A visit and 3 birthdays

It's always fun when Grandma comes to visit, especially on a week when two great milestones are taking place!  What, you ask, might those be?  Well, kindergarten for Chloe, of course.  And for Grandma Susie?  A birthday!  That's right.  On August 13th, Susie celebrated the big 5-5!  What a milestone!  She sure is youthful for being that old (HA!), despite Chloe's innocently honest remark over Sunday's dinner about all her wrinkles.

Grandma Susie, we're so glad you could come hang out with us for a week!  And we're even more glad that you chose to do so the week of your birthday!  It is rare that we get to the chance to celebrate with you and it was special for us just as we hope it was special for you!

{During an afternoon of rafting and enjoying some warm California sun.}

You are an awesome person for whom I hold high respect.  You know what you want, know how to achieve it, and don't waste any time in the process.  I also love that you are honest and direct.  One of the nights you were here, Chloe asked if you went to church and you told her you went to the same church that she does.  I loved what you said next:  "It's true, ya know."  What strength and confidence your children and grandchildren gain in hearing you share your beliefs.  I have always admired your obedient heart and love for and confidence in the gospel.  And I find it to be more comforting than ever now that Chloe is growing old enough to understand the concept of a testimony and use yours and other loved ones' as a foundation for her own.

Rafting, sugar cookie baking & frosting, swimming, shopping, bike riding, and movies... it was all a blast!  Thanks for coming to see us, and thanks for being awesome!

{Eating a special birthday breakfast cake while opening a very funny birthday card.}

We love you and hope you had a wonderful birthday!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Grandma Jean, who celebrated on the 16th and also my father-in-law, Dave, who celebrated on the 19th. 


{LEFT to RIGHT: Uncle Don, Grandpa Don, Grandma Jean & Blake, Mom, and Dad}

I had to steal these pictures off facebook since I don't have recent pictures of either one of you. Obviously it's been too long since we hung out. Good thing Lake Powell is just around the corner!  XOXO.

Late night chat

Tonight as we were heading up to bed, I made my nightly rounds to the kids' rooms; you know, the usual: make sure they're still breathing and kiss them goodnight (yet again).  When I entered Ryan's room I noticed the cupboards attached to his dresser/changing table were wide open.  In fear that he might run into one if he happened to get up in the night, I closed them.  Just then I heard some rustling coming from his direction of the room followed by,

"Hi Mom."

"Hi buddy," I said as I knelt down beside him on the floor (where he sleeps 98% of the time). 

With his eyes still closed, he reached his arms straight out in front of him and said, "Hug", to which I quickly fulfilled his wish.  Then, only a second or two later,  "Kiss".  I again obliged.  His eyes were still closed. 

THEN, about five seconds after that, he said, "I colored on my penis."

"You what?" (I hadn't caught the "colored", only, "my penis".)  When he repeated himself and I caught on to what he was saying I started to chuckle, which made Ryan, whose eyes were still closed, chuckle too. 

"I colored on my penis," he said again, "and my tummy."  He actually did color in these places earlier this evening, hence the red marks all over his lower half (and desire, for whatever reason, to remind me).

"We don't color on our body though, do we?", I said.

"No, only on paper."  More giggles.

What a sweet little boy, and what a preciously silly (and unexpected) 11:43pm conversation he and I had.  I sure do love that kid, troublesome and all.

Paragraph missing... and a few more thoughts

I was just glancing at the post I published late last night and noticed a paragraph was missing.  Oops.  Not sure how that happened because I know I wrote it.  Anyway, if you've read the post (which I don't expect many have because it's long and void of pictures), and wondered if something was off or missing, you are correct!  It's the paragraph starting with, "Not two days later..." that was inadvertently removed.  Sorry about that. 

I also had an afterthought, which I might as well share now since I'm going to the trouble of writing this post anyway.  There is a particular scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 121 that has brought me comfort in recent months as I have tackled the various challenges of parenting with patience, and which greatly applies here.  Section 121 consists of prophecies written by Joseph Smith when he was in Liberty Jail, specifically, the responsibilities and attributes of the Priesthood.  Many prophets and other church authorities have referenced this section and have dissected some of its verses in great detail. 

41: No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only be persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42: By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile--
43: Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
44: That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.
45: Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
46: The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

These words so beautifully describe the attributes that holders of the Priesthood should seek and practice, as well as parents.  Verse 43 in particular hits hard every time I read it.  We are human, and as parents we sometimes lack patience and tolerance.  We react on impulse and allow outside frustrations to influence our temper and the manner in which we discipline our children.  That's not to say our children don't need to be corrected, sometimes in a sharp, firm manner.  But just as we should scold them (sensitively) when necessary, we should also show "an increase of love" afterwards.  This is so hard to do sometimes when we may not feel so warm and fuzzy inside, but so imperative for the sake of our children and our relationships with them.  Truly, the way we act around and treat our children is the way they will learn to act around and treat others. 

President Gordon B. Hinckley's talk, Behold Your Little Ones, from October 1978's Conference Report is just incredible and encompasses this whole idea.  I would recommend any parent read it and take heart to his wise council about raising children.

I am so grateful, amidst this crazy, evil world in which I live, to have the gospel in my life, and for the prophets, past and present, who offer guidance and comfort to members of the church.  A part of me is terrified at the thought of Chloe being out there now where I can no longer control her surroundings, encounters, experiences and friendships.  But another part of me, a bigger part of me, feels reassured that she will be just fine.  Because as her parents, Neil and I have the power and privileged to teach her every day, both by word and example.  Just as the scripture says, we have with us the Holy Ghost to help us, so long as we're living in a manner that is worthy of His presence.  Sometimes our "teaching" is unpleasant but necessary, and sometimes it's pleasant and fulfilling.  Whichever it may be, I am trying much harder to think before I react and always, no matter what, end things on a positive, loving note.  If this concept isn't enough to motivate me to be a better person then I don't know what is.

Why Chloe needs kindergarten in her life...

I wrote this a few months ago and wanted to get it posted before Chloe started kindergarten.  Too late for that seeing that August 10th was five days ago.  I know, what kind of mother am I that I haven't even posted a picture from her first day?!  (Or wished my mother-in-law, who turned fifty-five on the 13th a happy birthday?)  In some ways, however, I think it's appropriate that I'm posting this now because of the added perspective I've gained from these short four days she's been in kindergarten.  This summer and especially the few weeks leading up to that bittersweet first day, I've frequently pondered Chloe's tendencies and habits.  And as I've done so, it has struck me numerous times that she, and children in general, each reach a point in their lives where dad and mom aren't enough anymore, and when school is simply crucial to their growth and well being.  Structure, routine, responsibility, challenges, consequences, independence, teachers and other sources of authority, and friends.  They just need it.  Yes, they still need their parents too.  But without school (whether it be in a public setting or at home), it is difficult for children to grasp some important concepts about surviving in this world.  The following is a {somewhat comical} account of recent challenges I've faced with Chloe.  Reflecting back on the four short days she's been in kindergarten I can honestly say I am already seeing positive changes in her, which reinforces my previous claim that school is crucial. 

These events took place in April, and I wrote this post in May.  It may seem a bit silly and lacking in direction or purpose.  And perhaps I'm just setting myself up for others to judge me as a mom.  But I think it's good to document not just the pleasant but sometimes the unpleasant, particularly when there are lessons to be learned.  And hey, if nothing else, if I'd had the nerve and strong will at age five that my daughter has now, I'd really enjoy reading about it twenty-five years later.

... 

Preschool mornings, which are thankfully of the past, were rarely joyful in our house. Inevitably Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings were the mornings Chloe did not want to get out of bed, and would whimper and whine until we dragged her up.  Then she'd usually whimper and whine some more.  I will have to say she did improve as the end of the school year approached, but generally those mornings meant a grumpy little miss.

One morning in particular (in April), after laying out Chloe's clothes and awakening her, I raced downstairs to make sure Ryan wasn't up to any trouble. Naturally, he had already found it (sigh) in the pantry.  Yep, there he sat, on the floor, enjoying the bag of M&Ms Chloe had earned at preschool the day prior, which he had retrieved from the top shelf of the pantry. If you don’t believe me when I say “top shelf”, take a look at this.  Or this.  It's a good thing Chloe didn't see him, although I don't know that it would have made much difference with the foul mood she was already in (and about to inflict upon us).

First, the shirt I picked out for her was "wrong". It had a three quarter length sleeve and she doesn't like those for whatever reason. Or maybe I should say she didn't like them on this particular day, either because I chose it or because she tends to like things one day and dislike them the next. There's usually no explanation, but she does it a lot. "I don't like broccoli anymore. I used to like it but I don't anymore." Or, "Yes, I'll have butter on my toast. I don't really like butter, except in cookies, but I'll eat it today."

After a minor squabble over the three quarter length sleeved shirt, she reluctantly put it on and came downstairs. This is when I offered her breakfast. Among a handful of options, she chose a granola bar and proceeded to tear off the plastic packaging and bite into it. Now I'm convinced it was broken in two to begin with, but she didn't notice it until she'd taken that first bite. That’s when the world stopped and Chloe proceeded to chuck the imperfect granola bar onto the floor, cross her arms and let out a pitiful groan. I immediately told her to pick it up to which she replied, "No! I'm not going to eat that! It's broken!" We went back and forth for twenty or so seconds before I simply concluded, "If you don't pick up that granola bar and eat it, you don't eat at all!" Chloe didn't believe that I'd actually send her to school hungry, but quickly realized I wasn't messing around.  Either eat it, or be hungry.  Those were her two options.

Not two days later we had a similar incident, again, before preschool and during breakfast time. What joy fills my soul when the first thing I hear upon awakening in the morning is the shrilling scream of my child. I don't often catch Chloe in the act of bullying her brother, but on this particular morning I happened to walk into the kitchen just in time to witness her shoving Ryan. Without a second thought I sent her straight to timeout, reiterating for the 17,857th time that it is never okay to contact someone in such a manner! As she stood there, I took it upon myself to prepare her cereal. We were running low on time and I was trying to make every minute count. So after placing a bowl of Apple Jacks at her place and telling her she could come out, she walked to the table, took one glance at it, and burst into tears.

"I didn't want Apple Jacks! I wanted Cocoa Krispies!"

Really, Chloe? After earning a first class ticket to timeout, you're going to have the nerve, not a second after being released, to throw a fit over the cereal I poured into your bowl? I tried to explain to her that, 1) she asks for Apple Jacks 90% of the time, so why wouldn't I assume she'd go for Apple Jacks on this morning too?, and 2) given the circumstances, does she really think it's acceptable to throw a tantrum right now over something so trivial?

But wait, it gets better. As Chloe was now stomping, screaming, and borderline hyperventilating (no exaggeration - I wish I'd captured it on video), she paused to say, "I'm not your daughter anymore!", to which I matter-of-factly replied, "You're not!? Well, maybe you should find a new mom then!"

Chloe, who by this point was on fire and ready to accept my challenge, then raced to the front door, attempting to escape with no success due to the locked top latch. For the sake of our neighbors, it's probably best that she didn't make it outside.  No one needed to catch a glimpse of our morning glory.

So why in heaven's name would I share these stories? Certainly they don't paint a very good picture of my dramatic five-year-old, or her mother for that matter!  I'd like to think that in years to come when I've [hopefully] found a way to channel Chloe's stubborn and headstrong nature into something healthy and productive, she and I will laugh together at the arguments we once had. But aside from that, I find that these experiences have taught both Chloe and me something. First, let me just say this. Chloe did wear the three quarter length sleeved shirt that day. And, believe it or not, she did end up eating the broken and now-off-the-floor granola bar. And would you believe it if I told you that she even ate the entire bowl of Apple Jacks about which she so strongly disapproved?

Parenting is miserable at times. There's no other way to put it. But in sticking to my guns and not giving into Chloe's pity parties, it would appear that I got through to her. Sure, it would have been much easier to say, "Fine, go choose a shirt!", "Okay then, here's a fresh, new, fully intact granola bar!", and finally, "Oh, you didn't want Apple Jacks? Well, sweetheart, let me just throw that cereal right down the drain since there aren't any starving children in Africa who wouldn't love to eat it for you! And what was it that you wanted instead of Apple Jacks? Cocoa Krispies? Can I sprinkle some sugar on it for you too?!" I did not do any of those things. Now, weeks later, does she still throw tantrums? Yes, she does. But to the same magnitude that she threw these? Generally, no.  Of course she still has her days (don't we all?), but I am seeing huge improvements in her.

She certainly isn't going to grow up overnight, but little by little, we are making progress.

Backtracking to March: Everything else

As a continuation of my last post, here's what's left to share of March's madness:

Ryan stopped "napping" somewhere around February/March.  This was actually an improvement from Chloe, who gave up naps before her second birthday!  Why do kids do this?  Don't they know mom needs that two hour window of peace and quiet each day?  While Ryan suddenly refused to take naps, that didn't necessarily mean he no longer needed them.  And this was (and has continued to be) demonstrated time and time again by the many afternoons I'd discover him asleep on the floor, couch or wherever else.

Aside from refusing to take scheduled naps but still taking plenty of unscheduled naps, we found additional ways to occupy our time...

...like licking strawberry syrup off the floor.

...discovering new places to hide.

...exploring the pantry.


...and cleaning the bathroom!

(Couldn't help but smile and think of THIS when I discovered Ryan with the Comet.)

It was also a triumphant month for the potty trainers in the household.

Oh, and hello there, fashion statement!  Who knew underwear over the pants could look so cool?

While we're talkin' potties and underwear, I should also mention that we helped encourage other little boys (ie, Ryan's cousin, James) to use the potty, too!

"See!?  It's easy!"

And for those of you who still claim that Ryan looks bald,this one's for you.

Love those toes.

We took advantage of the blossoming orchards and snuck out one afternoon for pictures.

And as you can see, my subjects took their jobs very seriously.

We baked cookies with Janea and Tay...

...then worked them off with some good old Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred.

(Notice the cans on the floor, which were used as "weights")

We climbed the ladder into the attic -ALL BY OURSELVES- and played "house" while Ryan took an "unscheduled" nap and daddy carried up and stored storage bins.

We enjoyed some "girl time" one afternoon following preschool while sick Neil and tired Ryan napped inside.




Chloe picked the snacks.




We celebrated St. Patrick's Day with green jello, some peek-a-boos...


...and a yummy new recipe: Sloppy Joe Spaghetti Cups

(I used shredded chicken, not ground)

And speaking of food, we also had a picnic at the park.







...and shared lots of laughs over staticky hair and whatever else may have seemed funny at the time.

We planted an orange tree for Family Home Evening.









(Currently we have 2 oranges.  They both look like limes right now, but it won't be long...)

I became a California driver...

...for the second time...

...passing the much dreaded, written test with flying colors (well, I missed 2). There's a really funny story behind this photo, which ultimately justifies it. After all, what adult, who's been driving legally for 13 years has her husband take a picture of her holding up her temporary California license? Let's just say it took 3 trips to the DMV to register my car and obtain a license successfully.  In my defense, the list of documents needed to register a car were not up to date on their website, which explains one of my wasted trips.  As for the other, they wouldn't accept my marriage certificate, even though we never received an actual license when we got married.  So I had to go back and get my passport since I had nothing else to prove my married name was legit.  Then, finally, on the third trip when I had everything I needed for my license and went to take the test, I ended up doing the front and back pages (18 questions on each side, 36 total), only to learn when I completed it and took the test up to the grouchy DMV lady, that I was actually only required to answer 18 of them (one side). So, in essence, I did twice the work that I had to, and, thankfully, passed BOTH times!  Needless to say, I was pretty relieved to finally be done with the silly process, hence the photo.  I know, I'm a nerd.  But if you had any idea how much I hated tests (or the DMV) you'd understand.

Now, onto the next event of the month.   My good friend, Tami put together a workshop for some photographers in the area. She lined up the models herself, did their hair and makeup (because she has multiple talents), and then let us loose with our cameras. It was a fun way to break the ice, learn from one another, practice without the pressure, and just have a good time. I'm not gonna lie. When we first moved to Ripon last Fall and I learned there were two photographers in our ward, I wasn't thrilled. But this experience was a good slap on the hand for me. I realized that I was being completely unreasonable and ultimately allowing my insecurities to get in the way of building wonderful relationships, which I've since done! Tami, Janea and Misty have grown to be some of my greatest friends, and certainly my closest here in Ripon. Since March, we've gotten together to let our kids play, we've had girls' nights out, we've done other shoots together, and we've talked endlessly about photography.  It's been a huge blessing for me on many levels, and I'm grateful to Tami for opening that door and bringing us all together. She is an incredible photographer and person. She's also the first friend I had in Ripon, seeing that our husbands work together, so she'll always hold a special place in my heart. I'm fortunate to be a part of such a wonderful and talented circle of women.

Here are a few I took at the workshop. Still have a handful more, which I'll get to some day.

And here we are, hunting our prey. Misty took this.

It was a cold, rainy, windy day, and by the time we finished our feet were soaked from walking around in the tall, wet grass. It was worth it though.

{Of the photographers, Janea is second from the left, Misty is fourth from the right, and Tami and Amber are on the end.}

And I guess I ought to, in closing, mention this fun fact too (are you still awake?).  During the month of March, the kids BOTH became obsessed with... 

Superman!  It all started one Wednesday evening when I came home from a youth activity to find Neil and Chloe watching Superman IV.  It just happened to be on TV and according to Neil, Chloe was hooked the second he flipped it on.  As I got dinner started and observed her out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't believe how into it she was.  She wouldn't take her eyes off the screen and reacted so innocently and honestly when Superman or anyone else was in danger.  At one point she even started jumping on the couch and cheering, "Yeaaaah!  Goooo Superman!" when he defeated the bad guy.  Well, we just happen to own the Superman collection and let's just say we are all too familiar with it now.  The initial excitement has worn off a bit, but Chloe and Ryan still average a viewing of Superman at least three times a week.  That's better than the twice a day they were requesting back in March and April!  Chloe's favorite is Superman IV, probably because it's the first one of the movies she saw.  Ryan's, on the other hand, is the first Superman, naturally, because of the "chuh chuh gah choo choo twain."  Chloe also started going around repeating the phrase, "No pain, no gain!", which comes from the cheesy gym scene in IV.  And because Chloe repeats it, Ryan has caught on and now says it too from time to time, too.  Chloe has also figured out how to play the theme music melody on the piano AND on Ryan's play saxophone.  No joke.  Funny kids.

Wow, March turned out to be a lot more eventful than I realized!  Hope you enjoyed.