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Friday, October 29, 2010

Just outside the kitchen door...

I have so many pictures I want to share.  Here's one of the kiddos that I took earlier this week.  We have a door with a big window off the side of the kitchen that leads out to the driveway where the kids like to play.  It's a cozy, private little area where they can freely roam and where I can get things done inside but still keep an eye on them. Anyway, here they are just outside the door.  Chloe was "helping" Ryan ride his bike.


I am hoping to get some more pictures posted this weekend. I have tons of these two that are just too sweet not to share. 
signautre

Friday, October 22, 2010

Monday, October 11, 2010

Goodbye, Colorado. Hello, California.

Here's a condensed version of the last several weeks of our lives:

August 31st - took our house off the market and listed it for rent.

September 16th - signed an 18 month lease with our new renters.

September 24th - met my parents in Rawlins, Wyoming (the halfway point between our house and theirs) to hand Chloe off for the week; picked up Neil from the Denver airport on my way home.

September 25th - welcomed our first niece into the world: Katherine "Katie" Croft; packed, cleaned, packed, and cleaned.

September 26th and 27th - more packing; more cleaning.

September 27th - spent the night in our Colorado home for the last time.

September 28th - bid Colorado Springs farewell and headed to Parker to pick up Ryan at the Larsen's, who had lovingly taken him off our hands the day before so that we could be more productive.

September 29th - left Parker to head to Fort Collins, where we met and got to hold little Katie for the first time; drove on to Salt Lake to pick up Chloe and take a rest from the first leg of our drive.  On a seperate note, this date also marked my parents' 44th wedding anniversary!

September 30th - met and held another special little baby: Emma Grace Fleming, my best friend/cousin's little girl, who was born 6 weeks premature on August 31st.  Today, in fact, was her due date, and also happens to be her dad's birthday.  Happy Birthday, Brandon!  With the complications that both mom and baby faced during the pregnancy process, it's a miracle that Emma even survived.  She was in the NICU when we went to see her, but finally got to come home last Thursday!  She's a little sweetheart, and I'm grateful I got to spend a few minutes holding and admiring her. 

October 1st - left Salt Lake at 5:11am MST; arrived in Ripon, California at 4:09pm PST.

October 3rd - made an offer on a house.

October 6th - officially went under contract (a miracle considering the 2 other offers we were competing against).

October 8th - Neil left for Pennsylvania for another week of training (bleh!).

And here's what the coming days will bring:

October 15th - Neil comes home from Pennsylvania.

October 18th - scheduled to close on the house.

Did I mention that in the midst of all of this moving business, both of the kids got sick?  Chloe had the icky sore throat, no voice, cough, fever, refused-to-eat-anything-because-it-hurt-too-much-to-swallow (you get the idea) funk.  No strep, thankfully, but it may as well have been!  Then Ryan caught a version of it a few days later.  Doc diagnosed him with "a bad case of the croup" and put him on 3 days worth of steroids.  Awesome timing, right?  It was miserable, but hey, with the help of my parents and some good friends, we got through it! 

Since Neil took off last week, I've been floating around with the kids between the family where Neil's been renting a room from (in Ripon) and my cousin's house (in Pleasanton).  I am so relieved to finally be living in the same state as my husband, and cannot wait until we're living under the same roof!  These last 3 months of limbo living have given me a whole new appreciation for normalcy.

So that's about it!  I'm officially a California girl, yet again!  I'll post a picture of the house once we have the key in hand.  6 more days...
signautre

Monday, September 20, 2010

I left my heart 82 miles from San Francisco

September 3rd-5th is, to date, probably the best weekend I've ever lived.  It wasn't particularly eventful, but I think that's just what made it so nice.  With all the chaos life has thrown at us these last few months, a weekend away from it all (including our babies) was just the medicine we needed.  As stated in my last post, we got a late start with delayed flights and all that jazz.  It was a wonderful reunion nevertheless.


After grabbing luggage and finding Neil's car in the maze of the Sacramento airport economy lot, we hopped on the road and headed for downtown Sac, arriving at the Sheraton at midnight exactly.  Of course we had both been looking forward to this weekend, but Saturday morning in particular because it was the one morning we didn't have to be up for anything. No appointments.  No kids.  No alarm.  Nothing.  Just sleep and some snugglin'. So you wanna know what happened? We were BOTH wide awake at 6:40am!  Just plain WRONG if you ask me!  But it was what it was. So we got up, showered, and were out of our hotel room by 8:00. 


We took a nice morning walk downtown and stopped at a little mom and pop's deli for breakfast, then headed to the Sacramento LDS temple.  Growing up in Vacaville, I knew Sacramento was bound to have a temple eventually.  Sure enough, it was announced 4 months before I moved away (in 2001).   Even though I haven't lived in Vacaville for nearly a decade or seen this temple in person until now, I've always held a special place in my heart for it.  It was a stunning sight to see. 





After the temple, we drove to Roseville and had sushi at Mikuni's.  Neil had taken two surgeons there recently and spoke highly of their food.  That says a lot coming from Neil who isn't quite the sushi connoisseur his wife is.  Well, he wasn't messin' around!  It was the heavenly, melt in your mouth goodness that I'd hoped for.


After our sushi date, we hopped on highway 99 and headed to Ripon!  This is the town where Neil has resided for just shy of 3 months now. 

Notice the population: 14,575 (soon to be 14,579) - quite a change from Colorado Springs!

I'll be honest.  I wasn't initially fond of the idea of living in Ripon.  I wanted to be closer to the Bay Area or Sacramento.  I've always been a city girl at heart.  Not that I feel it's the ideal atmosphere for my children to grow up in, but I wanted something closer to that than just some rural podunk town in the middle of Northern California.  Well!  As the weeks passed, and Neil told me more and more about the town, I grew quite fond of it.  It's safe and has very little crime.  The schools are better.  The housing is better.  It's right smack between Stockton and Modesto, which makes Neil's commute short.  And it's within about an hour's drive of both San Francisco and Sacramento.  Anyway, by the time this weekend rolled around and I was actually able to SEE Ripon for the first time, I found myself instantly smitten.  Perhaps it was because it's where Neil has called home for the last 3 months.  Perhaps it was because of all the positive talk Neil fed me about the town.  Or, it could have also been, simply, the feeling I had the second we exited the freeway; that feeling that told me, "This is right for us.  This is home."  I think it was a combination of all these things.

We drove around for twenty minutes and then headed over to the house where Neil has been living.  This sweet couple, who has so warmly welcomed Neil into their home, are recent empty nesters.  So living arrangements have actually worked out well for everyone.  Charlie was out of town for the weekend, but I met and talked with Karin for awhile.  Then our realtor, Lorilee picked us up and took us to see some houses.  Even though we didn't fall in love with any of them it was still nice to explore the various neighborhoods and get a feel for what was out there. 

Saturday evening we just goofed around.  First we drove to Modesto in search of flats for my birthday.  Neil was DARLING.  Never has he been as much fun to shop with as he was this evening.  And, I suspect, he'll probably never be that much fun to shop with ever again.  He just had me laughing the entire evening, and over the silliest and stupidest things.  It was really one of those you had to be there and you had to understand us moments, but it truly was one of the most enjoyable dates Neil has ever taken me on.  We got a slushie, walked around the mall, did some people watching, held hands some more, exchanged lots of playful and sarcastic remarks, perused Best Buy and Target, smooched a little, and went to Applebee's.  Neil even reminded me of what a great husband he was, being that it was opening day of college football season and he hadn't asked even once to watch a single game.  He did peek at a few scores while we ate, as there were TVs too easy to spot in the bar, but I didn't mind. I kinda like football myself.  :)  After dinner, we headed back to Charlie and Karin's where we dropped off our things and took a nice long walk to finish the night. 

Sunday morning we got up and went to church.  It's always interesting attending your new ward for the first time.  Even though technically I'm not in this ward yet, Neil has been for the last few months and in a strange way I feel like I have been too.  The second we walked into the chapel the sister missionaries tackled me with hugs.  They, and so many others were happy to see that Neil really did have a wife!  I felt very welcome.  It was Fast and Testimony Meeting, and lots of tender and meaningful testimonies were shared. 

We took off after Sacrament Meeting, stopped at home to change and then hopped back on the road towards the city; one of my favorite cities in fact: San Francisco.  So many tender thoughts flood my memory whenever I think about or go to San Francisco.  Growing up I played hooky from school countless times to go spend a day there with my dad.  We did so many things in that city as it was only a hop, skip and a jump from my hometown. Neil and I have been there together once with his whole family (Christmas Day 2007), but this was the first time just the two of us got to go.  We had planned to bring bikes and ride them across the Golden Gate Bridge, but it just didn't happen.  So instead we parked and walked up the Pier to Boudin, where we enjoyed bread bowls. Then we walked back to our car and that was that!  It was perfect, really.  Simple and sweet with a purpose.  If we'd had more time and energy I'm sure we would explored more inland.  But we were tired and not really in the mood for any touristy stuff.  With how close Ripon is to the city, there are sure to be many more San Francisco trips in the future.





On our way home, we stopped to visit one of Neil's childhood friends, who currently lives in San Ramon with her husband and two kids.  Neil and Natalie go way back to their early childhood days.  Natalie and I have sent each other Christmas cards for years and gotten to know each other through blogging and facebook, but up to this point had never actually met in person.  Since Ripon is less than an hour from San Ramon, Neil has made it over to see Steve and Natalie a handful of times.  It was great to finally meet both of them and their beautiful children.  Neil and Steve, despite the fact that they've only known each other a few months, acted as if they'd been life long friends.  I am grateful the connections were so instant for them.  Neil has mentioned to me several times what a blessing they've been in his life these recent weeks.  I am grateful they have opened up their home to him so many times.

Sorry, Steve - couldn't resist.  How cool is it that your shirt says "Neil" on it?  Did you do that on purpose?  :) 

We got back to Ripon early evening, ate dinner with Karin and then took a walk. At one point, Neil got a text from his co-worker, Toby, who also happens to be in his ward.  When Neil texted back and told him we were just blocks from his house, he invited us over.  Turns out Toby's wife is a photographer and dancer as well.  When I first got in touch with her back in July, I knew we were destined to be friends.  We have too much in common to not be!  Sure enough, we did not run out of things to talk about.  And once the topic of photography came up, it was all over. Before we both knew it it was 10:30pm.  Now here's a not so funny story, which is on a completely different subject.  When I booked my flights for this trip back in August, I accidentally selected the Monday 6am flight out of Sacramento.  Meant to select the 2pm flight, but no - 6am.  ...Which meant that we had to get up at 3:20am and be out the door by 3:45 to provide plenty of time to get to the airport.  So going back to Sunday night. Neil politely interrupted Tami's and my conversation to suggest we get home if we wanted to sleep any before our alarm went off in 5 hours.  Despite our unexpected visit and rather abrupt goodbye, it was wonderful meeting Toby and Tami.  I'm sure we'll get to know each other even better in the coming months, and I look forward to it.

Monday morning was not fun.  Not only was it the end of a perfect weekend, but it was 3:20 in the freaking morning!  I could barely keep my eyes open driving to the airport and walking through security.  I slept some on the plane, but it was a full flight so I had very little room to get comfortable.  As we landed and the flight attendant cheerfully announced, "Welcome to Denver", I cringed.  I just didn't want to be there.  At all.  I know that sounds horrible, especially to my Colorado friends, who know I love them.  Sorry - when you read my blog, you get the honest me.  I detached myself from Colorado a long time ago, and now that I've walked the grounds of our upcoming California adventures I'm that much more anxious to BE THERE!  I will say it was wonderful seeing my kiddos again, and I am so grateful to Jared and Lori, who watched them for us so Neil and I could have this much needed time together.  Lori especially, whose pregnancy marked her 37th week that very weekend, was a good sport about the whole thing.  We all joked that 3 days with my kids would surely put her into labor, but so far nothing.  She's due this coming Wednesday.


A perfect California sunset.  And, minus the flight delays and mix ups, a perfect weekend.
signautre

Friday, September 3, 2010

Waiting...

That's a word I've become uncomfortably familiar with these last several weeks.  Waiting for our house to sell.  Waiting to hear back from the insurance company.  Waiting to see Neil again.  Waiting for our lives to not be in limbo.  Well, now I'm waiting again.  This time, at the Sacramento airport.  About a month ago, Neil and I decided to book me a flight to CA over Labor Day weekend (child free, of course).  The timing seemed perfect since he would be finishing his 3 week training in PA on the 3rd (today) and flying back to CA.  We arranged our flights as close together as possible - me arriving in Sac at 7:30pm, Neil arriving at 9pm.  Well, things ran perfectly smooth for me!  I even arrived at my gate 5 minutes early.  But Neil, not so much luck.  Due to "mechanical issues", his flight was delayed 2 hours.  I have now been sitting in the airport for 3 hours waiting to see him come down that escalator.  I keep seeing couples reunite, which is absolutely WONDERFUL, but it's making me CRAZY because I want my Neil! 

On a side note, it's awesome being in Sacramento.  The last time I was in this airport is the day my brother and I flew out (May of 2002) to help our parents move from Vacaville to Salt Lake, where they now reside.  It's crazy the things I never paid much attention to in this airport but that I am seeing and recognizing now, more than 8 years later.

THIS, for example! 


I totally remember this thing at the baggage claim!  Kind of a creatively strange structure.  Random, I know.  Sorry, I'm bored okay!?!  I am really looking forward to seeing Neil.  He is now expected to arrive at 10:49pm - that's 8 minutes away.  Here's to a short but perfect weekend getaway in sunny California!
signautre

Friday, August 27, 2010

Flashback Friday

It's been a while since I did a Flashback Friday post.  I figured today was an appropriate day for one since tomorrow marks a certain special event.  The picture you see below of my very manly husband and yours truly was taken 8 years ago tonight.  We had been hard at work in my parents' yard preparing for the following day's festivities. Not sure how my wedding dress slip ended up in the picture, but clearly Neil made the best of it.  While horribly blurry, this picture portrays, with perfection, the excitement that was in the air that night.   


Happy Anniversary Eve to my Neil, whom I still love with every ounce of my heart, 8 years later.
signautre

Impromptu C & R shoot

I love summer evenings in Colorado. That said, we try to spend as much of them outside as possible. The other night was like any other. With camera in hand, I let the kids do what they do while I clicked away. Ryan would not hold still to save his life, but I still managed to get some good ones... 


Do not, for a split second, let this innocent face fool you.  This boy is a terror!


Sweet and sassy Chloebug.  What can I say?  She's a doll.


I love my babies.  They make me crazy, but I love them.  How is it that they turn 5 and 2 in November?
 
Really, I'd like to know!
signautre

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I'm so glad when daddy comes home... even if it's only for 36 hours.

Last Monday, Neil learned he could come home for the weekend.  Music to my ears!  Flights were definitely not in his favor, and the best he could do was a late night arrival on Friday, and an early afternoon departure on Sunday.  To make matters worse, his flight from Chicago into the Springs was delayed 2 hours, so he didn't even get in until after midnight.  Luckily our friend, Dan came and stayed at the house so I could sneak out and get Neil without having to wake the kids.  It was so exciting getting to actually see him.  6 weeks really isn't that long, I realize, but it was long enough for me! 

Right off the bat we wanted to surprise Chloe.  As tempting as it was all week to spill the beans, I managed to keep it a secret.  Saturday morning we woke up to Chloe laying at the foot of our bed.  She was dead asleep, so we got up and headed out to the rest of the house.  Neil went in to surprise Ryan, who was happily playing in his crib.  At first he just stood there looking at Neil, as if to say, "Well, you look familiar, but I'm not quite ready to jump into your arms yet."  Then a few seconds later, he started to say, "Dada!  Dada!  Dada!" in his grunting/zombie voice while stomping up and down, and before we knew it, he and Neil were doing their tricks and wrestling around just like old times.

I kept peeking in on Chloe and eventually found her waking up.  After motioning to Neil that it was time, I went in and sat Chloe on our bed and told her there was a surprise waiting outside the door.  Then Neil walked in the room.  Chloe just starred at him for a few seconds with a shy, sorta half smile expression.  Then, all at once, she jumped off the bed and raced into Neil's arms.  She couldn't get to him soon enough.  It was a pretty sweet moment. 

Don't mind the mis-matched outfit.  Chloe has been living in this skirt day and night.  She'll put her jammies on at bedtime, but before she goes to sleep she'll change back into this skirt.  Drives me nuts, but I guess that's part of being an independent, opinionated 4 1/2 year old.

Chloe could hardly believe it was really Neil!  It was funny observing her cycle of hugging him then pulling back to look at him. I think it actually took a few hugs and glances before it sunk in entirely that he was really there.


When Neil asked Chloe if she was happy to see him, she nodded. When he asked her what she wanted to do, she replied, "Play with you!" It's really amazing how simple a child's needs and desires can be, and how no material object can be of greater value than simple time spent with a loved one.

The first thing Chloe did after greeting/hugging/loving on her daddy was draw this picture.  Chloe is on the far right, Neil is in the middle, and I am on the left.  And, Chloe informed us, Ryan is still in my tummy.




It was a lazy, uneventful Saturday, which is exactly what we'd hoped for.


That evening we went and got Chloe a new bike helmet. Then we took a stroll to the park. Up to this point, Chloe was either too small for this bike (which she got for Christmas), or just too afraid to ride it. Neil worked with her throughout the day and helped calm her nerves. From the looks of these pictures, she loved every minute of being on that bike. That's not entirely the case, but for the most part she was a good sport. And ever since Neil left, she's been begging to go outside and practice, so clearly his efforts paid off.








Neil's visit came to an end as quickly as we knew it would.  We dropped him off at the airport on our way to church Sunday afternoon. Chloe was very sad.  


As much as we all wanted Neil to stay, I'm grateful for the 36 hours we had together. He is working so hard, and I cannot put into words the absolute love and admiration I have for him. He's a week and a half into his PA training, with a week and a half to go. He flies back to CA the night of September 3rd. I am leaving the kids with Lori and Jared that same day to meet him in the Sacramento airport, where we'll head off to celebrate the completion his training and our 8th anniversary (6 days late).
signautre

Saturday, August 14, 2010

A world of enchantment

As much as I love candid shots, I'm not always the best at capturing them.  Often I'm so hung up on the technical aspects of my camera (particularly indoors where the lighting isn't generally ideal) that I sometimes miss the best moments.  I'm trying to be better about that.  Well, yesterday the kids were cracking me up in the living room.  Chloe had been fluttering around the house all afternoon in her princess attire, waving her magic wand and casting spells on her brother, when she suddenly decided it was time to dance!


I was sitting on the couch, and just happened to glance up to see Ryan fully engaged in his sister - a hit or miss occurrence these days.  My camera was sitting on the coffee table, so I quickly grabbed it and hit the shutter just in time to capture this bow.  I'm not even sure where my focus point or settings were, but all things considered I'd say I got pretty lucky.  Not the best composed shot, but definitely an "in the moment" one. 

Looking at this picture puts me in a whole different world.  A world of enchantment, innocence and glee.  These precious little souls drive me up the wall most days, but oh, how I love them.  I think I could be very happy in their little world.  Maybe I'll ask if I can stay a while.
signautre

Friday, August 13, 2010

Happy Birthday to Mama Susie!

Happy Birthday to my mother-in-law, Susie!

{Proud Grandma with Chloe, Grant & Ryan - July 2010}

Susie has been a good mama to me for nearly 8 years, and a fun grandma to my babies.  I have never met a harder working, more cheerful and energetic woman in all my life!  She is also the most thorough and efficient cleaner around, and I'm grateful that skill has rubbed off on my husband!  I'm serious!  I used to be intimidated by her tendency to want to clean whenever she came to my house.  Now I look forward to it and gladly allow her to work her magic whenever and wherever she pleases.  Not 3 hours after she arrived here to visit last month, Neil and I left her with our two kids and our nephew Grant to go run some errands.  We were gone maybe an hour and a half.  The kids were happily playing together when we got home, and after exchanging a few words, Susie nonchalantly says, "Oh, and I mopped your floors."  You what?  With a 4 1/2 year old, a 20 month old and a 19 month old running around, you mopped my floors? Are you kidding me?  The woman doesn't mess around!  And I love her for it!

I don't just love her for her cleaning skills!  I could write a full list of qualities and other reasons why I love her.  In fact, I have!  HERE!

Mama Susie, I hope this day provides laughter, happiness and all the other good things life has to offer!  Wish I could give you a big birthday hug!  Love you.
signautre

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My parents

I just wanted to say a little something about my parents.  First of all, they are wonderful.  They've always been wonderful.  And I've found them to be even more wonderful these recent weeks as they've reached out to me more than ever. 

Chloe adores them - always has, of course - but on a whole new level now.  Part of it is that she's growing old enough to develop relationships and true feelings for others.  Another part of it is that she spent a solid 2 weeks with my parents in July.  It's been a pretty cool experience watching her discover what it is to love and care for someone deeply. 

She and my mom have always been close.  But this trip Chloe took a particular liking to my dad.  Tonight he told me, "Chloe's the apple of my eye."  I think if Chloe knew what that meant, she'd say the exact same thing about him.  During the time we were visiting, she would just follow Grandpa around everywhere.  She wanted to be a part of everything he was doing, and hardly left him alone.  Luckily he didn't mind one bit, and welcomed her company.  Those two developed a true bond during their time together, and it was hard to go back home for that reason. She was overjoyed when he, my brother and two of their close friends drove through last week on their way to New Orleans, and cried genuine tears the morning they left.  Since then, she's said at least once a day, "I miss my Grandpa."

Tonight I had a chance to catch up with my parents on the phone.  After getting the kids to bed and sitting down to work on the usual: pictures, I started to ponder my parents, their journey, and the amazing individuals that they are.  I find it's when I've grown that I discover yet another quality that they possess.  Well, I've been doing a lot of growing lately, so I suppose that's where this post stems from.  I am so grateful for my parents, for their hospitality, for their acceptance, for their support, for their example, and for their genuine love and concern for me and my family.  I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Grandpa with the kiddos - Hogle Zoo, July 2010
Grandma Jill with the kiddos - Paradise Bakery, July 2010
Don't I have a pretty mom?  Thanks for all you do, guys!  We love you.

On a side note, I am closing up business August 31st.  I am officially burnt out, and just too busy and stressed to be enjoying it anymore.  I do hope to resume business once I'm settled with Neil in California, but for right now my focus needs to be the kids and our home.  Once I'm caught up, which seems like an eternity away, I will be able to invest my late nights into this poor blog.  It kills me how behind I've gotten.  I took over a thousand pictures during our UT trip last month, not to mention the hundreds of May and June pictures which I have yet to even look through.  Hopefully after Labor Day I'll be able to find some ME time and get back on the blogging bandwagon.
signautre

Saturday, July 31, 2010

A time to grow

Life has been a lot of things lately.  Challenging, busy, eye-opening, humbling, and tender.  Being without a husband and companion for 4 weeks has surely been difficult, but even beyond Neil's absence, the greatest challenge has been all the uncertainties.  When will my house sell?  When will I see Neil again?  How long is too long?  I hate not having answers.  I hate being in limbo.  I hate feeling as though I don't belong anywhere.  Even an answer to ONE of my questions would help!

This I DO know:
We are working with an awesome realtorThe one we just "fired" - complete opposite of awesome.  As much as I'd love to rip the guy to pieces, he's not worth the trouble.  Our home was re-listed yesterday, and before noon today our new realtor had already received 3 phone call inquiries.  That's more action in 1 1/2 days than we saw in the 41 days it was listed with our previous realtor.  Again, opposite of awesome. 

Neil loves his new job, the people he works with, his boss, and the area (aside from the heat).  He heads to Pennsylvania August 15th for some intense 3 week training, and will finish September 3rd.

I miss him
.  Well of course I miss him - the whole Neil package!  But it's the small things that stand out to me most.  Watching our shows after we've put the kids down while sharing a bowl of chips and queso (which inevitably gets hoarded by Neil).  Hearing the garage door open and watching the kids race to welcome their daddy home.  Folding his laundry.  Making him a sandwich.  Sitting next to him in Sacrament Meeting.  Smacking each other on the butt.  I miss it all, but mostly those simple bits and pieces of our life, together.

I have a whole new respect for single moms and the sacrifices they make.  I constantly tell myself I could never be a single mom, but probably the greatest lesson I've learned since Neil left is that I never think I can handle something until I have to.  It hasn't been an easy job caring for two little ones on my own, but I've carried on anyway.  Nights are definitely the toughest.  By then I think we've all had enough.  Keeping my house clean has also been interesting.  I've actually stayed on top of it really well, but wow can Ryan make a mess fast!  I'd finally finished picking up today before we went to run some errands.  I am in the habit of making sure things look good any time I leave the house now because, well, that's part of the game when you're selling your home.  Anyway, everything was in place: dishwasher was running, garbage was out, toys were put away, kids were dressed.  I was finally getting MYSELF looking presentable to go out in public when I heard what sounded like running water.  When I ran out to the kitchen, there stood Ryan in the kitchen sink (which he naturally climbed into all by himself) with the water on, pumping the dish soap dispenser.  I immediately transferred him from the sink to the floor where he heroically galloped off giggling to himself.  Meanwhile the water's still running and I now have a lovely puddle of dish soap on my counter.  It's stuff like this that keeps me on my toes.  Neither of the kids ever stop, but especially Ryan.  He just goes from finishing one disaster to creating another.

While Chloe has been more challenging pushing her limits and whatnot, I will have to say she's also shown more love and affection towards me than she ever has before.  There have been moments when I've been in tears and she's simply walked over, given me a hug and kiss and then said, "There mommy.  Now you can be happy again!"  I'm not the only one who's shed tears over Neil's absence though.  Chloe definitely recognizes the changes that are taking place, and she's been affected by them too.  At first she didn't seem to get it, but now that Neil's been gone a full month and our only source of communication is by phone or Skype, it's definitely sunk in.  It's been an interesting observation watching Chloe learn to cope with this new chapter in her life.  She is certainly growing to be a tender-hearted little thing. 

The very first thought I had when I learned Neil would be moving to California without me and that I would have to stay behind until our house sold was, simply, "It's time to grow."  It's proven to be true, and has pretty much become my new motto.  I have found in this experience, as well as a few others over recent months, the value of privacy and of keeping certain things to yourself.  I've had many emotions race through my head, a few of which I've considered sharing with others but realized were more appropriate to take directly to the Lord.  I think this experience of being by myself has really enabled me do that more and more, ultimately building upon my personal relationship with my Heavenly Father.  After all, there are simply some things we can only discuss with Him!  I have had some very lonely nights; nights where I've cried into my pillow feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless, and so lonely that I didn't have anyone to cry to or bear my burdens with.  And even though I didn't feel immediate comfort all of those times, looking back I've grown to see the small acts in which Heavenly Father has allowed me to grow and recognize His hand in all things.

While I was visiting my family in Utah a couple weeks ago, my mom introduced me to a book by Sheri Dew entitled, 'If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard'.  In discussing how President Hinckley handled his wife's passing she says, "...Despite suffering such a ravaging loss at an age when many would simply give up, and with the weight of the Church and indeed the world on his shoulders, he keeps marching on."  Sometimes recognizing the trials of others and further appreciating how they handled those trials helps keep our trials in perspective.  The Pioneers, for example, whose accomplishments and triumphs we celebrated a short week ago!  Compared to their afflictions, my trials seem pathetically small and insignificant.  So what can I learn from the Pioneers?  What can I learn from President Hinckley?  To keep marching on myself.  I stumble some days, and will continue to, I'm sure.  But the next day I'll get back on my feet again and march some more.  Sooner or later this will all make sense.  And sooner or later, we'll be a family again.
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Friday, July 30, 2010

Happy Birthday to Allison!

Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law, Allison, who turns 29 today!


{Fox Run Park - July 2010}

Aside from her accomplishments and outer beauty, Allison carries with her a warm and empathetic heart.  When she expresses a thought or pays a compliment, there's no phoniness.  She doesn't just say things to say things.  She is genuine and thoughtful in word and action.  I admire Allison both as friend and sister, and I look forward to many more years of knowing her, building memories, and watching our boys grow to be the best of friends.

Happy Birthday, Allison dear!
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Talking to daddy

Just look at this sweet boy talking to his daddy. He misses him just like his sister and mama do.

{taken 08 July 2010 in my parents' backyard}
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Friday, June 25, 2010

3 More Reasons to Celebrate...

There are always reasons to celebrate, right?  Here are 3 for the month of June! 

#1 - my sister-in-law, Lori's birthday on the 19th, which also happens to be my Grandma Butterfield's birthday.  Lori was my first "sister", and to this day I truly consider her just that.  She has been a part of many special moments in my life, including the birth of both of my babies (no one else other than Neil can say that!).  I am grateful for the memories we've shared over the years, and for the opportunity I have had to live so close to her.  Lori is expecting a baby girl in September, and I think I just might be as excited as she is! 


{Lori and Jared in front of their new home; May 2010 - do you see the baby bump?}

Lori, I hope your birthday was awesomer than awesome!  And on a side note, Happy Birthday to Jared on March 20th (yes, 3 months ago).  I am usually really good with birthdays, but this year it went right over my head.  Sorry about that, Jared dear!  We do love you, and are so happy to have you in the family.

#2 - Father's Day!  I love Father's Day.  It's such a special time to reflect on and celebrate not only the fathers, but all the important men in our lives.  I am grateful for a father who cares so much about my happiness, and who respects me and the decisions I make.  I am grateful for a father-in-law, who from day 1, has accepted and loved me as his own blood, and who picks up the phone and calls me every now and then to catch up and see how I'm doing.  I am grateful for a brother, who will someday make an incredible father, but who in the meantime is a playful, funny and loving uncle to my children.  I am grateful for my grandfathers, who have both passed on.  Each offered wisdom, humor, experience, and a certain level of love that I am forever touched by.  I am grateful for brothers-in-law and uncles, all of whom support and love me, make me laugh, and each hold special qualities that make them the unique and wonderful men that they are. 

And last but not least, I am grateful for my husband, who takes care of me, and who fathers our children with unconditional love and dedication.  I would be lying if I said Neil always found fatherhood blissful.  But come on, what father really does?  Neil has countless fatherly qualities about him.  A few that stand out to me are as follows:

1)  He respects and stands beside me always.  When Chloe talks back or disrespects me in any way, Neil doesn't tolerate it.  Naturally she and Ryan need to respect us, but it is also important that they always see dad and mom respecting one another and working together as a team.  I am grateful that Neil shows love, affection and respect towards me so that our children see it and learn from their father's example.

2)  He plays with our children.  He throws them, swings them, shakes them, tickles them, and makes them laugh in a way that I cannot.  It's the moments when he's just gotten home from work and I hear the delightful giggles coming from our room because the kids are so excited to have Daddy home that they can't even wait for him to change out of his work clothes before they start tackling and loving on him, that I am grateful my children have both a father and mother.  We both have specific roles, and while I am certainly capable of wrestling with my children, it seems to come more naturally to Neil.   

3)  He communicates with and teaches them valuable things.  Sometimes when Neil has just gotten after Chloe for something, and he's explaining to her why she got into trouble and why whatever it is that she did is not okay, I am overwhelmed by his ability to explain things in such a precise way that Chloe can absorb every word.  He truly has a gift for breaking things down so that what he's explaining is perfectly clear.  This has applied to me hundreds of times as well, but now that Chloe is growing to understand valuable concepts and lessons, I have grown to have an even greater appreciation for this gift of Neil's.



I love Neil's cheerful nature, and how it's rubbed off on Chloe and Ryan.  They are both such happy kids, and I know that's no accident.  I am a lucky girl to have this man and so many other wonderful men in my life.  Happy belated Father's Day to all!

And #3 - Neil's new job!  After 10 solid months of pursuing new opportunities with this company, Neil's hard work has finally paid off!  He will be working as a Spinal Sales Consultant in Stockton/Modesto, CA.  He has had his heart set on medical device sales for years now, and so this is truly a dream come true for him.  There is a lot potential for the territory he'll be covering, and if anyone knows Neil, it goes without saying that he'll get in there and make a difference fast!  He's such a go getter, and I am so so proud of him.

Unfortunately the company does not offer a relocation package for new hires.  Neil's start date is July 6th, but I won't be able to join him in California until our house sells.  We are hoping for a miracle, but with today's market, it's impossible to predict a time frame.  In the meantime, he has a room for rent waiting for him in Ripon, which is right smack between Stockon and Modesto.  I am planning to spend a good chunk of July visiting my family in UT.  Why not?  I have the time, and it'll make showing the house that much easier if we aren't around.

The month of June has been one of the craziest months of our lives.  Between receiving the job offer and making all the needed purchases/adjustments, to getting our house on the market, not to mention all the other things that life has thrown at us, we've had our work cut out for us.  Because a company car will not be provided, one of our first purchases was a new car for Neil.   


A 2009 Volkswagen Jetter TDI. This baby gets 45 miles to the gallon! It's a good thing with how much time Neil will be spending in it!


I think he's happy. That makes me happy.  Man, I'm gonna miss that cute smile.  I mean, really!  Who could resist that!?

I am feeling a lot of anxiety over the unknowns of our future, but I know everything will work out just as it's supposed to. I keep telling myself that it's time to grow. It certainly is. It certainly is.
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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Good Things to Come

The message in this video touched me deeply, and I wanted to share it with you.

 

"Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings some soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.  It will be all right in the end.  Trust God and believe in good things to come."  - Jeffrey R. Holland
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Sunday, May 30, 2010

Ryan's latest...

As mentioned in my previous post, Ryan turned 18 months on the 9th of May.


  He is growing into quite the mischievous child.  He is into everything, and I mean everything!  No really.  EVERYTHING!  Just when I've cleaned up one spill/mess/disaster, he's started (or sometimes finished) another one.  The other night, I'd just gotten him out of the bath when my phone rang.  I left him on my bed and ran to the kitchen to answer it, only to come back to my room 4 minutes later to Ryan rubbing an entire tub of Vaseline all over himself, his towel, and the blanket he was sitting on.  This is only one of MANY stories where Ryan has explored his limits. 

His favorite spot to raid is the pantry.  And half the time it's to dump whatever box of whatever onto the floor and then giggle at his success.  He climbs anything he can, whether it be the coffee table, entertainment center, toilet, piano, dishwasher, dining room table or computer desk.  It's not uncommon for me to walk into the kitchen to find him standing on the table swinging the dining room light above.  He is such a stinker.

Here's my sweet boy after waking from a nap a week or so ago. I love how happy he is after his naps. I always know he's awake when I hear him cheerfully babbling to himself in his crib.

Here are a few recent updates/milestones that I've managed to jot down.

February 19th (15 months) - yes I'm going back this far:
Ryan threw a box of Mac n' Cheese into the toilet.  Okay, maybe this isn't a milestone, but it is definitely something we'll laugh about in ten years!  -AND- it also marks the first of many other dropping-random-objects-into-the-toilet events.

February 28th (15 1/2 months):
Ryan flipped out of his crib.  Apparently his attempts to get out were successful, but perhaps, not exactly how he'd planned it.  He was fine, and actually hasn't even attempted to escape his crib since (thank goodness).  Even if he thought he was ready for a big boy bed now, I'm definitely NOT!


March 22nd (16 1/2 months):
Ryan started the washing machine all by himself.  That morning, just out of the blue, I heard what sounded like water running.  When I got to the laundry room, there stood Ryan, on a stool, looking oh so proud of himself.  Our washer really isn't that user-friendly, so I'm honestly amazed that he knew just which buttons to push to get that thing going.

March 28th (16 1/2 months):
Ryan said his first word: "nu-nah-nu" (banana).  I suppose that's appropriate since it's one of the only things he's consistently willing to eat.  Since then he's said, "juu!" (juice).  He also says "daa-doo" after I give him something, which we have interpreted as, "thank you".  Actually, come to think of it, he's been saying that for months, so for all I know "thank you" was his first word, not "banana".  Either way.  As of May 9th, those were about the only 3 words he uttered, other than "Mama" and "Dada".  But since then he's made a much greater effort to expand his vocabulary.  On several Sundays leading up to his first day in nursery, we spent lots of time roaming the halls because he wouldn't sit still or be happy any other way.  Naturally, as there were several pictures of Jesus on the walls, we'd often stop and look at them, and I'd always make it a point to tell Ryan who was in each picture.  A couple weekends ago, we were up to Neil's sister's house, and there was a picture of Jesus on the wall.  At one point I was carrying Ryan around, and, just as we'd done hundreds of times before at church, I stopped and pointed out the picture to Ryan.  When I said, "That's Jesus!", Ryan replied, "JeSEUS!", really emphasizing the "SEUS!"  It was hilarious, and darling, of course.  He did it a couple more times before we left on Sunday.  I really can't think of any other specific words he's said, but he's getting to the point now where we'll say, "Ryan, say....", and he'll then attempt to say it.  Even if it comes out an entirely different sounding word, the tone and number of syllables are usually right on.  So the desire is finally there, and I'm sure in no time he'll be talking up a storm.  Especially if he's anything like his sister.

April 12th (17 months):
Noticed Ryan's 2 top molars.  Don't know the exact date they broke through, but I would imagine it was that week prior, based on some of the long nights we'd had. 


May 2nd (17 3/4 months):
Noticed Ryan's 2 bottom molars.  Again, not sure of the exact date they actually broke through.  But that now makes 12 teeth!

Somewhere around the end of April/beginning of May:
Ryan started walking up the stairs.  He still crawls up a fair amount of the time, but more often than not, he attempts the climb on foot now.  It's so cute, because he's still so petite. 

Some of Ryan's current favorite things include:Brushing his teeth, drinking from a regular cup - not a bottle or sippy, taking a bath, "brushing" his hair (I think it gives him a boost his ego to pretend he has something to brush), going down the slide tummy first, trying on daddy's, mommy's and Chloe's shoes...


...fruit snacks, the piano, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Chloe's red tricycle, which he'll be big enough for in no time.  Since Chloe has upgraded to a bike with training wheels, I guess Ryan has automatically inherited the tricycle.  It'll be fun when he is tall enough to actually ride it around.

Ryan can, among other things:
Locate several of his body parts, including head, hair, nose, mouth, teeth, ears, cheeks, chin and belly button.  He also loves looking at and poking other peoples' belly buttons.  They absolutely fascinate him.

Give hugs, kisses, head bonks, body slams, you name it.  He has also been attempting to jump.  Ever since he saw a video of his cousin, Grant do it, he's been determined to master this new trick himself! In addition, he folds his arms for prayers, and even sometimes beats us to it when we've just sat down at the table to eat a meal. See the picture below of him showing off this fun (and precious) skill.

Take orders, and do exactly what we tell him to.  He may not be much of a talker just yet, but he sure understands a lot.
Eat with a fork, and even attempts to use a knife when we let him.  We determined months ago that he is left handed.  See him drawing in the picture below.  So funny since neither Neil, Chloe or I are.


Ryan desperately needs a haircut.


As you can see, he is nearly bald on top of his head, but has a good inch in length growing around the side of his head. We call him mullet boy. He really likes it. I think I am hesitating the first haircut for 2 reasons. 1 - I know that it will automatically transform him from a baby into a little boy, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that; and 2 - I'm afraid that either my lack of experience with haircutting or his unwillingness to hold still will result in a disaster. I suppose there isn't much there so even if I did mess it up you'd hardly be able to tell. Still, I've chosen to put it off for another couple of days (or weeks).




This sweet boy might be a stinker, but he sure is lovable, and I can't imagine life without him.  I am so head over heels in love with my Ryan, and so grateful that I get to be his mommy.  Happy 18 month birthday, my boy (a couple weeks late)! 
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Monday, May 24, 2010

Just because...

...I love this picture.


...And these children.
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