Oh, life. Why art thou so crazy? Truly, I am shocked by how much busier things have become since Chloe started school. I was so naive to think it would slow down just having one child at home with me during the day. Now I laugh at my four-month-ago-self. Then I look at moms of multiple children and wonder, "How?!" How do they do it? How do they keep up with dentist appointments, maintain a clean house, volunteer at school, build and maintain relationships with each child and ensure their individual needs are met, enforce scripture study and FHE, keep up with church callings, spend quality time with their husbands, exercise, keep milk in the fridge and meals on the table, shower daily? It especially shocks me when these moms, on top of appearing to have it all together, also manage to always look cute. They say you just find your groove. Well (chuckle, chuckle), I'm still looking for mine, and it's likely to take me the rest of the school year to find it.
There's no question I am my own worst critic. I set high (and often unrealistic) expectations for myself, busting my rear to fulfill them. And perhaps to some, I appear to have it together. Some days I do! But more often than not I fall short, and sometimes, in staying on top of one thing, completely neglect something else. It's hard to find that constant balance - that "groove." Recently I stumbled upon this quote.
What a basic yet profound statement! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm trying to do too much. Then came another epiphany. These moms, who have found their "groove," don't do it all. They focus on the important things and set aside the not-so-important things, even if that means making sacrifices and stumbling along the way. They know their limits and don't try to cram in what they know they can't handle. I think it's when I accept that I can't do all the things I thought I could or wanted to do AND, most importantly, that that's okay, my mind is suddenly clearer, my heart lighter and my life simpler. It reminds me a lot of this talk by Dallin H. Oaks. I am still learning how to manage my time and responsibilities, but slowly, in changing my focus and pondering the truly important things, I'm getting there.
Speaking of important things, here's a glimpse into the recent madness of our lives. Oh, the things they come up with.
This morning, in attempt to convince me that he should clip my fingernails, Ryan said, "If you let me, I'll give you a stickerrrrrr!" (big emphasis on "sticker," probably in an attempt to be more persuasive)
Also this morning, while doing his bathroom business, Ryan said, "My tummy hurts." I apologized and stood with him while he continued to look adorable sitting on the toilet. Then he said, "I need a band-aid." I asked him where he needed a band-aid, expecting him to point to his finger or somewhere. Instead he said, "On my tummy." Poor kid. He seems to be feeling better now and has not asked for another band-aid.
Recently (okay, last month), after having lost my voice due to a nasty cold, I was reading Chloe a bedtime story. At one point she interrupted me to say, "Mommy, I think your other voice is prettier."
And here's an example of how Chloe's negotiation tactics have rubbed off on her brother. The other week while in the car just after picking Chloe up from school, she proceeded to grab an apple slice out of her unfinished lunch pail.
Ryan: "Can I have an apple?"
Chloe: "Yeah, you can have one. But just one, okay?"
Ryan: "How 'bout five?"
Here are some of the words exchanged during a recent Sunday dinner.
Ryan: "Hey, I have a big idea! Let's turn the lights out and then use a flashlight to see!"
Chloe (raising her hand): "I'm gonna use a bone in my eyeball to see! Bahahaahahah!"
Chloe was laughing hysterically at herself, which naturally prompted her brother to do the same. A few minutes later, completely out of the blue, Ryan asked, "Can I be Superman for Christmas?"
Then finally, after telling the kids they could each have a popsicle if they finished their dinner, Chloe, while shaking her head and looking down at her food, said, "Here goes!"
I can't say enough how much I adore being a mother. Sometimes I miss the easier days of having one child to care for - a child who was not old enough to be in school, and who just hung out with me at home each day. There are certainly happy moments from that simple time in my life which I'll never forget and always cherish. But even with how chaotic, exhausting and sometimes out-of-control my life has become these recent months, I wouldn't change any of it. It's been just another stepping stone toward learning to do away with the less important so I can focus on the most important.
1 comment:
You sound a lot like me and then I also realized I can delegate. My oldest is older though. It gets easier every year!!! And then when the second goes to school you become unorganized all over again. :) I am finally figuring out 2 in school, however I have not yet managed to get a book order in on time for my youngest. Poor second child......
thekindergartenchick.blogspot.com
Post a Comment