway?

Wait a minute.

A hamburger?

Hmmm...

That actually sounds really good.

10:07pm
Off to "Old McDonald's" (in the words of Chloe) we go. Yep, I'm crazy. But I'm also pregnant and pretty much willing to eat at any hour of the day. And really, how often do Chloe and I make such spontaneous late night runs to Mickey D's? Only when Daddy's gone...

10:25pm

It occurs to me that Chloe hasn't said a word since we left the drive thru window. Upon a quick glance to the back seat, I discover the explanation: she's sound asleep.

Here's what Chloe will be eating for breakfast in the morning.

From the mouth of Chloe...

I could fill an entire notepad with the hilarious things my daughter comes up with. Here's the latest:

• "I'm 2 1/2, Daddy's 29, and you're 64!" (talk about robbing the cradle!)
  
  
• While observing my obvious frustration with an uncooperative cd drive, Chloe sweetly asked, "Is it not uploading?"
  
  
• "That's good spicy cheese! But it's REALLY spicy!"



• During my parent's recent visit, Chloe and grandpa were having a conversation. After a comment by grandpa about something inconsequential, Chloe said, "Well I'm sorry, but I just don't know what to say about that."
  
  
• "I'm sick of tired!"
  
  
• Twenty or so minutes after being reprimanded for helping herself to gum without permission:
  Chloe: "I'm sorry!"
  Valeri: "For what?"
  Chloe: "For getting white gum. I was mad at you."
  
  
• "Daddy, I want to ask you a question! This brokeded and you need to fix it!"
  
  
• Absolutely out of the blue while walking through Walmart, "Mommy, are you fat?"
  
  
• Valeri: "Do you want a fork or a spoon?"
  Chloe: "I need a fork, because the spoon isn't workin' very well."



• "Does Mary Poppins have a gorilla?" (meaning "umbrella”)



• Shortly after Neil arrived home from work one day,
  Chloe: "Go change clothes!"
  Neil: "Why?"
  Chloe: "'Cause I don't trust you!"
  
  
• “Daddy, you are NOT my mother! My MOMMY is my mother!”
  
  
• "Look Mommy, I'm dancing my feet!"

We sure do love our Chloebug. Sweetness, sass and all!

Some things money can't buy...

This makes me laugh.

I must give Dayna credit for this, as I found it on her blog. I'm really not the type to be bothered by someone wanting to touch my belly - unless it's a complete stranger who doesn't have the decency to ask permission! I've experienced this first hand, and am still creeped out by it.

And by the way, these amounts do NOT reflect my spending habits. I could only dream of being able to afford a $2,400 maternity wardrobe! And yet, even if I could, I'd still put my money to better use.

Nice...

This morning as I was entering the grocery store, I passed an employee who without hesitation asked, "So how many days do you have left?"

How many days? Are you for real? I mean I know I'm big, but I'm not that big!

When I responded with, "Just under 4 months," the look of surprise, then horror, and then regret for having opened his mouth overwhelmed the poor guy's face. And all he could utter was, "Oh." It was quite funny. I'd be willing to bet that's the last time he asks a pregnant stranger how far along she is.

While I (still) find the incident to be humorous, I wonder if I ought to take the hint and slow down on the baked goods. :)

From the mouth of Chloe...

Chloe always has us chuckling about something she's said. Here's the latest:

• Grandma Jill: "Are you a sweetie pie?"
  Chloe: "No, I'm Chloe Mae Andersen." Then a few seconds later, in a soft voice, "I'm not a pie."
  
  
• Pointing at a zit on my face, "That's a big mole!" An honest two-year-old and pregnancy acne - 2 things you've just gotta love!

• After convincing daddy to lay down next to her on the living room floor, Chloe said in an authoritative tone, "Go to sleep! Close your eyes! Don't open them again!" Then she kissed him on the forehead.

• While banging on the piano, "I'm playing Chapsticks!"

• "He touched the butt!" (A word for word quote from Finding Nemo - "butt" is actually supposed to be "boat"). Apparently Chloe has found the humor in this and repeats it quite frequently.

• In the midst of a slight cough attack I asked Chloe if she wanted some water. She nodded, and a few seconds later said, "Actually, I would like juice! How about juice!?"
  
  
• Many of you are familiar with the 'Clean up' song learned in primary and/or pre-school. In case you aren't, it goes like this: "Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere. Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share." Here's Chloe's version: "Clean up, clean up, everybody else!" Manipulative child!
  
  
• This morning after informing Chloe of our agenda for the day, she repeated back to me her own interpretation, which was: "Let's go to Dr. Baer's and get a sucker and THEN go to the store and get a cookie!" Funny how I never mentioned anything about treats!

You just can't help but smile when this little girl opens her mouth, even when it's something sassy.

Father Daughter Fun

Here is Neil and Chloe's afternoon ritual. I generally stay in the other room during their "throw me at the pillows" game, in fear I'll otherwise witness Chloe's head going through the wall at any second! Still, it's pretty funny stuff. This girl has no fear.

Very VERY funny!

I couldn't wait until Mother's Day to post this. Absolutely HYSTERICAL!!

{be sure to scroll down and pause my music before hitting "play"}

The JOYS of Motherhood

This post by my friend, Natalie made me laugh out loud. Doesn't it just sum up the kind of days we all sometimes have?