It's a Wonderful Life

Week in Review (January 8-14)

2012-02-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

STARTED TUESDAY, JANUARY16th. FINISHED TONIGHT. :)

Another few weeks have come and gone, and once again, I'm behind! So let's catch up, beginning with the week of January 8th, which started off a lot worse than it ended.

Monday, the 9th felt like a typical Monday - uneventful; mostly pleasant. Neil had a big case that morning with a surgeon he's been trying to get into the OR with for over a year and a half. The case ran smoothly, and the surgeon seemed happy, which is always a good thing. The rest of the day was pretty slow and quiet. Then came the BCS National Championship game.

I'll be honest. I had a pit in my stomach from the moment I woke up Monday morning. I'm sure it stemmed from LSU/Alabama's November 5th match, which many referred to as "the game of the century." Anyone who watched it will agree it was tortuous. We won, but not without a bloody battle. It really wasn't the fact that we had to fight so hard that put me over the edge. If anything, a consistently close score and even performance are normally components of really good game. It was all the back and forth punts, the numerous short and unexciting plays, and the zero touchdowns scored that made me want to pull my hair out. Both defenses played so incredibly well, that neither offense could move the ball. By the fourth quarter, I had a pounding headache. And by overtime, Neil and I were both pacing the room. I wondered if it would ever end. Then, finally, with 19 seconds to spare, Alleman kicked a 25-yard field goal, bringing LSU to a 9-6 victory. Neil instantly grabbed me like a bear, while I burst into tears. Go ahead, laugh it up. I know I'm a nut. I was just so worn down mentally, and so relieved, not just that it was over, but that we had actually won, that I couldn't do anything but cry. Up to that point, I don't think I'd ever been more emotionally invested in a football game, perhaps with the exception of Superbowl XXIX, when MVP Steve Young led the 49ers to a record-breaking victory against the Chargers. That game was pretty much a blow-out though, whereas this one was nearly the opposite. I'm still a bit startled by my level of anxiety over the November 5th game. I suppose it just goes to show how much I've grown to love LSU. I've been a fan since 2004's Nokia Bowl against OU, which you can read about HERE, but my fandom has grown intensely since then.

Taken just before the first game (05 November 2011). The kids loved having paw prints on their cheeks.

So, jumping back to January 9, 2012: LSU and Alabama, AGAIN. Part of me was afraid that we were about to face a repeat of the last game, which I really didn't think I could handle. But honestly, a bigger part of me just had a feeling we were going to lose this time, and I think that was the true source of the pit. Unfortunately, I was not prepared for the kind of loss that ended up taking place. Let's just say Neil turned the game off right before 'Bama intercepted the ball and ran it for a touchdown to finish things off, 21-0. LSU was in the twilight zone. There was no fire, no passion, no drive; just timidness, fear and a strange sort of frantic disconnection through the entire four quarters. It was truly bizarre. Even a single field goal would have saved them an ounce of dignity, but they couldn't even achieve that. It was awful; the worst football game I've ever watched, and certainly the worst LSU has ever played. To go from carrying an undefeated record and owning the #1 ranking all season long, to playing like a group of amateurs in the game that mattered most, was surely a let down. But I'll tell you what! LSU played an incredible regular season, and that is something to feel good about. And regardless of what coulda or shoulda happened, or even what's bound to come (which, I am confident will be pure goodness), the Andersens are still forever fans. It's been in Neil's bloodline for years, and only a passion I inherited upon marrying into the family. That's right! I may be a west coast girl, but that doesn't mean I can't love a good Southern football team! And I do! GEAUX TIGERS!!!

Chloe, waving the flag I got Neil for Christmas (left); Neil sporting his Christmas presents: hat from Brad and Courtney; shirt from David.

And to add to the satisfaction of Neil's shirt, here's another one for ya. Made me chuckle.

Still makes me laugh, even now. Clever thinkin' on some one's part!

Yep, we're total dorks. It's cool. We had a lot of fun, and made our neighbors laugh.

So, at that rate (that, being the brutal, in-your-face beating we took), the week could only get better, right? :) And guess what? It did. Neil turned on the sprinklers, or, "sprinkles," as Ryan likes to call them, which obviously means we have continued to have gorgeous weather. And the warmer weather must have rubbed off on Neil, because this same week, he signed up for the Survival Mud Run in Lathrop April 21st. Personally, 3.47 miles entailing muddy obstacles sounds miserable, but he's quite excited about it. It's really right up his alley, so I'm sure he'll enjoy it and do great.

The kids have a new obsession: She-Ra and He-Man. Now, with the variety of super hero movies and shows Netflixcheesies out there. Whenever the kids turn on The Secret of the Sword, which is their absolute favorite these days, Neil and I just shake our heads and laugh. I'm sure there was a time when we thought they were super cool - it was 1985, after all - so I guess we can't criticize too much. But it sure is funny.

Saturday Chloe was walking around the house carrying two of her dolls, and informed me that she'd had twins and that their names were Adam and Adora. She and Ryan also kept placing these long foam sticks they have behind them inside their shirts and then pulling them out to fight, as if they were their "sword[s] of protection" and "sword[s] of power."

Ryan has also grown to love and repeat the saying, "By the power of Greyskull!", except Ryan has instead said, "By the power of preschool!" I can't bring myself to correct him. It's too cute. Neil and I are both hoping this obsession with She-Ra and He-Man passes quickly, but we aren't getting our hopes up.

OTHER EVENTS OF THE WEEK:

A painful trip to Costco, where I am certain we broke a record for the most money spent in a single Costco transaction in the history of the Neil and Valeri Andersens.

A Starbucks date with Ryan while my car got an oil change next door.

He shared a couple bites of his cinnamon roll, but that was about the extent of it.

Victory, and a ticket to the NFC Championship!!!!!!!!

So now you can see what I meant when I said the week started off a lot worse than it ended! Yes, LSU lost the BCS Bowl, but the 49ers beat the Saints, earning a place in the NFC Championship! Never did I imagine 2 things: first, that both of our teams would go SO FAR this season, and second, that it would be possible for the worst football game of all time and also one of the best to be played within 6 days of each other. This one was intense like November's LSU/Alabama match, but with much more excitement and charisma. It truly was one of the best football games I've watched. Oh, that final play, when Vernon Davis, bless his sweet heart, caught that winning touchdown pass from Alex Smith. It was impossible to not get emotional watching him in the end zone, then in Coach Harbaugh's arms, crying like a baby. I love seeing the soft and humble side of these big scary players. It's pretty sweet.

Neil was finishing a crazy 32-mile bike ride with some friends when the game started, so he missed the excitement of the first quarter when the Niners scored 2 touchdowns. Just before the game started, I took the kids to the grocery store for a few things and, without fail, every time I'd see someone wearing 49ers gear, I'd say, "Go Niners" loud and clear! Hey, I've got no shame! This season's been a long time coming and I've been a little excited about it! And besides, every single person I said it to smiled at me, many repeating it back, including a scary group of Hispanic guys, who I think were caught off guard by my exuberance and willingness to talk to them. What was even more funny about all this is that every time I'd say, "Go Niners!" (there were a lot of people wearing Niners gear in the store), both Chloe and Ryan would repeat it, so I had my own little army with me, cheering on our team in the middle of SaveMart. I'm sure someday this side of me will embarrass my kids, but for now, I'll gladly encourage their support! :)

I did scare Chloe a few times throughout the game, especially near the end when it got crazy. Neil, Ryan and I were sitting on the couch cheering, clapping and being noisy, while she isolated herself on the floor, pouting and whining that we were being too loud. Ryan, who wasn't the least bit bothered by our enthusiasm, then said, "Chloe needs a nap because she's really freaking out." It was so funny. I did get down on the floor with her several times, explaining why it was so exciting to me and trying to get her pumped. I also apologized for being loud, but told her I couldn't possibly hold back. She was completely over it by the end of the game, and cheering with the rest of us, so I don't think she was traumatized. It was a really fun and exciting game, and I still can't believe we won!

CLASSIC QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

After falling off the bench at the park and having a good loud cry, I held Ryan close and asked if he was okay. He angrily shouted: "I want to stick my tongue at someone!"

And, along those same lines, I should mention here that Ryan's current statement/comeback whenever he's mad is, "I don't like anyone!" Love that kid, even though that's not a very nice thing to say.

After Neil informed Chloe that we were going to go to Costco, she complained, begging to stay home. As soon as she realized that we were not going to leave her home alone and that she was indeed coming, she made one last shot at negotiation with this: "Okay, but if we go, that means you have to bring me to the park!"

Saturday (just before the game), as we were pulling into the grocery store parking lot, Ryan asked if he and Chloe could ride the merry go round (just outside the store). This was after a handful of other requests from both him and Chloe, not to mention endless bouts of whining and complaining. Because I wasn't feeling inclined to let them have anything they wanted, I muttered, "Gosh, you guys ask for everything!" Chloe then chimed in with, "I don't ask for tomatoes very often! Because I don't like them as much as Grandpa Roy!"
Well, I've gotta give her credit for a fast and witty response, however they still did not get to ride the merry go round.

Well, that was quite the lengthy summary, especially for just one week. Sorry, but there was a lot to cover. :) I'll probably sum up the remainder of the month in my next post. Until then...

Celebrating 10 years, and a few other things, too.

2012-02-09T23:33:00.000-08:00

87 years ago today, Neil's Grandpa Don was born.

Happy Birthday, Don! And Geaux Tigers!

73 years ago today, my Grandpa and Grandma Butterfield were married.

Happy Anniversary, you two love birds! Hope you're celebrating well in heaven!

11 years ago today, my best friend, Wendy got married.

Happy Anniversary, guys!

And 10 years ago today, Neil took me on our first date.

First photo ever taken of us - on Valentine's Day, I believe, during our shift at Chevy's. Awesome exposure, I know.

I love the significance of this day. It has always been an extra special one to me, and it's no wonder!

Thinking back to the events of February 9, 2002, here's what I remember:

The 2002 Winter Olympics (in Salt Lake City) began.
I attended Mindy Mickelson's baby shower.
I worked an afternoon shift at Chevy's.
When Neil came to pick me up (sometime after 8pm), he was wearing his green Abercrombie shirt - the same green Abercrombie shirt he still has and wears today. Ironically, Neil also wore this shirt the day Chloe was born, and also the day Ryan was born. Purely coincidental. Needless to say, the shirt is terribly faded and has a few holes. Yet, he continues to wear it without shame.
When we first got into Neil's car and he turned the ignition, the song, "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss started to play. Turns out, Neil had a "date" CD that he'd play in the car whenever he was taking a new lady out on the town. Well, I broke that trend. :) I didn't forget that song, nor did Neil! By default, it became one of our songs, and the day he proposed, he, again, had it cued to start playing when he turned the ignition, on our way to temple square, where he popped the question.
We ate dinner at Guru's in downtown Provo. I had a burrito, I think. We were there with Neil's roommate at the time, Jed, and his date, whom I don't remember at all.
After dinner, we headed to the movie theater to see a 10:00pm showing of Mothman Prophecies. I honestly don't remember much about the movie, as I was focused on other things, like Neil's right hand, which took a hold of my left hand about a quarter of the way in and held onto it until we left the theater. It was an unexpected and bold move on Neil's part, as I didn't feel like we'd really made a strong connection yet. I was flattered nevertheless, with no complaints. After the movie, and while we were walking to our cars, Neil and Jed ran up a grassy hill off the side of the parking lot, and proceeded to roll down it. Not sure if they were trying to show off or if they were just being boys. Probably a combination of both.
When Neil took me home that night, he walked me to the front porch, gave me a hug, and thanked me for coming. He was very polite and gentlemanly, and just made me feel well taken care of. I liked that.

I honestly don't remember many other details, except that I was pretty much smitten. It took Neil another 24 hours before we were on the same wave length, but once we were there, well, that was it. We were Neil and Valeri.

Neil had a long work day today in Roseville, and called me the first chance he got, upon walking to his car at around 4:00pm. One of the first things he said was, "Happy Anniversary of our first date!" For him to continually remember this day - a day few husbands are obligated to remember - means so much to me. It's the day that marks the beginning of us, and that's kind of a big deal. I love it. And I love that it lands on my amazing grandparents' anniversary. What a privilege to share with them such a connection! Sometimes I wonder if they took part in the planning of Neil and me.

I really can't say enough how grateful I am to have crossed paths with Neil ten years ago, and to have somehow convinced him to fall in love with me. He is such a good person, so solid in his beliefs and ambitions, and such a wonderful provider, husband and father. He has always, always put my happiness first, and I've seen it day in and day out for years. We had a really nice time together tonight after the kids went to bed. We talked about those early days, and about how incredible it is that an entire decade has already passed by. We also talked about how fortunate we are to have found each other, and to be living a happy, healthy marriage, even ten whole years later.

Happy Anniversary of the beginning of us!

Flashback Friday

2012-01-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while searching for a picture I know I have but couldn't find of my parents and brother in our front yard the 1988(?) morning it snowed in Vacaville - see previous post, I came across this one of my dad and me, taken in the summer of 1989. Upon discovering it, I was immediately reminded of another picture of my dad with a different little girl, taken last September during my parents' annual visit.

My dad talks all the time about how much Chloe reminds him of me when I was her age. I love that. And I love that he can now experience many of the same joys with Chloe that he experienced with me. They certainly have an unbreakable bond, those two.

When Ryan hopped on my lap and saw this picture, he immediately said, "But where's a picture of me and Grandma Jill!?" Sweet boy, never wanting to leave anyone out. I also might add, Grandma Jill, that Ryan requested your scrambled eggs for dinner tonight!

A musical masterpiece and snow

2012-01-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

"Songs and smells will bring you back to a moment in time more than anything else. It's amazing how much can be conjured with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room." - Emily Giffin

Being the sentimental girl I am, I hold this quote dear to my heart. It's a beautiful concept if you think about it, that a simple piece of music or smell can instantly take you back to a precious moment in time, of which you might not have otherwise been reminded. It happened to me yesterday afternoon, unexpectedly, like usual. I was unloading the dishwasher and Ryan was watching Looney Tunes. A few episodes in was "Rhapsody Rabbit," featuring Bugs Bunny, who plays a concert pianist and performs Franz Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2. The episode was naturally silly, and together Ryan and I giggled from start to finish. Bugs shot the guy in the audience for coughing (some would not find that funny, I suppose), then incorporated boogie woogie, chopsticks and taps into his piano masterpiece, all whilst battling an annoying and equally talented mouse. It wasn't Bugs' silliness or Ryan's giggles that left a lasting impression on me, though both were entertaining. Instead, it was the childhood memory which instantly surfaced upon hearing the music.

When I was eight or nine, my dad took me to see the snow for the very first time. Vacaville never got snow, and the one stinkin' time it did, in 1988, I believe - a whopping inch or two, I was in Palo Alto visiting my grandparents! I remember talking to my mom on the phone that morning and sensing sadness and disappointment for and in behalf of me. There she, my dad and brother were, witnessing what would be a one-time, short-lived winter wonderland outside our front door, while I sat, only 90 miles away, unable to do anything about it. It was a real bummer, and I remember feeling so disappointed. Not long after, my dad, who understood and wanted to make it up to me, suggested that we go up to the mountains and find some snow to play in.

He had recently compiled a cassette tape (hey, it was the 80s) containing some classical masterpieces. Among those he and I could recall were Brahms' Symphony 3, Op. 90 - III, Smetana's Die Moldau (which I learned today my grandma Martha and great aunt Gertrude used to play on the record player when my dad, as a baby, would cry in the night, to lull him back to sleep), Mahler's Symphony 5 - Adagietto, Mahler's Symphony 1, Movement 2 (one of my favorites), and Franz Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 (my absolute favorite). My dad brought the tape along in the car and played it during our two or so hour drive toward Tahoe. I can't tell you which of those masterpieces I'd heard prior to that drive, but what I can tell you is that each time I hear any one of them now, but especially Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody, I'm instantly taken back to the day, more than two decades ago, when I saw snow for the very first time.

I still remember so vividly driving through the sunlit mountain roads, listening to the beautiful music and gazing out the window with anticipation of spotting that first clump of white on the side of the road. We eventually found those clumps, and what a magical sight it was for eight or nine-year-old little me. We parked, hiked around, threw snowballs, possibly made a snow angel or two, and just enjoyed the gorgeous crisp, clean air and stunning views, before hopping back in the car, stopping for Chinese food, and heading home. It was a fun day with my dad, one I've never forgotten, and one with which I will always associate Franz Liszt's musical masterpiece.

You can watch "Rhapsody Rabbit" HERE, though it's not the English version. I think Ryan laughed harder watching this than the original because of the "funny talking."

Curious, helping hands

2012-01-14T10:10:00.000-08:00

Last night, as I was deseeding jalapenos, Ryan climbed onto the counter. Normally such activity is discouraged, and both the kids know this. But he showed such intense (and instantaneous) fascination in what was happening, that I simply couldn't bring myself to put him down.

"Do we like this?" he asked, pointing to the jalapenos.

"Um, not the seeds. They're spicy! But the peppers themselves? Yes, we like those!"

"Does Grandpa Roy like some? Your dad? Does he like some?"

Ryan knows Grandpa Roy likes spicy things, so of course he'd like jalapenos, right? I told him to be sure and ask the next time they talked on the phone. Ryan, now showing more interest in the sharp knife sitting in front of him, simply replied, "Okay."

After "helping" me chop said jalapenos and transferring them to the pan, Ryan watched, from above, to ensure that our spaghetti sauce was cooking just right.

So glad I have my curious kitchen helper to keep my brain sharp and cooking in check.

Week in review (January 1-7)

2012-01-11T10:51:00.000-08:00

WRITTEN SUNDAY, JANUARY 8th.

I've been back from Utah now for one day shy of a week. It's always nice to get away, but man, it sure feels good to be home, too! I also have to say that it was nice getting home and knowing I still had a solid week left of Chloe's break before the normal routine started up again. Even still, I'm not sure I'm ready for the craziness to begin tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, ready or not, here it comes!

First off, here are a few more pictures of Ryan on his first day as a Sunbeam (last Sunday). I snapped these right before Primary began. More on our Utah trip eventually.

Our week was pretty uneventful. The weather was nice, so the kids rode bikes and played outside, and Neil and I got some yard work done. It's looking like we may be turning our sprinklers back on next week, which is just a puzzling concept to us. I guess we're still in the mindset of Coloradans, who have a solid three months before they'll even be thinking about sprinklers. In addition to soaking up some warm, January sunshine, the kids played super heroes with their capes and masks, taking turns playing hero, villain, and victim, which, by the way, was and is absolutely hilarious. They're pretty dramatic. The dialogue they come up with constantly has me giggling to myself. Must be all those old school super hero shows they watch on "Neck-fwix," as Ryan calls it.

Confession: these were actually taken the week of Christmas, but since they so accurately depict what these two look like when they play super heroes, and since I didn't happen to capture them in action this week, I just decided to throw these in. Yes, Ryan is wearing Chloe's mask, and no pants. And his shirt is on backwards (over the top of a pajama top). Stylin'.

Chloe broke in her puppet theater, which I'll blog about in my Christmas post.

And among other things, the kids played legos (a favorite of both), marbles, and trains.

Here's a video Neil took of Ryan playing with his Marbleworks set the other day. Neil is the first to admit that he loves the thing as much as his son does!

Saturday afternoon, we drove to Pleasanton to celebrate a post-Christmas with Scott, Heather and JD. It was comfortable and relaxing, as always.

The kids took turns driving the ATV and loved every minute of it.

Chloe jumped on the indoor trampoline (left) and all three kids played in the shower (right).

Heather is becoming more like a sister to me these days. I love having family close, and I love how our relationship has blossomed. It's strange because she's nine and a half years older than I, and while we've always stayed in touch (hello, we're family!), we've never been in the same stage of life or had much in common. I'm sure she'd agree. But I still remember when she called me to announce she was pregnant with JD, and how fun it was that I'd just barely found out that same week that I was pregnant with Ryan. I guess that was the beginning of our bond - being pregnant at the same time and then delivering our boys just 5 weeks apart. Then, of all places, Neil's job, just before the boys turned two, moved us less than an hour from Heather. Really, who would have even imagined that happening? It's fun. Another perk to having her and Scott close is that I get to see my Uncle Jim and Aunt Karen (who live in Oregon) and come out to visit a couple times a year, as well as my other cousin, Misty (who lives in LA), who also had a baby boy just six days before Heather had JD, and also Tanya, who's in San Diego. It's a true blessing having family close-by, seeing them regularly, and building memories together. It has definitely made the transition of moving here easier.

Today was a lazy Sunday. We were terrible and didn't go to Stake Conference. Ryan had a particularly rough night last night, crying out a handful of times, which made it difficult for me to sleep soundly, and then coming in at 4am requesting to crawl into bed with us, which I naturally said no to (mean mom). Then came a good, long meltdown right there on our floor, followed by getting Ryan settled back down again and, eventually, asleep - on our floor. Then he was back up before 7 and still obviously tired and in need of more sleep. The kids got up and entertained themselves downstairs while Neil and I stayed in bed for another hour or so. Between Neil's back hurting (once he was up) and Ryan's constant meltdowns over anything and everything, we just decided to stay home rather than fight Ryan to sit still for two solid hours. We turned on the NFL playoffs, and enjoyed a quiet Sunday at home. The Broncos beat the Steelers unexpectedly, which was awesome (so happy for Tim Tebow), we had a yummy dinner, and, best of all, the kids were in bed by 7!

Eating apples and edamame with "chopsticks" (aka straws). On Friday night, we cashed in a gift card to a local sushi restaurant here in Ripon (with Richie and Christie, who gave us the gift card for Christmas), and there was some leftover edamame that we brought home. The kids LOVE this stuff and eat it like candy. Chloe was nice enough to let Ryan wear her bracelet while they enjoyed their grub. Again, stylin'.

CLASSIC QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

Me: "Chloe, please go finish your applesauce."
Chloe (groaning): "Why do I have to do EVERYTHING around here!?"
Apparently I ask too much of my six-year-old.

Chloe (while trying to get Ryan to be patient while she put together a toy for him): "Hold your horses, Ryan!"
Ryan: "But I don't have a horse!"
The boy makes a point!

It was a good start to a new year! I can hardly believe we're already into 2012!

April 2011: Easter festivities

2012-01-10T00:54:00.000-08:00

I'm slowly getting through my 2011 pictures. Here's a glimpse into our Easter festivities (yep, 9 months ago).

Chloe's preschool did a fun Easter egg hunt and party the Thursday before Easter. Chloe, as well as the rest of the kids had a blast hunting for eggs, frosting cookies and doing fun crafts. This also happened to be Chloe's last day of preschool since we were out of town almost the entire month of May and therefore pulled Chloe out at the end of April. Because it was her last day, Miss Sheryl let Chloe be the leader walking to and from the egg hunt, among a few other special things. She thought she was pretty hot stuff.

Here's little miss Chloebug with her teachers, Miss Sheryl and Miss Brittney, both of whom she adored and still talks about to this day.

Miss Sheryl lives about a mile from us and attends most of the local events here in Ripon. Since preschool ended, we have bumped into her a handful of times, including Baskin Robbins' Dollar Scoop Tuesday, National Night Out, a Ripon High School football game, and Ripon's Labor Day Balloon Fest. These random meetings have enabled Miss Sheryl and Chloe to maintain a sweet friendship. They've become real pals, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we run into each other again somewhere.

The Easter party was a fun finish to a great (and final) preschool year for Chloe! We were both kind of sad to say goodbye, but also anxious for summer and gearing up for kindergarten!

Saturday, the kids painted eggs.

And on Easter, we did the normal morning routine of finding baskets and eggs, and taking lots of pictures.

After the kids had located their Easter tins/baskets and picked up all the eggs, we headed outside for a few quick pictures (for the purpose of distracting the kids while Neil did a favor for the Easter Bunny and placed the kids' new razor scooter and plasma car in the front room).

As soon as we walked back into the house, there awaited their surprise! They were thrilled with their new rides (and fun treats and goodies).

Following the morning's events, we headed to church and then enjoyed a quiet evening at home.

Sometime the following week, the kids received a small package from Grandpa Roy and Grandma Jill, including bug catchers, which the kids promptly went outside to play with!

The kids also had haircuts, as you can see! It was a fun Easter week all around.

CRAVE Photography's Giveaway

2012-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

Hey, photog friends! CRAVE Photography is doing a pretty awesome giveaway right now. It ends Saturday, January 8th, so hurry over and enter HERE! There are 5 different prizes, including the lens I've been eyeing for the last year and a half!

Happy New Year! I'm a Sunbeam!

2012-01-05T01:03:00.000-08:00

In the words of Ryan Grant himself:

My mom's hopeless. Her blog is so far behind. SHE is so far behind. And yet, life never seems to slow down. It doesn't help, of course, that she's got me to keep her on her toes. Good thing I'm so darn cute! Mom often asks the question, "Why can't there be seven of me?" To be honest, the thought of having seven moms seems like a bit much, but I guess I can see her point. Hopefully she can catch her breath one of these months, and, in the process, get this blog in better (and more current) shape. In the meantime, life goes on, I suppose.

We had a really nice Christmas at home. More on that eventually. My sister's still on break through the end of this week, and she, mom and I just got back from a quick and spontaneous trip to Utah. This is the first trip we've made there where mom hasn't told a soul we were coming (with the exception of the usual, obvious people: Grandpa Roy, Grandma Jill, Uncle D, Great Grandma Martha, Great Aunt Gertrude, and Wendy). It was quite nice, actually, not having a ton on our plates, though I think mom's in trouble with a few people now that it's out in the open that we were there. Oh well. There's always next time.

So, onto more exciting events! Guess what milestone I reached on Sunday? You got it! I became a Sunbeam! Mom and I could hardly believe it, and just as we sat down in Sacrament Meeting, I proudly announced, "I get to go to Primary today!" I wasn't nervous or apprehensive in the least. When Sacrament Meeting was over and it was time to head to Primary, I took Chloe's hand and together we skipped down the hall and down the stairs (we were at Grandma Jill's ward) to the Primary room. Mom sat with me through Sharing and Singing time and I couldn't have done better! The opening song was, "I Love to See the Temple" and I sang every word, loud and clear. Then the other children sang a welcome song to Chloe and me, since we were visitors and all. I sat reverently through all of Singing and Sharing time, and was a very good boy. I even went to my class happily and without hesitation. Mom took a few pictures of me sitting in the Primary room before Sharing time began, but she'll have to share those with you later.

I feel like such a big boy going to Primary! Mom says she can't believe I'm old enough! I suppose it wasn't all that long ago that Chloe was in my same boat. Time really does fly!

My funny children (emphasis on Chloe)

2011-12-13T00:57:00.000-08:00

Chloe and Ryan (but mostly Chloe) had me laughing pretty hard this evening. Neil was working in Sonora until late, so it was just the kids and me. As soon as I announced dinner was ready, Ryan disappeared. I didn't notice where he had gone because I was busy getting food on plates. As I headed to the table and asked Chloe if she'd seen him, she replied,

"He's in timeout."

When I asked why, she shrugged her shoulders and said,

"I don't know. He heard you say dinner was ready and ran straight to the laundry room."

I had to laugh, and let me explain why. Lately, getting Ryan to eat has been gosh darn impossible. In his own defense, he's had a bad case of the runs for the last five days straight and has been on a liquid diet minus a few bites a day of this or that. But aside from that, eating issues have been present for months. Generally when we sit down at the table he's already fussing, "it's too hot!" or "but I'm not hungry." We coax him, humor him, reverse psychology him, whatever it takes to get him to try a bite and realize that I'm not such a bad cook. What we've done in the past when he's refused to eat is sent him straight to bed. Well now when we're sitting down to eat he'll often automatically say, "I want to take a nap instead." But that's just too easy of an out, and frankly, if it's only 5:30 in the afternoon, that's the last thing I want him doing! So we've changed our strategy a bit and now send him to timeout for however long it takes before he's willing to eat.

Tonight, Ryan was a step ahead of me. I'm still laughing at the fact that he put HIMSELF in timeout. I tried and I tried and I tried to get him to eat, but he would have nothing to do with it. Even after several attempts, more timeout and a spanking to finish it off, he just wouldn't give in. He was in bed by 6:25, which is not too early (unlike 5:30). Thankfully, due to the fact that he doesn't nap anymore (or at least regularly), I can get away with putting him to bed as early as 6:30 and he'll sleep a solid twelve hours, which is perfect since I get up at 7 every day. Perhaps we'll have better luck with food intake tomorrow.

So onto Chloe. Amidst fighting Ryan to eat his potato soup and green salad, Chloe chattered away like always, half the time not even noticing that I was preoccupied with her brother. One thing she said did catch my attention though, and I just had to share it.

Chloe: "I can't wait to go up to heaven and see Heavenly Father and Jesus."

Me (wondering where on earth this came from): "Why are you excited to see them?"

Chloe: "It's gonna be fun! They love me so much and I'm just gonna get up there and jump on them and hug them!"

After a slight pause, she went on: "But when you die, your body stays on earth, right? Like a statue? But the rest of you goes up?!"

Another slight pause (while contemplating).."So that's called your spirit! So your spirit goes up to heaven!"

While I found it interesting that Chloe would bring up such a deep and random topic at the dinner table, I was pleased to see that she is beginning to grasp the basics of our mortality and the purpose behind it. Love the way her smart little mind thinks.

After dinner, Chloe and I were practicing her reading. Each week she's sent home with a new set of words that all end with the same few letters. They're called "word families," I believe. Anyway, this week she's working on the "ot" family. Well, she whizzed right through the packet of words tonight and I was so impressed, as always. I swear the kid's smarter than I am. At one point, in addition to reading the words, she started tacking on an example of how the word could be used. This is how it went, and again, this is ALL her:

"Lot! ...like a parking lot!"
"Not! ...like 'I'm not going to paint that!"
"Pot! ...like 'I'm cookin' something up in a pot!'"

This one's hands down my favorite:

"Rot! ...like 'rat' in a British accent!'"

The final word in the packet was "Tot," to which she said, while giggling, "I thought that was 'toot' at first!" Then a few seconds later, "How do you spell 'toot' anyway?"

Let me give you just a bit of background before I share the final conversation of the night (which, I should warn you contains a private body part name). A few weeks ago, Chloe asked Neil what he does for work. He explained that he watches a lot of surgeries and helps the doctors to know how to use the various instruments that he provides for the surgeries. In explaining what a surgery is, Neil referenced my c-section and showed Chloe my scar. When we told her that that's where she and Ryan came out of my body, she naturally then wondered if all babies were born that way. We answered honestly and told her that while many babies come out that way, most babies come out of their mommy's vagina. Hey, we are all about using anatomically correct terminology. Anyway, here's what Chloe said to me as I was tucking her into bed:

Chloe: "I wish I had a baby sister. And a daughter."

Me: "Well, you've got quite a while to go before you have a daughter!"

Chloe: "I know. But I don't want to have them cut my stomach open to get her out. I want her to come out of my vagina."

I chuckled and kissed her goodnight. Love her honest, blunt innocence. May it continue to blossom!

It is currently 12:54am. Guess who just wandered downstairs? A certain grumpy boy who refused to eat his dinner. And what's the first thing he said?

"I'm hungry!"

The second thing? "Can I just snuggle with you for a few seconds?"

Guess I'd better get to it. Goodnight, everyone.

The rest of Fall break

2011-12-10T00:56:00.000-08:00

Well I had good intentions with my Fall break posts. Obviously those intentions didn't mean squat though because Fall break was nearly two months ago and I didn't make it past Day 3. That said, let me quickly summarize the rest of the week.

The kids went to the dentist! This was Ryan's second time having his teeth cleaned. The first time he had it done was in April, and it was after watching Chloe have her teeth cleaned and deciding that he wanted to give it a try too. Both kids did awesome and neither had cavities! Always good news!

After their cleanings, the office staff took the kids back to a special room containing a treasure box where each was able to choose something to take home. Um, can we say generous? Chloe left with a 20-pack of markers and Ryan with a race car! They don't mess around! Between their treasures and goodie bags containing new toothbrushes, floss, stickers and a pencil, they were in absolute heaven.

On our way home we stopped at the mall to cash in a coupon I had for a free candle at the new Yankee Candle store. Naturally everyone was hungry by this point, so what did the kids get? A cinnamon/sugar pretzel! Yep, that was their lunch - straight from the dentist's office! Where's my super mom award?

We took it easy at home that afternoon. Ryan astonished us by taking a nap, and Chloe played quietly in her room. At one point she did a puppet show for me...

...which prompted a Christmas present idea. That's right. Neil's building Chloe a puppet theater for Christmas! She loves doing puppet shows or any kind of performing for that matter, so this is really perfect. We went to IKEA today and bought some new hand puppets to go with the theater. I can't wait to see the look on her face come Christmas morning!

As soon as Ryan woke up he wandered into Chloe's room to see what we were up to. I took a few more pictures.

Here they are watching Chloe's puppet show I'd just recorded a few minutes earlier.

I miss lazy afternoons like these. We don't have them too often anymore.

The following day, the kids made an Autumn window display. It was super easy and a huge hit! Original source: HERE. I'm pretty sure this will become an annual Fall craft tradition at our house. We all loved it. In fact, it's still up on our door! Probably time to take it down.

Who knew coffee filters and water colors could be so entertaining?

While we had originally planned to cut out leaves, Chloe decided snowflakes would be fun as well!

Waiting for the painted coffee filters to finish drying.

The finished product!

It was a fun-filled week. I enjoyed not having to set an alarm and just being on a more relaxed schedule. The kids liked it too. Less stress, and more time to play. Now with the Christmas season upon us, we have another break just around the corner. I can hardly wait!

Funny kids and a mom who doesn't do everything...

2011-12-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

Oh, life. Why art thou so crazy? Truly, I am shocked by how much busier things have become since Chloe started school. I was so naive to think it would slow down just having one child at home with me during the day. Now I laugh at my four-month-ago-self. Then I look at moms of multiple children and wonder, "How?!" How do they do it? How do they keep up with dentist appointments, maintain a clean house, volunteer at school, build and maintain relationships with each child and ensure their individual needs are met, enforce scripture study and FHE, keep up with church callings, spend quality time with their husbands, exercise, keep milk in the fridge and meals on the table, shower daily? It especially shocks me when these moms, on top of appearing to have it all together, also manage to always look cute. They say you just find your groove. Well (chuckle, chuckle), I'm still looking for mine, and it's likely to take me the rest of the school year to find it.

There's no question I am my own worst critic. I set high (and often unrealistic) expectations for myself, busting my rear to fulfill them. And perhaps to some, I appear to have it together. Some days I do! But more often than not I fall short, and sometimes, in staying on top of one thing, completely neglect something else. It's hard to find that constant balance - that "groove." Recently I stumbled upon this quote.

What a basic yet profound statement! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm trying to do too much. Then came another epiphany. These moms, who have found their "groove," don't do it all. They focus on the important things and set aside the not-so-important things, even if that means making sacrifices and stumbling along the way. They know their limits and don't try to cram in what they know they can't handle. I think it's when I accept that I can't do all the things I thought I could or wanted to do AND, most importantly, that that's okay, my mind is suddenly clearer, my heart lighter and my life simpler. It reminds me a lot of this talk by Dallin H. Oaks. I am still learning how to manage my time and responsibilities, but slowly, in changing my focus and pondering the truly important things, I'm getting there.

Speaking of important things, here's a glimpse into the recent madness of our lives. Oh, the things they come up with.

This morning, in attempt to convince me that he should clip my fingernails, Ryan said, "If you let me, I'll give you a stickerrrrrr!" (big emphasis on "sticker," probably in an attempt to be more persuasive)

Also this morning, while doing his bathroom business, Ryan said, "My tummy hurts." I apologized and stood with him while he continued to look adorable sitting on the toilet. Then he said, "I need a band-aid." I asked him where he needed a band-aid, expecting him to point to his finger or somewhere. Instead he said, "On my tummy." Poor kid. He seems to be feeling better now and has not asked for another band-aid.

Recently (okay, last month), after having lost my voice due to a nasty cold, I was reading Chloe a bedtime story. At one point she interrupted me to say, "Mommy, I think your other voice is prettier."

And here's an example of how Chloe's negotiation tactics have rubbed off on her brother. The other week while in the car just after picking Chloe up from school, she proceeded to grab an apple slice out of her unfinished lunch pail.

Ryan: "Can I have an apple?"
Chloe: "Yeah, you can have one. But just one, okay?"
Ryan: "How 'bout five?"

Here are some of the words exchanged during a recent Sunday dinner.

Ryan: "Hey, I have a big idea! Let's turn the lights out and then use a flashlight to see!"
Chloe (raising her hand): "I'm gonna use a bone in my eyeball to see! Bahahaahahah!"
Chloe was laughing hysterically at herself, which naturally prompted her brother to do the same. A few minutes later, completely out of the blue, Ryan asked, "Can I be Superman for Christmas?"

Then finally, after telling the kids they could each have a popsicle if they finished their dinner, Chloe, while shaking her head and looking down at her food, said, "Here goes!"

I can't say enough how much I adore being a mother. Sometimes I miss the easier days of having one child to care for - a child who was not old enough to be in school, and who just hung out with me at home each day. There are certainly happy moments from that simple time in my life which I'll never forget and always cherish. But even with how chaotic, exhausting and sometimes out-of-control my life has become these recent months, I wouldn't change any of it. It's been just another stepping stone toward learning to do away with the less important so I can focus on the most important.

Ryan's stats and heart

2011-12-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

Ryan had his well check-up on the 16th. He was a crack-up to say the least, grabbing the attention (and adoration) of many in the short span of 30 minutes we were at the doctor's office. What can I say? The boy's a charmer. Always has been.

It was quite the in-depth check-up, including an eye exam and hearing test and NOT including shots, which we were all happy about. During the eye exam the nurse had me hold one hand over one eye while Ryan identified the various objects on the wall. It was so cute listening to him say, "That's a boat!," "That's a moon!," and "That's a dar!" (star). When he wasn't sure of something (like a letter - he doesn't have them all straight just yet), he'd simply say, "I don't know." Dr. Daley, who was sitting in his office just around the corner from where Ryan stood in the hallway chuckled a few times, which prompted us to do the same. Cute kid.

Ryan weighs a whopping 28 pounds, which puts him in the 27th percentile for weight, and he measures 3 feet 1 inch, which puts him in the 68th percentile for height.

During his physical, Dr. Daley spent a considerable amount of time listening to Ryan's heart. I found it a bit strange at first but wasn't really concerned until I noticed him sliding the stethoscope over the same area of his chest a third time. Turns out he had detected a heart murmur, which Ryan did not have at last year's well check-up. Dr. Daley reassured me that it probably wasn't serious but definitely felt Ryan should be seen by a cardiologist. I tried not to worry too much, but let's face it. Any potential abnormality or problem having to do with your child's heart is naturally going to create some level of concern. A couple days later I got a call from the cardiologist and we scheduled Ryan's appointment for the 29th, which was last Tuesday.

Here's our boy in the exam room entertaining himself while waiting for Dr. Gratian. Initially the disposable gown, which the nurse referred to as a "super hero cape" was really cool, but quickly lost its appeal as soon as Ryan noticed the spongy letters puzzle on the floor.

Dr. Gratian listened to Ryan's heart and determined that there were two murmurs but said an EKG and ultrasound were necessary to determine whether or not they were problematic. Ryan was so good during the tests and didn't complain or put up a fight once. I was proud of him. Shortly after we were done, Dr. Gratian came back in reporting that the murmurs were innocent and of no concern. It was a relief to hear good news. Hopefully there's never again a need to go see a pediatric cardiologist. Once is enough for me. On our way home, while at the grocery store, I let Ryan pick out a donut as his reward for awesome behavior.

He was grateful for the donut, and I was (and am) grateful for a strong and healthy boy (heart and all)!

Turkey trot, turkey bowl and just plain turkey...

2011-11-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, my friend, Misty invited me to run the Modesto Turkey Trot with her. It's a 5k run/walk that Modesto Junior College hosts each year on Thanksgiving. Without hesitation I signed up, thinking it was the perfect solution to getting my derriere in gear since lately I have been a less-than-dedicated runner.

There was a mix up with the time, and until Tuesday, I had 8am in my head. It seemed perfect, allowing Neil enough time to bring the kids and cheer me on before heading to his "turkey bowl" at 9. Unfortunately I learned on Tuesday that the race didn't actually begin until 9:30! Seriously?! I know Neil would have dropped football to come watch me if I'd asked him to, but I couldn't bring myself to deny him the enjoyment of getting dirty on the field with his boys. After all, it's something he looks forward to annually,and considering the events of last year's game, I felt that he was especially deserving of a happy experience this go around.

Here I am on the porch, ready to rock 'n roll in my cheesy shirt. Initially I was regretful about having paid $5 for the silly thing, but Neil, who always looks on the bright side pointed out that it was my first race, therefore the shirt was an absolute necessity. :) Notice Ryan representin' my Niners. Too bad they didn't deliver that afternoon.

The start of the race was crazy chaos, and Misty and I were about trampled. Things quickly thinned out as several people ran ahead of us and several fell behind. We kept a good pace for the first two miles and I felt surprisingly energized. I think we carried on a full conversation for at least the first mile and a half, which I never thought I could do. Around mile 2.3 I started to feel like I might die, but a slight burst of energy (and I mean slight) hit me around 2.8 and I was okay until the final stretch when it all became mind over matter. Even seeing the finish line didn't push me to go faster like I thought it would. By that point my legs felt so weak and jiggly, that all I could do was tell myself to keep going. I had to laugh when I crossed the finish line and saw the clock. Going into this I had both a hope and a goal in mind. My hope wasn't realistic and very unlikely, but my goal was within reason and very possible. Well, as expected, I did not fulfill my hope. But I did reach my goal with about 20 seconds to spare. And that was good enough for me. I checked the results page the following morning but didn't see my name anywhere, so I'm wondering if my number was covered up as I crossed the finish line and the camera therefore couldn't identify me. Oh well. 3.1 miles really isn't far at all, and compared to you crazy marathoners who read my blog, I'm sure the above paragraph sounds pretty pitiful. Nevertheless, I'm really proud of myself and would definitely be interested in doing another race in the future. I'm by no means pumped to try for even a half marathon, but a 10k doesn't sound too unreasonable.

Here we are after the race, looking oh-so-gorgeous! We ran side by side the entire way. I loved having Misty with me. She was such a great distraction and truly made it go by so much faster than if I'd ran it alone. I think I may be in the beginning stages of understanding the concept of a running buddy. I still prefer doing it solo, but I am definitely open to running with Misty again any time! She actually did this 5k last Thanksgiving, 5 months pregnant. What a girl!

When I got home I ran next door to relieve my neighbor, Christie, who had my kids. Within twenty minutes Neil and Richie got home from their turkey bowl. And I am pleased to announce there were no broken fingers this year! From what they said it was an awesome turn out. They had four teams of eight with two games going at a time. Richie's team won two games, including the championship, so he earned a trophy. Neil's team, on the other hand, won one game and did not earn a trophy. Luckily, Richie was nice enough to allow Neil to be in the picture. :)

Neil was so quick to take off his obnoxiously bright yellow knee high socks, claiming they were soaking wet (boohoo), that I was unable to get a picture. It's really too bad because they were the epitome of picture worthy, and easily the same pair of socks he's worn to every turkey bowl for the last ten years at least, so you can imagine the magnificence of which I speak. In place of the hideous(ly awesome) socks are Neil's (crap) slippers, which are covered in paint and falling apart. Not quite as classy but close. Richie was sporting his wife's girly slippers, and literally had just taken his shoes off and slipped these on when I asked to take their picture. While it all seemed like a pure coincidence I'm now wondering if they planned it out this way beforehand.

It was a really nice (and active) Thanksgiving morning. I am thankful for great friends who made it even more fun for both Neil and me. We have been very fortunate in the friend department since moving to Ripon.

Early that same afternoon, we headed over to the Ivers', a family we know from church. Tammy is the second counselor in the Young Women's presidency and so we work closely together in our callings. She invited us last minute and while I was prepared to cook our own little feast at home, we accepted with gratitude. We had a nice time, ate well and hung around until halftime of the 49ers game. On our way home we stopped at Toby and Tami's (also very last minute) and ate pie while the kids played for a few minutes. It was a great day from start to finish.

In keeping with the Thanksgiving spirit, I asked each of the kids to tell me what they were thankful for. Chloe said, "I'm thankful for flowers, my blanket, my family and my whole house!" Ryan said, simply, "Elephants!" So profound. My silly, sweet children. I love them to the moon and back times infinity.

They were watching a movie together yesterday morning and I suddenly caught them cuddling and had to capture it. Naturally once they saw the camera the calm and sweet turned to rowdy and silly.

"Gratitude can transform common days into Thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." - William Arthur Ward

It has been a rewarding experience this month taking more time than usual to ponder the many reasons I am thankful. It has been humbling to recognize that the things that make me the happiest often seem "routine" and "ordinary," but truly are the biggest, most significant things. Love my life, and am so thankful for it. Happy Thanksgiving!

Ryan turns three!

2011-11-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

Ryan turned "fwee!" on the 9th of this month. What a perfect day, spent with and reminiscing about my sweet little boy. The morning prior when Neil asked him, "Is tomorrow your birthday?" Ryan said, "Yep! And I want green cupcakes!" The birthday boy kicked things off just right with the birthday morning ritual of racing through balloons on his bedroom floor and streamers in his doorway - a tradition we started a few years ago.

This was actually taken the night before just after I'd blown up the balloons and hung the streamers. He remained sound asleep while I snuck around his room doing my mommy birthday duties.

Sooo happy was he!

After breakfast, dropping Chloe off at school, and "helping" me vacuum out my car, I asked Ryan what he wanted to do for his birthday. Naturally, he said, "Go to McDonald's." That's always what he wants to do. When asked which friend he'd like to take, he said, "Grandma Jill!" When I told him that, as honored as she'd be to accompany him on a play date to McDonald's that she was a little too far away and that he'd need to choose a more local friend, he said, "Umm, how 'bout Josh!?" Well, the birthday boy got his wish. Lunch and playtime at McDonald's with the second pal of his choice!

Can you tell they both had chocolate milk with their happy meals?

Every time I'd ask Ryan how old he was he'd say, "four!" and hold up four fingers. Silly kid.

Not long after we finished our lunch, it was time to pick up Chloe from school. When we got home, I somehow convinced Ryan to take a nap so that he'd be rested and happy for birthday festivities later that evening, and also so I could make his cake! Success! He got up from his nap just as I was finishing. We ordered a Round Table pizza, and shortly thereafter, our next door neighbors, Richie, Christie, Ariana and Gabby showed up bearing gifts and waiting to celebrate with us. We sang to the birthday boy, helped him blow out his candles, ate cake and watched him open gifts.

Shortly after Ryan suggested green cupcakes for his birthday, he changed his mind to chocolate cake. Done! I made a simple bundt cake with drizzled frosting. The "red" turned out to be more of an orangy-pink, but I ran out of red food coloring along the way. Spider-man was from Josh. Ryan loved it, though if he'd had his choice I'm sure Superman would have been atop that cake. We searched and searched for a Superman figurine with no luck. Spider-man did just fine though, and Ryan is still loving him.

So many presents! Where to begin...

Opening the gift of the night.

So just a little background on that there cape. A while back, after observing the kids using dish towels as super hero capes, playing "hero" and "victim," and watching plenty of old Superman and Spider-man episodes on Netflix, I decided that handmade super hero capes would make great birthday presents for both kids. I immediately knew what I wanted them to look like and found some inspiration online, then got to work. Neil, who had planned to help me, ended up sewing the actual capes because everything else (ie, cutting out letters and circles, stitching them together and to the capes and making the masks) took waaay longer than either of us anticipated. It was all pretty easy but surprisingly time-consuming. Neil and I were up until 2:45am the night before Ryan's birthday. It was all worth it though when we saw the excitement in Ryan's eyes upon pulling his cape and mask out of the bag.

Pausing for a moment of silence before heading off to save the world.

More fun being had.

Chloe was so excited to get Ryan Buzz Lightyear for his birthday. Last year she got him Woody, so it only made sense. He was very happy with his gifts and his special day all around. He also informed me at the end of the night that next year he wants a dinosaur birthday party! Gifts from Grandpas and Grandmas showed up over the weekend and he was thrilled to get to do the presents thing all over again! Here he is showing off two of Grandpa David and Grandma Susie's presents.

What a great football season this has been for us!! Go Niners and Geaux Tigers!!

And here's a cute outfit from Grandpa Roy and Grandma Jill, which he wore to church on Sunday!

You guys sure have good taste! Thank you for your contributions to a very successful third birthday! Ryan seemed very pleased. He is such a joyful little boy, and I could never imagine life without him. I have lots more to share, including Ryan's birthday interview, his well-check up stats and photos and other updates.

Memory lane

2011-10-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight I took a bittersweet stroll down memory lane. Chloe is the "Star Student of the Week" at school starting tomorrow, and last Thursday she brought home a packet of pages to be completed for the star student wall. A few of them required photographs of various things like family, a pet, Chloe as a baby, etc., so naturally the old box of photos came out. I also grabbed the CD containing the website I maintained for Chloe the first two years of her life, since not all of those photos were in the box. Oh my gosh. I wanted to cry. I know that almost six years have passed since she came into our lives, but how is it really possible? Looking at all the sweet photos of when she was so, so small, I can hardly even remember her that way. Even looking at Ryan, who tomorrow will be to-the-day the EXACT age Chloe was when he was born, I don't remember her ever being as little or young as he is.

2 months old and already so spirited!

I had to pat myself on the back for my efficiency in and commitment to documenting every little detail of Chloe's first two years. I wrote detailed monthly updates and several in between, and took a million pictures, even back then before I had my "nice" camera. Memories came flooding into my mind tonight as I looked and read, and I was just overcome with happiness. I am so grateful I had the discipline to stay on top of journaling as things were happening and as Chloe was changing. I wouldn't have remember even a quarter of it had it not been written down.

Poor Ryan doesn't have nearly as much documented as Chloe does, but I suppose that's to be expected after the first child. Thankfully he's a boy and probably won't care anyway when he's older. And he does have a heck of a lot more good quality baby pictures than his sister! I honestly don't even remember the last time I wrote an official update about Ryan. I don't like that at all because it isn't like me to let things like this go for that long, but I am at least comforted to know I have a nearly four page word document saved on my desktop, basically summarizing the last year of milestones, quotes and sweet things about him. Maybe I'll actually get around to formulating it all into a blog post before his birthday in nine days.

Between tonight and just this time of year in general, I am feeling majorly nostalgic and tender of heart. I am so grateful for my children and for the many joys they've brought into my life, then and now. It's such a neat thing to have something like a photograph or journal entry to remember those special moments by because they really do go fast and are so easily forgotten otherwise.

Day 3: Count Chocula, the park and more paint

2011-10-29T01:28:00.000-07:00

Day 3 was another fun one. We kept busy but weren't on a schedule, which was perfect. The kids got up like normal, stumbled down the stairs in their jammies and headed straight for the pantry in search of food. On this particular morning, they were presented with a new breakfast option! That's right! One of the treats I snuck in the cart at Target the day prior was a box of Count Chocula, a cereal only available during the Halloween season, which Neil had recently mentioned remembering and loving as a kid. Chloe and Ryan were so intrigued by this mysterious box and eager to try it out.

And guess what? They both approved!

Shortly after breakfast, my friend, Janea invited us and a couple other friends to meet at the park. Since it was a beautiful day and we had nothing to do, it was a no-brainer. So a couple hours later, we packed a lunch and headed to Stouffer park. We were there for a solid two and a half hours, possibly longer. The kids played on the playground together, took occasional bites of their lunch and even tossed a frisbee around. They had fun, and I enjoyed a nice visit with Janea and Misty.

When we got home, we headed right back outside to find some leaves for "Day 3's activity." Then we came inside and proceeded to make "leaf people." Chloe was excited about it, but Ryan showed no interest, and instead, painted this picture.

Chloe was initially excited by the idea of incorporating leaves into her creation, but quickly grew frustrated when the leaves weren't sticking well to the paper. She did manage to finish one "leaf person," but then moved onto something else.

She was definitely more proud of this one right here! I love all the colors and detail.

Another fun day! And best of all, both kids went to bed early and without a fight!

Day 2: Fall Handprint Trees

2011-10-25T14:54:00.000-07:00

Day 2's morning and early afternoon consisted of cleaning and errand running. Not too exciting or festive. I kept promising the kids that if they were good and did what I asked that we would do a fun craft activity involving messy hands after ballet. I'm not sure they kept their end of the bargain, but they did try. After lunch we headed out the door to run errands, the last of which included a trip to Target. After grabbing what we needed there, we rushed to ballet. After that, we went to Qdoba with Tami, Misty, Lorilee and their girls (all of whom are in Chloe's ballet class - still need to blog about that!). Tami's husband, Toby and Neil work together. Toby's in trauma and Neil spine, but over the last few weeks Neil has been helping out the trauma team due to another employee going on unexpected medical leave. Needless to say, we've seen a lot less of him lately, and "Day 2" was no exception. Because he wasn't going to be home until late, we joined the girls for dinner and by the time we got home it was close to 6. Chloe, who had not forgotten about the promised activity of the day, was nagging me like crazy all the way home, so eager to get started, that upon pulling into the garage, she jumped out of the car and yanked all the groceries out of the trunk herself!

Not two minutes after walking through the door, both kids were sitting at the table, decked out in their Ikea art smocks. While I really wanted to get things put away and just have a moment to sit before diving into a new task, I felt bad making the kids wait any longer. And so the Target bags sat, and out came to the paint!

The finished products!

These cute little handprint trees were inspired by this. They didn't turn out quite the same but I suppose that's what makes such creations unique and special. About five minutes after Chloe had finished hers, Ryan decided it was missing something, and proceeded to apply a few strokes of purple paint. Thankfully I snapped the above picture of her holding the original masterpiece prior to its demolition.

While Chloe was displeased (I would be too!!), she quickly snapped out of it as she had already moved on to another picture containing happy faces. After that she drew an alien with three eyes, four arms and four ears! Such a creative little thing she is!

Ryan also came up with a couple other creations, and while I had to closely monitor to ensure he was limiting his brush strokes to paper, I think we all had a really good time.

Day 3 is in the works, so stay tuned!

Beautiful Heartbreak

2011-10-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

I saw a link to this video on Facebook this morning and was deeply touched. I'm sure part of it stems from seeing Hilary Weeks and Mariama Kallon at Time Out For Women in March. But aside from those connections, this song really spoke to me. It conveys many truths about trials and how they can actually become some of life's greatest blessings. Beautiful words; beautiful voice; beautiful women. Love it all. I needed this today.

To read about my TOFW experience, including Hilary's and Mariama's words of inspiration, go here and here.

The calm before the storm

2011-10-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep, so here I am. What's ironic is that I'm utterly exhausted, but my mind is on overload and I just can't seem to find the "off" switch. It dawned on me today that Halloween is one week from tomorrow. What? My brother's birthday, which was two days ago, totally crept up on me, too. I knew it was on Friday, but even on Thursday, Friday, the 21st seemed at least a week away. And yet, it was only a day away! Lately, just in general, I've felt as though I'm just skidding by, rushing from one thing to the next, feeling relieved that I've gotten one task behind me only to realize I have four more waiting for me. There is always laundry to be folded, sticky floors to be wiped, a grocery list to be checked off, a bill to be paid, an appointment to be made, and an "owie" to be bandaged. Meanwhile all the stuff I want to be working on like my blog, Lake Powell pictures, last summer's (as in a year ago) Utah trip pictures, even just laying on the couch for 25 minutes keeps getting pushed further and further aside. With Chloe starting school in August I thought life would get less hectic, but it's actually become the opposite. I was so relieved for Fall break, both for the sake of "the break" itself and, much more so, Chloe being around. And yet it felt more like a matter of hours, not days. It truly amazes me just how quickly the time is passing. How is it nearly the end of October already? And how are we a full month into Fall? And when is it going to actually start feeling like Fall? On Saturday we took a bike ride to the park around 3pm. I don't know why I bothered putting a jacket on. Perhaps I was subconsciously hoping it would be cool outside. Of course it wasn't cool. Not even remotely. It's amazing to live in a climate where 85 degrees on a mid-October afternoon is the norm. Meanwhile Colorado Springs got their first snow of the season two weekends ago. Oh, bother. Maybe by Christmas it will start to feel like Fall around here.

Wow, talk about a long, jumbled paragraph! Sorta represents how I've been feeling lately! While we're on the subject, here's the chaos I have to look forward to in the coming weeks:

October 31st: Halloween. This will entail finishing putting together costumes, photographing Chloe's classroom Halloween party, and all the other Halloween jazz.
October 31st-November 4th: Chloe is "Star Student of the Week." This means she and I will be putting together a display of some kind for the "Star Student of the Week" wall (most likely photos of her and her family, drawings or other art projects she might like to share as well as any other information about her), and providing 5 days worth of snacks for 29 kids.
November 9th: Ryan's 3rd birthday. Neil and I made a decision this year that the kids would have parties every other year on their even birthdays. This way I'll only have one birthday party to plan each year. Maybe that's harsh, but it is what it is. It's what I can handle and it's what I can afford. Perhaps if the kids' birthdays were spaced out a little further, and not BOTH landing a short month before Christmas, I'd have a slightly different view. But I think it's fair. And aside from that, having a party every year is not necessary to making a birthday special. There are so many other fun things you can do as a family that are simple and inexpensive. Last year on Chloe's birthday I took her to see Toy Story 3 in the dollar theater and she thought it was the greatest thing ever. The guy at the concession counter even gave us free popcorn and drinks in honor of the special occasion. Okay, sorry. I'm getting off track here. So there will NOT be a party for Ryan this year, however, there are still birthday plans to be made such as gift ideas, celebration planning, and coordinating clothes for birthday photos. The latter of the three, in my opinion, gives me the biggest headache. But once I find that perfect outfit, I'll be glad I went to the trouble of searching.
November 17th: Chloe's 6th birthday. Since this is an even birthday, Chloe will be having a party. While I am looking forward to it, I'm also stressing about planning and such. She wants a super girl themed party, and I really want to make both her and Ryan super hero capes. It's their favorite thing to play together these days, and I'm afraid dish towels will only do for so long. :) They actually make them work quite well, but I know they will absolutely love having capes with their initial embroidered on the back, especially being homemade from their mama. So that's on my to-do list for the two of them. Aside from that, there's of course the party planning, classroom treat planning, and, again, searching for that perfect outfit. I really want to take some nice pictures of both of the kids this year. I didn't even end up doing birthday pictures last year because I was in such a funk from our recent move and having terrible back pain. I feel bad but I figure they have more candid-every-day shots than they'll ever know what to do with, so they can't complain too much. :)
Mid-November: Young Women in Excellence. This is an annual program the young women leaders put together for the 12-17 year old girls at church. Luckily there are seven leaders to divide up the work, but there will still be something of significance for each one of us. Just one more thing to add to the list. Thankfully I love my calling, so it will be an enjoyable task. And as of today, I now have eight Beehives. We had one come in last Sunday and another this Sunday. It's fun having such a big group, and I really couldn't ask for better girls.
November 24th: Thanksgiving. At this point we have no plans, and I love it. I would be perfectly content keeping it that way and enjoying a simple, quiet dinner at home, but also fine going somewhere. We'll see. Either way, I will be making it a point to remind Neil to watch his fingers if he decides to play football with the boys!
November 25th: Black Friday. Last year is the first I'd ever partaken of the Black Friday craze. I set my alarm for 4am and was standing outside Target's doors at 4:30. I got what I'd planned to, but I'm still not sure if it was worth all the trouble (or lack of sleep). I'm still undecided on my plans for this year. I'll just have to see what kind of deals are out there and how tired I'm feeling the night before. :)
December 25th: Christmas. I'm sure there are plenty of things that will fill up my calendar between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but as of right now it looks fairly manageable. As for Christmas plans, we are going to just stick around here. Neil and I really like the idea of staying home for Christmas each year so that we can build traditions and memories as our own family. That certainly doesn't mean we're opposed to travel during the Christmas season. At this point, however, we don't have any plans of doing so. As for gifts, I really like the idea of doing something homemade for the kids. You really can't beat last year's "homemade" gifts. Neil definitely rocked it. Er, I mean, Santa! I'm thinking of making the kids something like a tent/reading nook or a simple puppet show theater. It's all based on what the kids are loving these days, so we'll continue to see what they enjoy, but those are two thoughts right now.

None of this, of course, includes Chloe's ballet lessons every Tuesday afternoon, or her Christmas singing program practices, which begin the first week in November, or piano lessons, which will probably start about that same time, not to mention mutual activities and lessons, playgroups and all the other daily and weekly things I get to stay on top of. And with some recent changes to Neil's job, plus a new calling, which I'll write about in a separate post, we've been seeing a lot less of him.

Well this has turned out to be much longer than I'd expected or planned. I'd better get back to bed. Tomorrow is the beginning of another week, and while I don't have too much on my calendar as of yet, I know the storm is about to hit. Thankfully my house is relatively clean and picked up (always a great way to start off a new week). I'm really excited about the upcoming Holidays, despite what may have seemed like a whole lot of complaining. Sometimes I think of how nice it would be if the kids' birthdays weren't BOTH in November. I mean, truly, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are enough to make any mom's life crazy, let alone throwing two birthdays into the mix! It's okay though. I'm lucky to have two healthy kids, and all I can do is laugh about them being so close together. At least Ryan wasn't born on his due date, which would have put their birthdays a single day apart. Ha! How would that be?

As my mom recently said, after rattling off her many 'To-Dos,' "HOW does it happen that I get so far behind? Guess I just have a rich, full life!" I'd much rather have a "rich, full life!" that's hectic and sometimes overwhelming than a dull, boring life that requires little of me. Thanks, Mom, for once again putting things into perspective for me.

Happy Birthday, Uncle D!

2011-10-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

A special message for the birthday boy, from your favorite niece and nephew!

Love you, big brother, and hope today has been great! XO.

Fall break: Day 1

2011-10-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

Chloe is on Fall break this week. I have really been looking forward to this for a while. After all, I don't get to hang out with my girl nearly as often as I used to. Now tack on the joys of no alarm to set, no morning and afternoon school grounds traffic to deal with, no homework to help with, no lunches to prepare, and no library books to remember, and I'd say it's been a pretty nice week! I put together a list of fun activities and crafts to occupy the kids during the week and have so far managed to incorporate one thing into each day's agenda. Here's what we did on Day 1 (Monday).

Day 1: Dell 'Osso Farms

This is the second year we've been able to enjoy this pumpkin patch (here's last year's outing). It's about 20 minutes from our house and a really great place to go with your family to get into the spirit of Fall. They truly offer everything a pumpkin patch should. This was actually our second trip there this month. I took the kids two Saturdays ago with my cousin, Heather and her son, JD. It was a complete madhouse, and while we were there for at least three hours, we spent the majority of that time standing in lines. Ryan had had a fever earlier that morning, which broke a couple hours before we headed out, but spiked again the last 30 or so minutes we were there, so of course he was miserable almost the entire time. It just wasn't a great day to go, so I promised the kids we'd go back on a weekday when there weren't crowds. Monday was truly perfect. We got there at 11 and practically had the place to ourselves. We did the scarecrow ride, rode the train, jumped on the jumping pillows, took 74 pictures (29 of which are below), ate an enormous slice of pumpkin pie and picked out our very own pumpkins. It was just starting to get hot when we left, so we not only beat the crowds, but the heat too! It was a really fun outing with the kids. I wish Neil could have joined us but he had a crazy work day.

Anyway, here are those 29 pictures. Go ahead and count.

Ryan tried so hard to be as tall as his sister. Look at him on his tip toes reaching as high as he can.

The middle shot was taken just after we'd boarded the train. As you can see he was a pretty happy kid.

When we first walked through the pumpkins, Ryan immediately spotted this one, picked it up and attempted to bring it to me. It probably weighed what he weighed, which made my observation of the whole thing all the more precious. He was truly huffing and puffing trying to lug that thing around. I eventually convinced him to drop it, but naturally, Chloe had to have a turn.

It is getting more and more difficult to convince Ryan to look at the camera. He is as stubborn as they come.

Jumping pillows!

These make me laugh. The fact that Ryan wasn't quite tall enough to fit his entire face in the opening, not to mention that expression on his face! Priceless.

A few fun close-ups.

That pumpkin pie was so good. Bottom left photo - notice the sign behind Ryan? I suppose he wasn't sitting but rather squatting, which the sign did NOT discourage. So technically we didn't break any rules, right?

As soon as we got home, Ryan played on the floor with the pumpkins and squash we had picked up at Dell 'Osso. At one point, after lining up four of the squash, he enthusiastically said, "Take a picture, mommy!"

So I did! Cute kid.

And here, the pumpkins, which were thoughtfully chosen by Chloe and Ryan, now grace our front porch!

Day 1 was a good day.

Flashback Friday: celebrating!

2011-10-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

In honor of Brady and Sara, who celebrate two very special milestones this week, I dedicate this Flashback Friday post to them!

Brady is Neil's cousin, who I got to know really well back in 2006 when he was at the Air Force Academy and we were living in Colorado Springs. Lots of Saturday nights hangin' at the house, Sunday dinners, birthday celebrations, occasional sushi dates, talks about girls and life in general were all the norm with Brady. I adored him, and was sad when he graduated and moved away. The one quality in Brady that I spotted right off the bat and have continued to see as the years have passed is his giving heart and genuine concern for others. He's just a really good guy. I still remember when he called to tell me he was engaged. He was so deserving of the happiness he displayed and I couldn't have been more excited for him. It was really neat listening to him talk about Sara and how I was going to love her and how he was excited for me to meet her. And sure enough, when that day did finally come (at Malinka's 50th birthday BBQ), I fell in love, insantly. It doesn't seem like that long ago yet here they are today, celebrating two years of marriage!

Did I mention Sara had a baby last night? That would be the second reason we're celebrating.

Meet Jack, who made his debut at 7:22pm (a short 4 1/2 hours shy of his parents' anniversary), weighing a whopping 6 pounds, 6 ounces and measuring 20 inches. From what I hear (and see on Facebook, where I stole this picture from), Jack is perfect and has already acquired quite the fan base.

THEN (06 October 2009 - night before their wedding. Look how little Chloe is!)

And NOW (well, sorta - June 2011, when Brady and Sara were in the area and stopped by for lunch and a short visit. Sara has an itty bitty baby bump but it's hard to see in this picture. What is NOT hard to see is that Brady is properly representing a team we all love.)

I really could not be more happy for Brady, Sara and Jack. Although it's been years since Brady and I spoke regularly, I still hold a special spot in my heart for him and probably always will.

So Happy Birthday, Baby Jack! And Happy Anniversary, to the new parents!

What I loved about today

2011-10-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

Waking up to happy children.

Fall weather, complete with a few evening raindrops. Finally.

Chloe earning a RED at school.

Neil walking through the door in his cute blue scrubs after being away all night and a good part of today.

Pumpkins lining the grocery store front.

Overhearing Chloe in the bathroom with the door shut singing just loud enough for me to hear, "Bayba, bayba, bayba, ohhhhh; bayba, bayba, bayba, ohhhhh!" Apparently five isn't too young to have "Bieber fever."

These two.

Need I say more?

Watching the kids hang on monkey bars and hunt for dandelions at the park.

Chicken noodle soup simmering in the crock pot.

Chloe's enthusiasm while eating said soup: "Oh my goodness! Mom! Thank you! It's not even yuck! It's yum!"

Finishing off a pretty perfect day with a bag of kettle corn, two mugs of hot apple spice, the season premiere of my favorite show, and a husband with whom to share it all.

Happy accident

2011-10-02T23:15:00.000-07:00

My body is exhausted and yet my heart is ready to explode. As much as I want to share with you right now the many things I gained and loved from General Conference this weekend, I'm instead going to share a quick experience I had this afternoon and save the rest for later.

It was a particularly busy weekend and due to various commitments, we were only able to watch the morning sessions of General Conference. This afternoon we had a birthday party in Pleasanton and had to leave the house around 2. We drove separate cars because Neil, who is working in San Jose tomorrow decided to stay the night in Pleasanton to give him a head start on his morning commute. When it was time for us to leave, he offered to take the kids in my car (score!) which left me with his car. I always enjoy driving his little Jetta.  It's a lot zippier than my Altima, with it's fancy turbo engine and sixth gear, not to mention the fact that it has an iPod jack - a feature my "old" '06 Altima lacks. Naturally when given the opportunity to drive Neil's car, especially alone, I take full advantage, and today was no exception. I was almost past Manteca, having just turned on one of my favorite songs when, without warning, my phone went dead. It's done this to me a handful of times in the last few weeks and I can't explain why. But almost as quickly as it turned off, it came right back on again.  Slightly annoyed, a thought suddenly came to me.

"Hey, self. It's 2:18pm. General Conference is only an hour in. Why not ditch your plan of listening to music and instead turn on what really matters! You have that capability, after all!"

And this is true. When Neil upgraded his Droid a few months ago, I inherited his "old" Droid and was then officially welcomed into the 3g world. It's a scary world, I'll admit, but oh so convenient. And I'd say today I was more grateful for that convenience than ever before! It hadn't occurred to me to try turning Conference on until my music turned off. When I hopped onto lds.org and clicked "view live session," BAM, there it was.  Over the speakers came the familiar voice of Quentin L. Cook, offering a much more uplifting message than any song stored in my phone could have offered.

As I drove through the windmills along 580, it struck me suddenly how far technology has come. That I could drive in my car while listening to the Apostles of our church speak to me LIVE was just beyond my imagination! What a gift! Now in a world where technology seems to be improving by the hour this experience may seem small and insignificant. After all, the ability to watch Conference (or just about anything) on one's phone has been possible for a couple years now, right? But it was the happiest accident I'd stumbled upon in a long time and, I believe, an inspired one. Cook's talk was beautiful and in it he shared one of my favorite scriptures, which is Doctrine Covenants 122:7. It gives such an incredible depiction of what Joseph Smith faced shortly before his death, and offers a powerful perspective on trials in general. You think you have it bad? Read this scripture! And then take heart in its comforting conclusion that our trials give us experience and are for our good.

Following Cook's talk, President Thomas S. Monson, our prophet concluded the session with some words of comfort to the church members. Of the things he said, here is what I loved most:

"I love you. I pray for you. I would ask once again that you would remember me and all the general authorities in your prayers. We are one with you in moving this marvelous work.  I testify to you that we are all in this together and that every man, women and child has a part to play. May God give us the strength and the ability and the determination to play our part well..."

"...I leave with you my witness and my testimony that God our eternal father lives and loves us. He is indeed our father and He is personal and real. May we realize and understand how close to us He is willing to come; how far He is willing to go to help us; how much He loves us and how much He does and is willing to do for us. May He bless you. May His promise of peace be with you now and always."

General Conference is a beautiful concept. It gives members of the church an opportunity to pause from the chaos and confusion of life twice a year to come hear inspired men and women of God teach, comfort and offer guidance. I certainly gained a lot from the short amount of Conference I was able to see and hear this weekend, and my "happy accident" experience is one I'll certainly never forget.

Precocious Chloe

2011-09-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

This morning, while reading to the kids an article in the Friend magazine about Jesus's miracles, we came upon the story of Lazarus.

"The people said that Lazarus had been dead for four days," I read.

Chloe, who up to this point had been eating her breakfast silently just then announced, "that's longer than Jesus! He was only dead for three days!"

That it would even occur to her to process such a comparison is amazing to me. I had to chuckle. I love the way her intense little mind works.

This experience reminds me of a similar conversation Chloe had with my mom back in May when we were visiting. After whining over something trivial, my mom, in explaining that you don't always get what you want, said, "You know, most people want something they can't have! For example, not everyone has a grandpa and grandma!"

"WHO?!!", Chloe asked, but before my mom had a chance to answer, Chloe was on it.

"I know!! Adam and Eve! ... ...And their children!"

She was right! How did she know that, and what on earth even prompted her to question "who?" in the first place? She is so quick and sharp, yet carefully thoughtful in the process. She questions practically everything but always has a reason for doing so. She persists until she's satisfied. And yet beneath this intense and sometimes overbearing exuberance lies the tender sweet spirit of an innocent child who knows with every ounce of her precious being that she is special and that she is loved and that she is beautiful in the eyes of her Heavenly Father. These many qualities Chloe is cultivating give me great hope for her future and all the inevitable junk she's sure to face.

One last thing and I'll stop bragging.

The kindergartners who can count to 100 were recognized at Chloe's school assembly today. She was among the few, and has been in the "100's club" since her very first day of school! She can actually count past 100 and has been able to for months, but today was the day she was officially recognized and awarded for it.

Doesn't she look darling in her little Cougar tee? It's no wonder BYU beat Utah State tonight!

LOVE. THIS. GIRL.

Happy Anniversary, kids!

2011-09-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

Forty-five years ago on this day something pretty special happened. My parents, then twenty-two and twenty-three, who were madly in love - and I mean madly in love - who had waited four long years, and who were more than ready to begin their lives together were, at last, married.

I had the privilege of seeing these two lovebirds this week when they came for their annual Fall visit. As I was driving them to the airport Tuesday night, I asked them each to tell me what they valued most about their forty-five years of marriage.

DAD said the best thing was "having learned the truth of the last line from the song, "Nature Boy" which is:

The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return.

"In order to understand the truth of that line you do have 'to love and be loved in return' - and I do think that's the greatest thing."

MOM said this:

"Though I have always cherished my time with Dad, I find that increasing more and more. We always loved being together, and since much of our courtship was spent apart, the "At Last" (pertaining to the song) for us applies not only to our having found each other, but also to finally being married, so we could be together all the time - "At Last." When we married and I followed him to California I didn't know a soul there except a few of his friends I'd met only briefly. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was there. As the years go by, more and more I realize the value in just being with him. Though I enjoy the company of others and consider myself a social person, when I am away from him for any length of time I miss him, and I still cry when I leave him at the airport. We sit for hours after breakfast talking about many things, either the business at hand or reminiscing about old times. We talk as we take our walks, or sometimes don't talk, just walk hand-in-hand (and it's amazing how many people have commented on our holding hands as we walk). And he still makes me laugh - out loud - all the time. Being together is so comfortable, so right. And as time goes on, that only increases, getting better with each passing year."

The love these two share is a fierce, unbreakable kind of love. The foundation they've built throughout their journey together is immovable and they continue to strengthen it each day through simple acts of kindness, affection and laughter. The longer I'm alive and married the more I see just how much my parents' value of marriage has rubbed off on me. In a world where it's taken less and less seriously, I am grateful for this confidence and level of sacredness they have instilled in me. And there's no doubt in my mind that Neil and I will someday celebrate forty-five years too.

When I think about my parents I feel peace and comfort in my heart. They love each other so deeply, know each other so well, and take care of each other with such tenderness. Just as any parent finds joy in seeing his/her children happy, I find joy in seeing my parents happy. I sleep better at night knowing they are taken care of.

Over the years my parents have talked about some of the things that initially attracted them to each other. My dad has mentioned several times my mom's skinny ankles and her playful, vivacious spirit. He's also mentioned more than once the lasting effect she had on him the night they met on her front porch when he and their mutual friend, Lynn Hemingway dropped in to say hello. In a recent description he wrote about the movie, Legally Blonde for their annual Halliday Film Festival which they host each summer, he said this:

"You've gotta love Reese Witherspoon in this unlikely tale of blonde determination - and intelligence! - sticking it to academic snobbery and snooty elitism. It may surprise you, but Witherspoon in this film reminds me of Jill back in her twenties. Yup, the fun-loving confidence, the indomitable perseverance, the charming quick-wittedness, the life-loving exuberance, and the total absence of vindictiveness, even when maliciously wronged - the Jill I fell in love with over four decades ago."

My mom has talked endlessly about how handsome my dad was. She told me that the first time her youngest sister, Valeri, who was nine at the time, met him, she raced into the kitchen announcing that Dick Van Dyke was standing in their living room! My dad made her and everyone laugh, and that was a quality she'd always wanted and continues to appreciate and cherish to this day.

A variation of courtship photos ranging from 1962-1966.

With my grandparents, all of whom have passed away except Grandma Martha (second from the left), who will celebrate her 95th birthday this December. Love these people so much. Can't say it enough.

Shortly after they were married. Can you tell they're happy?

I love this one. Not sure what year it was taken but my guess is late 60s or early 70s.

You've still got it, guys! Even after forty-five years, you've still got it!
And just look what you have to show for it!

{Mother's Day 2011 - Salt Lake City, UT}

We love you and hope today is perfect!
Happy Anniversary!

Taking a break

2011-09-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

I have so many things on my mind and in my heart that I want to write about. Oh, time. Why do you keep slipping away from me? I have 3 photography sessions I'm trying to finish and then I'm taking a break from business. I'm feeling burnt out and ready to focus on some things that have been gathering dust in my personal life. There are many advantages to running a business and I count myself fortunate for the opportunities and experiences I've had. But lately the stress and workload has overpowered the joy and satisfaction, so I'm putting things on hold for a little while.

Here's something to tide you over while I finish what I started.

Nothin' like emptying your bladder into the warm sands of Lake Powell while enjoying a lollipop!

And here are some upcoming posts you can look forward to:

Labor Day weekend festivities (balloon fest, rafting, & ward temple day)
Chloe's first ballet lesson
September birthdays
September anniversaries
The many ways Ryan entertains himself while Chloe's at school
Lake Powell
My parents' visit
The Primary program
Ripon observations (in celebration of our one-year mark in CA)

And that just covers September. Stay tuned... I'll be back soon!

Remembering 9/11

2011-09-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

I don't remember many details of September 11, 2001, but I do remember where I was, what I was doing and how I felt when I heard the news. It was less than a month after I'd turned 20; less than three weeks after I'd moved out of the house in which I'd lived my entire life (in Vacaville, CA) and into a new house with my brother in Orem, UT; less than five months before I met Neil; and less than a year before I married him. I was driving down State Street in Orem, heading home after dropping my friend off at work. It was roughly 7:30am when I heard an announcement on the radio that an airplane had crashed into the Pentagon, and that only moments prior, two other airplanes had hit the twin towers in New York City. Many emotions hit me in that instant, the greatest being that of confusion. Was this some kind of joke? After all, such topics as airplanes crashing into historical landmarks weren't the norm for weekday FM morning radio.

Upon arriving home, I rushed into the house and flipped on the TV. Instantly I saw the smoking twin towers. No matter what channel, they were there with the bold red words below, "Breaking News." I don't think my eyes left the screen for at least two hours. It was terrifying and unbelievable. I wondered what senseless human being could be capable of such a deliberate act of hatred and terror.

That is honestly the extent of my memory from that day. I don't remember talking to anyone or even seeing anyone after that point. I think part of the reason the events are a blur is telling of just how surreal it was. Even now, the little I do remember feels more like a bad dream than a memory. I think as the years have passed and I've grown to have a greater and more mature understanding of and appreciation for our country and the many sacrifices made that day and since then on our behalf, I've become much more affected by and sympathetic to the occurrences of that day. This year in particular, as we've approached the 10-year anniversary, I've found myself overcome with tender emotion, especially when reading newspaper articles and other stories honoring the victims and their families. It has been inspiring hearing about who these people were, how they fought to the very end, and how their loved ones have learned to cope with their lasting grief. I can only imagine what they still feel, even now.

I think too about how eye opening this catastrophe was to the American people and how it affected ALL of us. So often we look at celebrities and assume their problems couldn't possibly compare to ours when in reality we know that isn't so. September 11th was just as horrifying for them as it was for us. But despite the nightmare, I think the experience presented a strong bond of unity to our nation. We were all in it together, celebrity, politician, athlete, millionaire or not, and we were reminded that no one is free from heartache or loss.

Of the many moving images captured this day, this, in my mind, stands above all others.
Courtesy of Franklin Thomas (read the story behind the photo HERE).

In the words of President Thomas S. Monson:

"If there is a spiritual lesson to be learned from our experience of that fateful day, it may be that we owe to God the same faithfulness that He gives to us. We should strive for steadiness, and for a commitment to God that does not ebb and flow with the years or the crises of our lives. It should not require tragedy for us to remember Him, and we should not be compelled to humility before giving Him our faith and trust. We too should be with Him in every season."

(from the Washington Post's series "On Faith", featuring President Monson's column entitled, "9/11 Destruction Allowed Us To Spiritually Rebuild" published September 8, 2011).

How true it is that we must have faith. We will never be free of adversities, disappointments or heartaches during our time on earth. Never, ever. But we can take comfort and find hope in knowing our Heavenly Father has a plan. We can have faith that He truly is in charge and knows what He's doing and that everything happens for a specific reason. And whether it be in the bright and happy season of summer or the dark and bitter season of winter, we can and should always keep Him close.

I can't say enough how grateful I am for the brave and committed heroes of September 11th or how proud I am to be an American. It truly is such a privilege and blessing.

God bless America.

Birthday wishes for Wendy and Emma

2011-09-04T23:19:00.001-07:00

Today is my best friend's birthday. Wendy and I go so far back that I honestly don't remember life without her. Our moms are sisters, and we might as well be too. We know each other inside and out, and have always, always been close. I love, respect and admire Wendy more than she even knows, and though I only get to see her once or twice a year, I think of her often.

And then there's Emma. Strong, sweet, perfect Emma, for whom Wendy (and Brandon and Chase) waited for a very long time. Emma celebrated her 1st birthday on Wednesday, the 31st. In the short time she's been on this earth she's endured more than many endure in an entire lifetime, and in doing so, she's touched countless lives, including my own. She is an angel and a blessing to her family and those with whom she comes in contact.

I love you BOTH and hope you've had wonderful, wonderful days!

Front page

2011-09-02T17:51:00.000-07:00

I knew I'd left something out of the last post. The afternoon of Chloe's first day of school I got a text from my friend Karin asking if I'd seen the Ripon Record (our local newspaper), which comes out every Wednesday. I had not, but was so grateful Karin went to the trouble to ask because she then informed me that Chloe was on the front page! What!? And on her first day of kindergarten of all days? Turns out, on August 2nd, when we decided at the last minute to go to Ripon's National Night Out at the local community center, there was a photographer for the Ripon Record wandering around with his camera. It was a great community event and among many of Ripon's representitives, the Fire Department was there in their uniforms showing off their largest truck with all its bells and whistles. When we took the kids over to see it and one of the fire fighters offered to let them sit in the front seat, Chloe practically jumped into his arms. Pictured below is that same fire fighter helping her out of the truck a few minutes later. The photographer asked for her name but didn't make any indication as to whether or not the picture would be published anywhere.

How cool is that!? I was so excited, and still can't believe the timing of it all. Thanks, Karin, for letting me know about our little newspaper star!

Oh, the places she'll go...

2011-09-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned a handful of times now, Chloe's first day of kindergarten was August 10th. It was a bittersweet day (more sweet than bitter), but I kept it together pretty well all things considered. I was kind of a mess the night before just trying to get everything ready and best prepare myself for the following morning's events. After tossing and turning in bed for several minutes, I finally got up and had a good, long needed cry. It felt great, honestly, and as I sat and cried some more, I reminisced about my baby girl and about how quickly the last five and a half years had passed by. Then I put my thoughts on paper and wrote Chloe a letter. I am so glad I did that. The words came flowing probably due to the overabundance of emotions filling my heart. The tears and the letter did the trick because when I was finished I crashed. Next thing I knew it was morning. As I lay in bed starring up at the ceiling, I said to myself, "I will remember this day for the rest of my life."

Neil had to work in Sacramento early that morning so he missed out on all the first day of school festivities, which was a serious bummer. Chloe and Ryan were still sleeping when he had to take off, so he stopped in Chloe's room to give her a kiss and wish her well before slipping out. I managed to get Chloe's lunch made and packed between the time Neil left and Chloe came downstairs.

{I found this cute printable here, and just couldn't resist. Even though Chloe's still learning to read and wasn't likely to get it, I knew she'd still be excited to find a little treat in her lunch.}

When Chloe came downstairs she was already dressed and wearing one of the biggest grins I've ever seen. Clearly she was excited and ready for this day she'd been anticipating for months and months. She was absolutely darling to watch. The first thing she said to me was, "Daddy kinda woke me up when he came and kissed me." Then, over the course of the next half hour she said about six different times, "I can't believe it's my first day of school!"

Here's a little video clip I took before we headed out.

And here are the pictures. Yes, the many, many pictures. As usual, I went overboard.

The (bent) sign should read "Ms. Huff", not "Miss Huff". Oops. Look at how cute my babies are!

I love their expressions, especially Ryan's. I don't think he really had a clue what was going on.

Arriving to school, just about to walk into the classroom! Chloe was so excited to see a star on the door with her name on it! Pictured to the right is Chloe with her new friend, Kaya.

Ms. Huff took a picture of each child sitting in this chair before class started, so it was only logical that I take a picture of her sitting in the chair too (because I hadn't already taken about a hundred pictures). To the right, Chloe sits quietly at her place at the table, ready to go!

By this point I think Chloe had had about enough with the camera. I couldn't blame her, but I also couldn't help myself. So I kept clicking away.

Here Chloe stands in line just after the bell has rung. That's Ms. Huff on the right, greeting every child individually before heading into the classroom. She does that every single morning. Isn't that neat?

And one last shot of my Chloebug standing in line. It was around this time that she said to me, "K, Mom. It's time for you to go now."

I watched as Chloe followed her classmates into Room 1. Then I watched the door shut behind them.

Then I stood there for a few seconds longer and just stared at the classroom. I'm not sure if I was waiting for something else to happen or what, but it was in that moment that I realized I wasn't dreaming, that I was really living Chloe's first day of kindergarten, and that, so far, I'd survived it.

To celebrate my survival (HA!), Ryan and I stopped at the donut shop here in Ripon. It was pretty cool hanging out with my little man, and it made me excited for all the future mornings we'd be spending together, just the two of us.

Ryan didn't seem initially affected by Chloe's absence, but once we got home he started asking, "Where's Chloe?" Neither one of us seemed to know what to do with ourselves. It was bizarre to say the least. Luckily 1:50 arrived quickly and it was time to go pick her up.

Though I didn't get much information out of her, Chloe had a great first day and seemed really happy. Upon arriving home, she had a little snack while I interviewed her. She seemed to really enjoy answering the questions, and even suggested that in addition to the many favorites I'd listed, that I include her favorite shape. And so I did!

It was a memorable day for sure, and I am already looking back on it with tenderness. Now that we're three weeks in I can honestly say I'm seeing big changes in Chloe. She is growing up more and more every day and I am just beyond proud. This will probably sound terrible but this whole transition has worked wonders for our relationship. Being away from her for six hours every day has given me the opportunity to miss her. My patience level has increased tremendously as well, and I have felt many tender mercies. It's just been a great thing all around.

I also just adore Chloe's teacher. With all the recent budget cuts, classes have increased in size by an average of 50%. Chloe's class contains 28 students and Ms. Huff doesn't even have an aide! It's terrible. I feel for her but have been so impressed with how she's managed to stay on top of things. She is loving and affectionate but firm too - just the combination these little munchkins need. I can't wait to help out in the classroom and suspect I'll have many opportunities!

One last thing I wanted to share are these pictures I dug up the other night. Just thought it was appropriate given this special milestone. Weren't we cute little kindergartners?

Happy Kindergarten, darling Chloe! We can hardly wait to see all the things you do and all the places you go! We love you!

An extraordinary moment on an ordinary day

2011-09-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

You may recall this post wherein I shared this quote by Hilary Weeks: "Extraordinary moments can happen in the middle of ordinary days." This morning I had one of those moments.

It all started as Chloe and I were heading out the door. Suddenly, she gasped, froze in her tracks, put her hand over her mouth and pointed to the window.

"Look, Mom! Look! LOOK!!!"

"Cool! It's a hot air balloon!"

"Can I go outside and see it? Please, Mommy! Pleaaaaase!"

"No, Chloe, we need to go! But you'll be able to see it while we're driving, probably even better than if you stood outside!"

"Okay!" she said, dashing to the car in record-breaking time.

Upon leaving our cul-de-sac, Chloe instantly spotted the balloon, which was now straight ahead of us, and proceeded to follow its location all the while jumping around in her seat, shrilling with joy and clapping her hands. About a mile into the drive, Chloe discovered two more balloons, over which she became equally ecstatic. Never have I seen a child show the level of exuberance, wonder and awe over a man-made device that Chloe demonstrated this morning. She was practically in tears. When we made our final turn onto Murphy Road towards the school, we noticed that the most colorful balloon of the bunch was now within a few hundred feet of us and very low to the ground. Chloe's school is surrounded by orchards so you can imagine the glorious sight of this vibrant and gigantic balloon aircraft practically skimming the tops of these luscious trees right next to us. It was incredible. When we got to school and I pointed out the balloon one last time, which we could barely see now from the playground, I kissed Chloe goodbye and watched her skip away.

It was pretty awesome being in the right place at the right time. It was even more awesome witnessing Chloe's reaction to it. Such a simple thing it was, but such astounding joy it brought her, and, as a result, me.

I think I just might like hot air balloons more today than I did yesterday.

Kindergarten Orientation

2011-09-01T01:27:00.000-07:00

Kindergarten Orientation took place August 8th, two days before Chloe's first day of school. It was a nice opportunity for us to meet her teacher, Ms. Huff, see her classroom, and explore the school grounds with Chloe before the big first day. It was a surreal experience, I'll admit, but helped the reality of what was happening sink in with greater ease. And yes, of course I took pictures!

Chloe following the Cougar paws to the cafeteria.

Getting familiar with the playground.

School cafeteria. Cutest little Cougar I ever did see. And how ironic - blue and white?! Neil was pleased.

Sitting at her spot, oh so ready to learn!

Enjoying some ice cream to finish things off.

First day of school photos coming VERY soon!

Hello, thirty.

2011-08-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday, the 24th of August, at 3:56pm, I officially bid my twenties farewell.

It's ironic that the last year of my life has been the most significant yet. On a handful of occasions I've referred to it as "my year", in fact. Despite the many challenges I've faced, however, I've grown leaps and bounds, and gained a new level of empathy, patience and acceptance for the inevitable. It certainly has been a time to grow. No need to get mushy though. It's been a wonderful week and I've had a blast celebrating. In light of that, I thought it would be fun to post a birthday interview to document who I am right now. Thirty is a milestone, after all, and I think it's worth making a tiny fuss over. So here is probably way more than you ever wanted to know about me.

AS OF 24 AUGUST 2011:

Favorite thing to eat:
I'm on a major caprese salad kick. We have two tomato plants outside that finally started producing cherry tomatoes a couple weeks ago. Between those and my sweet cousin's amazing vegetable garden close by, there has been an abundance of tomatoes around here. I've also managed to keep my basil plant alive this year, which is a first for me. Now add a little fresh mozzarella, red onion, and a sweet balsamic vinegar concoction and you've got a tasty (and eye-pleasing) treat. What's really funny is I've hated tomatoes my whole life, until about a year ago.

Favorite TV shows:
House, M.D. and Criminal Minds. Also love How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, SNL and So You Think You Can Dance. We still watch The Office, but I think it's going downhill.

Favorite movies:
Oceans Eleven has for years been my favorite. And among many others, I'm a real sucker for make ya feel goods like The Blind Side, August Rush, Radio, Rudy, and The Pursuit of Happyness. I also try to watch A&E's Pride and Prejudice every few years, though I still haven't talked Neil into watching it with me. I also love many old movies and find the dialogue to be refreshing and insightful. So many movies today lack good dialogue.

Actors I love:
Vince Vaughn - my absolute fav. He's the kind of actor who seems to just play himself. He's so natural and real. I think he'd be a really cool guy to hang out with at a BBQ.
Jack Black - again, hilarious and real. Love his quirky, eccentric nature.
Matt Damon - great actor and ridiculously good looking.
Justin Timberlake - really could care less about his music, but think he's an incredible actor. And as a longtime SNL viewer and fan, I also think he is by far the best host they've had.
Clark Gable - the epitome of "tall, dark and handsome." Loved him in It Happened One Night.
Paul Newman - maybe part of the reason I've always loved him is because he reminds me of Neil. Aside from his amazing talent as an actor, he was also a family man. I respect and love him for it.
Daniel Craig & Ryan Reynolds - hottness at its finest!

Actresses I love:
Reese Witherspoon - love her cute and sassy nature. She plays her roles very well too.
Kate Winslet - I find her endearing, sweet and very down-to-earth. I also love her accent.
Joan Cusak - love her voice!!
Kristen Wiig - so funny! One of the best cast members SNL has ever had. Target lady? Genius!
Ellen Degeneres - absolutely hilarious! Love her.
Katharine Hepburn - love the sassy roles she played, especially in Bringing Up Baby.
Kate Beckinsale - quite possibly the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on.

Musical artists I love:
I'm pretty well rounded when it comes to music.
Diana Krall, who's not only an incredibly talented singer and pianist, but a down to earth wife and mother to twin boys. It's rare to find such qualities in a celebrity these days.
Other favorites include The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Sergei Rachmoninov (composer and pianist), John Mayer, Muse, Coldplay, Radiohead and some of the older classics like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bobby Darin, Ella Fitzgerald and the Beatles. I guess it's the stuff you hear from your youth that often sticks with ya.

Songs I'm loving:
"Hello" (Martin Solveig & Dragonette), "Strawberry Swing" (Coldplay), "Good Life" (OneRepublic), and "Starlight" (Muse).

Favorite Christmas song:
"Winter Wonderland." Also love Dean Martin's "Marshmallow World." No one sings that song like Dean. That recording brings back tender memories of childhood Christmases.

Favorite church apostle:
Among the many amazing ones out there, Jeffrey R. Holland is probably my very favorite.

Favorite hymn:
I have many! "Lord, I Would Follow Thee," "Where Can I Turn For Peace?," "Battle Hymn of the Republic," "The Lord is my Shepherd," "Joseph Smith's First Prayer," "Love at Home," and "The Spirit of God" are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Powerful words and melodies. I usually can't get through any one of these without getting choked up.

Favorite primary song:
"I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me."

Favorite scripture story:
Joseph Smith's first vision and the events that followed. This last year especially I have grown to love and cherish the Doctrine and Covenants. So many treasures there!

Current church calling:
Beehive advisor (for the third time in nine years).

A calling I would enjoy:
Relief Society teacher.

Favorite holiday:
Thanksgiving. It lands during my favorite season, the food is always amazing, the football is awesome, and you can't beat spending time with family! I think another reason I love Thanksgiving is because it's sort of the kick off to the Christmas season. Rest assured, I never get my Christmas decor out until after Thanksgiving has passed.

Favorite candy:
Chewy Sprees! Also love Hot Tamales, Red Vines, and Peanut M&Ms. Definitely prefer fruity over chocolaty.

Guilty pleasures:
Coke or Pepsi. I drink way too much of it. Sushi is another. I literally can't get enough and am always in the mood. Pioneer Woman's chocolate sheet cake - so terribly tasty. I only make it once or twice a year for a reason.

Favorite smells:
Tide with a hint of Downy - I could sit and smell a bottle of that stuff all day long. Fresh rain. Vanilla and Harvest scented candles. Pampers Swaddlers - I know that's weird, but they have such a clean, new baby scent, and totally take me back to those first days.

Places I'd love to go:
I am a real homebody so honestly, the idea of traveling isn't a must for me. There are a few places I'd love to see before I die though. New Orleans is one of them, as strange as that may be. I'd also love to travel Europe, see Jane Austen's house, and visit Bern, Switzerland from where my paternal grandmother and her family came when she was only eleven.

What I want to be when I grow up:
The same thing I've always wanted to be: a wife and mother. I am living the dream, and I mean that with all sincerity.

Things I both love and hate:
Running - hate doing it, love the liberation that follows.
The Pottery Barn - love their stuff, hate their prices.
Pinterest - the ultimate time sucker! I will say I have found some excellent and useful ideas and recipes there. It really is an incredible tool and offers an efficient way to archive some of your favorite things. I've just had to learn to practice some serious restraint!

Biggest pet peeves:
Forgive my candor, but I have quite a few.
Bad grammar! Don't even get me started.
Not giving credit where credit is due.Twice I have seen my photos on another person's blog with no permission or mention of me, and I've seen it happen to other photographers countless times as well. This is why I've started watermarking my personal photos in addition to my professional ones. It isn't that I care if people use them. Nor am I trying to say I think my photos are exceptional and deserve praise. It's just principle! If you're going to share someone else's work on your blog, social network page or anywhere for that matter, take the extra two seconds to include their name! And it wouldn't hurt to ask their permission first, too!
Bad drivers. Some people just shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel.
Flakiness/not following through. If you've committed yourself to something, do it! If you can't or won't do it, don't commit in the first place! It's quite simple. And if you borrow something, give it back! Don't make me ask for it! Drives me nuts!
Phoniness. I don't want candy coated, I want real!
Disrespect/sense of entitlement.This mainly applies to the youth of today, but unfortunately I've seen it among adults as well.
Noisy/inconsiderate neighbors. I don't tolerate noise well, especially when it disrupts the peace and quiet in my home. Whether it be someone blasting their stereo or talking loudly, if I can hear it inside my house with my windows shut, I'm probably going to make a fuss over it!

Greatest weaknesses:
I'm indecisive, lack patience, am an extreme perfectionist and a terrible procrastinator. Wow, that really doesn't paint a very pretty picture, does it?

Greatest insecurity:
My teeth. Hate them. Ugh! Braces, someday.

Greatest strengths:
I am compassionate and care deeply for the important people in my life, probably much more than they know. I also have the ability to recognize God's simple beauties. I am passionate about and easily moved by these things, and I'm grateful for this sensitivity. The world is so much more pleasant when you can surround yourself with lovely things that fulfill you. Sometimes I feel like I'm a young person with an old soul because of how deeply I appreciate and feel like I can understand certain things. Whether it be music, art, poetry, or dance, when I am moved by it, you know it. I really hope I can pass this same sense of passion, recognition and appreciation down to my children, not just so they'll learn to love some of the things I love, but because I know it can bring them joy and fulfillment as well.

The things I value most:
Being a daughter of God, a wife and a mother. Neil, Chloe and Ryan. Spending time with my family, extended families and close friends. Family history, including old and current photos, journaling and other special things documented. My parents' and in-laws' wisdom, knowledge and testimony of gospel truths as well as my own testimony and the sacred things in my heart.

A few of my favorite things:
Big tall trees, renovated homes in charming old neighborhoods, Bath and Bodywork's anti-bacterial soap, Target, Nike dri-fit gear, the Fall season, creme brulee, ballet, The Pioneer Woman, blasting an awesome song in the car while driving alone, polka dots and scalloped edges, writing, blogging, caramel corn, flag banners, classic Christmas music, cooking and baking, long, meaningful talks with loved ones, tasteful crafts, 49ers and LSU football, Pandora radio, the house in the movie Father of the Bride, Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, rain, rottweilers and bulldogs, family bike rides, Briannas salad dressings (haven't tried a flavor I don't love), white kitchen cabinets and dark wood floors, McDonald's fries, Lay's kettle cooked jalapeno potato chips, Baskin Robbin's daiquiri ice, C.S. Lewis, photography, old family photos, avacados, vintage fabric, and a good laugh. Just to name a few.

What I hope to accomplish in the coming year:
Build even stronger relationships with my children. Read to them more. Talk to them more. Relish my time with them more. Scrapbook and journal more. Get my photos organized once and for all. Print my blog into books. Read, study and know my scriptures better. Relax and not stress so much. Get back on a normal running/exercise schedule and stick to it. Call my grandma more frequently.  Take part in a flash mob. Plant and maintain a nice fruit and vegetable garden. Be more kind to others. Go to bed earlier. Organize a family tree on a wall in my house consisting of old family photos, new family photos, and special quotes/sayings by family members who have passed on. Be happy, smile and laugh lots.

Wow, that took forever, didn't it?!

-----

I had a great birthday week. On Wednesday (my actual birthday), my cute friend, Brittney threw a birthday brunch for our friend Tina, who celebrated her birthday the 26th, and me.  Brittney, Tina and I went to TOFW together back in March and see each other a fair amount given the nature of our callings in YW. I will forever hold a special place in my heart for Tina, who reached out to me the first Sunday we went to church here. It was fun being the birthday girls together.

Neil thought he was going to have to go to Bakersfield Wednesday afternoon, so we had planned to celebrate my birthday another day, but he found out late Tuesday that he did not have to go after all. So we snuck out for dinner that evening, leaving the kids with our next door neighbors. When we came home, we sat outside and chatted for a while while the kiddos played.

{With next door neighbors, Gabby and Ariana. Love these girls.}

My cute friend, Janea dropped by some cupcakes while we were still outside, which finished off the day just right, not to mention all the texts, phone calls and facebook messages I had received throughout the day.

On Thursday, my friends Tami and Lorilee took me out for sushi. Misty was going to come but got sick at the last minute, which I was really bummed about. I kinda like that friend of mine. It was fun to get away for an hour and a half and enjoy some girl time. I've never really been a big "girls night out" kinda gal, but these 3 ladies make it really easy to love the concept. I'm anxious for Tami's birthday in November so we'll have an excuse to go out again. She'll also be celebrating the big 3-0!

Just when I thought birthday festivities were over, I was invited to yet another birthday lunch on Friday that another lady from the ward arranged for all the August birthday girls at church. There were six of us total, so an intimate little group, but just perfect. I am really amazed and touched by the generous nature of the women I go to church with. They inspire me more than they know.

{Top left: the birthday girls holding up our bracelets that our friend, Alex made for us; top right: birthday brunch crew - me, Tina, Kathy, Alex, Amber, Kaylene and Belinda - all ladies from church; bottom left: Tami (with her cute little baby girl bump), Lorilee and me (we missed you, Misty!); bottom right: just a glance at the number of cards and treats I received from loved ones.}

So far thirty feels pretty good. Thanks for everyone who contributed to my very happy birthday.

Remembering...

2011-08-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Neil:

"I remember that it was really hot out."

"I remember Holly's cell phone going off during the ceremony."

"I remember you looking pretty in your dress." (said with a wink)

"I remember walking around with you outside the temple and pretending we liked each other. Except we didn't have to pretend."

Valeri:

"I remember just feeling really, really happy the whole entire day."

Neil:

"I remember feeling really, really happy when we were done with pictures."

Valeri:

"I remember the sincere expression on your face upon seeing me for the first time in my dress. I'll never, ever forget that expression. Ever."

"I remember sitting in the celestial room with you just moments before we were escorted in to be sealed."

"I remember saying, 'yes'!"

Neil: "It was a good day."
Valeri: "It was a good day."

Happy 9th to us!

A visit and 3 birthdays

2011-08-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

It's always fun when Grandma comes to visit, especially on a week when two great milestones are taking place! What, you ask, might those be? Well, kindergarten for Chloe, of course. And for Grandma Susie? A birthday! That's right. On August 13th, Susie celebrated the big 5-5! What a milestone! She sure is youthful for being that old (HA!), despite Chloe's innocently honest remark over Sunday's dinner about all her wrinkles.

Grandma Susie, we're so glad you could come hang out with us for a week! And we're even more glad that you chose to do so the week of your birthday! It is rare that we get to the chance to celebrate with you and it was special for us just as we hope it was special for you!

{During an afternoon of rafting and enjoying some warm California sun.}

You are an awesome person for whom I hold high respect. You know what you want, know how to achieve it, and don't waste any time in the process. I also love that you are honest and direct. One of the nights you were here, Chloe asked if you went to church and you told her you went to the same church that she does. I loved what you said next: "It's true, ya know." What strength and confidence your children and grandchildren gain in hearing you share your beliefs. I have always admired your obedient heart and love for and confidence in the gospel. And I find it to be more comforting than ever now that Chloe is growing old enough to understand the concept of a testimony and use yours and other loved ones' as a foundation for her own.

Rafting, sugar cookie baking & frosting, swimming, shopping, bike riding, and movies... it was all a blast! Thanks for coming to see us, and thanks for being awesome!

{Eating a special birthday breakfast cake while opening a very funny birthday card.}

We love you and hope you had a wonderful birthday!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Grandma Jean, who celebrated on the 16th and also my father-in-law, Dave, who celebrated on the 19th.

{LEFT to RIGHT: Uncle Don, Grandpa Don, Grandma Jean & Blake, Mom, and Dad}

I had to steal these pictures off facebook since I don't have recent pictures of either one of you. Obviously it's been too long since we hung out. Good thing Lake Powell is just around the corner! XOXO.

Late night chat

2011-08-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight as we were heading up to bed, I made my nightly rounds to the kids' rooms; you know, the usual: make sure they're still breathing and kiss them goodnight (yet again). When I entered Ryan's room I noticed the cupboards attached to his dresser/changing table were wide open. In fear that he might run into one if he happened to get up in the night, I closed them. Just then I heard some rustling coming from his direction of the room followed by,

"Hi Mom."

"Hi buddy," I said as I knelt down beside him on the floor (where he sleeps 98% of the time).

With his eyes still closed, he reached his arms straight out in front of him and said, "Hug", to which I quickly fulfilled his wish. Then, only a second or two later, "Kiss". I again obliged. His eyes were still closed.

THEN, about five seconds after that, he said, "I colored on my penis."

"You what?" (I hadn't caught the "colored", only, "my penis".) When he repeated himself and I caught on to what he was saying I started to chuckle, which made Ryan, whose eyes were still closed, chuckle too.

"I colored on my penis," he said again, "and my tummy." He actually did color in these places earlier this evening, hence the red marks all over his lower half (and desire, for whatever reason, to remind me).

"We don't color on our body though, do we?", I said.

"No, only on paper." More giggles.

What a sweet little boy, and what a preciously silly (and unexpected) 11:43pm conversation he and I had. I sure do love that kid, troublesome and all.

Paragraph missing... and a few more thoughts

2011-08-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

I was just glancing at the post I published late last night and noticed a paragraph was missing. Oops. Not sure how that happened because I know I wrote it. Anyway, if you've read the post (which I don't expect many have because it's long and void of pictures), and wondered if something was off or missing, you are correct! It's the paragraph starting with, "Not two days later..." that was inadvertently removed. Sorry about that.

I also had an afterthought, which I might as well share now since I'm going to the trouble of writing this post anyway. There is a particular scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 121 that has brought me comfort in recent months as I have tackled the various challenges of parenting with patience, and which greatly applies here. Section 121 consists of prophecies written by Joseph Smith when he was in Liberty Jail, specifically, the responsibilities and attributes of the Priesthood. Many prophets and other church authorities have referenced this section and have dissected some of its verses in great detail.

41: No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only be persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42: By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile--
43: Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
44: That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.
45: Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
46: The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

These words so beautifully describe the attributes that holders of the Priesthood should seek and practice, as well as parents. Verse 43 in particular hits hard every time I read it. We are human, and as parents we sometimes lack patience and tolerance. We react on impulse and allow outside frustrations to influence our temper and the manner in which we discipline our children. That's not to say our children don't need to be corrected, sometimes in a sharp, firm manner. But just as we should scold them (sensitively) when necessary, we should also show "an increase of love" afterwards. This is so hard to do sometimes when we may not feel so warm and fuzzy inside, but so imperative for the sake of our children and our relationships with them. Truly, the way we act around and treat our children is the way they will learn to act around and treat others.

President Gordon B. Hinckley's talk, Behold Your Little Ones, from October 1978's Conference Report is just incredible and encompasses this whole idea. I would recommend any parent read it and take heart to his wise council about raising children.

I am so grateful, amidst this crazy, evil world in which I live, to have the gospel in my life, and for the prophets, past and present, who offer guidance and comfort to members of the church. A part of me is terrified at the thought of Chloe being out there now where I can no longer control her surroundings, encounters, experiences and friendships. But another part of me, a bigger part of me, feels reassured that she will be just fine. Because as her parents, Neil and I have the power and privileged to teach her every day, both by word and example. Just as the scripture says, we have with us the Holy Ghost to help us, so long as we're living in a manner that is worthy of His presence. Sometimes our "teaching" is unpleasant but necessary, and sometimes it's pleasant and fulfilling. Whichever it may be, I am trying much harder to think before I react and always, no matter what, end things on a positive, loving note. If this concept isn't enough to motivate me to be a better person then I don't know what is.

Why Chloe needs kindergarten in her life...

2011-08-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a few months ago and wanted to get it posted before Chloe started kindergarten. Too late for that seeing that August 10th was five days ago. I know, what kind of mother am I that I haven't even posted a picture from her first day?! (Or wished my mother-in-law, who turned fifty-five on the 13th a happy birthday?) In some ways, however, I think it's appropriate that I'm posting this now because of the added perspective I've gained from these short four days she's been in kindergarten. This summer and especially the few weeks leading up to that bittersweet first day, I've frequently pondered Chloe's tendencies and habits. And as I've done so, it has struck me numerous times that she, and children in general, each reach a point in their lives where dad and mom aren't enough anymore, and when school is simply crucial to their growth and well being. Structure, routine, responsibility, challenges, consequences, independence, teachers and other sources of authority, and friends. They just need it. Yes, they still need their parents too. But without school (whether it be in a public setting or at home), it is difficult for children to grasp some important concepts about surviving in this world. The following is a {somewhat comical} account of recent challenges I've faced with Chloe. Reflecting back on the four short days she's been in kindergarten I can honestly say I am already seeing positive changes in her, which reinforces my previous claim that school is crucial.

These events took place in April, and I wrote this post in May. It may seem a bit silly and lacking in direction or purpose. And perhaps I'm just setting myself up for others to judge me as a mom. But I think it's good to document not just the pleasant but sometimes the unpleasant, particularly when there are lessons to be learned. And hey, if nothing else, if I'd had the nerve and strong will at age five that my daughter has now, I'd really enjoy reading about it twenty-five years later.

...

Preschool mornings, which are thankfully of the past, were rarely joyful in our house. Inevitably Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings were the mornings Chloe did not want to get out of bed, and would whimper and whine until we dragged her up. Then she'd usually whimper and whine some more. I will have to say she did improve as the end of the school year approached, but generally those mornings meant a grumpy little miss.

One morning in particular (in April), after laying out Chloe's clothes and awakening her, I raced downstairs to make sure Ryan wasn't up to any trouble. Naturally, he had already found it (sigh) in the pantry. Yep, there he sat, on the floor, enjoying the bag of M&Ms Chloe had earned at preschool the day prior, which he had retrieved from the top shelf of the pantry. If you don’t believe me when I say “top shelf”, take a look at this. Or this. It's a good thing Chloe didn't see him, although I don't know that it would have made much difference with the foul mood she was already in (and about to inflict upon us).

First, the shirt I picked out for her was "wrong". It had a three quarter length sleeve and she doesn't like those for whatever reason. Or maybe I should say she didn't like them on this particular day, either because I chose it or because she tends to like things one day and dislike them the next. There's usually no explanation, but she does it a lot. "I don't like broccoli anymore. I used to like it but I don't anymore." Or, "Yes, I'll have butter on my toast. I don't really like butter, except in cookies, but I'll eat it today."

After a minor squabble over the three quarter length sleeved shirt, she reluctantly put it on and came downstairs. This is when I offered her breakfast. Among a handful of options, she chose a granola bar and proceeded to tear off the plastic packaging and bite into it. Now I'm convinced it was broken in two to begin with, but she didn't notice it until she'd taken that first bite. That’s when the world stopped and Chloe proceeded to chuck the imperfect granola bar onto the floor, cross her arms and let out a pitiful groan. I immediately told her to pick it up to which she replied, "No! I'm not going to eat that! It's broken!" We went back and forth for twenty or so seconds before I simply concluded, "If you don't pick up that granola bar and eat it, you don't eat at all!" Chloe didn't believe that I'd actually send her to school hungry, but quickly realized I wasn't messing around. Either eat it, or be hungry. Those were her two options.

Not two days later we had a similar incident, again, before preschool and during breakfast time. What joy fills my soul when the first thing I hear upon awakening in the morning is the shrilling scream of my child. I don't often catch Chloe in the act of bullying her brother, but on this particular morning I happened to walk into the kitchen just in time to witness her shoving Ryan. Without a second thought I sent her straight to timeout, reiterating for the 17,857th time that it is never okay to contact someone in such a manner! As she stood there, I took it upon myself to prepare her cereal. We were running low on time and I was trying to make every minute count. So after placing a bowl of Apple Jacks at her place and telling her she could come out, she walked to the table, took one glance at it, and burst into tears.

"I didn't want Apple Jacks! I wanted Cocoa Krispies!"

Really, Chloe? After earning a first class ticket to timeout, you're going to have the nerve, not a second after being released, to throw a fit over the cereal I poured into your bowl? I tried to explain to her that, 1) she asks for Apple Jacks 90% of the time, so why wouldn't I assume she'd go for Apple Jacks on this morning too?, and 2) given the circumstances, does she really think it's acceptable to throw a tantrum right now over something so trivial?

But wait, it gets better. As Chloe was now stomping, screaming, and borderline hyperventilating (no exaggeration - I wish I'd captured it on video), she paused to say, "I'm not your daughter anymore!", to which I matter-of-factly replied, "You're not!? Well, maybe you should find a new mom then!"

Chloe, who by this point was on fire and ready to accept my challenge, then raced to the front door, attempting to escape with no success due to the locked top latch. For the sake of our neighbors, it's probably best that she didn't make it outside. No one needed to catch a glimpse of our morning glory.

So why in heaven's name would I share these stories? Certainly they don't paint a very good picture of my dramatic five-year-old, or her mother for that matter! I'd like to think that in years to come when I've [hopefully] found a way to channel Chloe's stubborn and headstrong nature into something healthy and productive, she and I will laugh together at the arguments we once had. But aside from that, I find that these experiences have taught both Chloe and me something. First, let me just say this. Chloe did wear the three quarter length sleeved shirt that day. And, believe it or not, she did end up eating the broken and now-off-the-floor granola bar. And would you believe it if I told you that she even ate the entire bowl of Apple Jacks about which she so strongly disapproved?

Parenting is miserable at times. There's no other way to put it. But in sticking to my guns and not giving into Chloe's pity parties, it would appear that I got through to her. Sure, it would have been much easier to say, "Fine, go choose a shirt!", "Okay then, here's a fresh, new, fully intact granola bar!", and finally, "Oh, you didn't want Apple Jacks? Well, sweetheart, let me just throw that cereal right down the drain since there aren't any starving children in Africa who wouldn't love to eat it for you! And what was it that you wanted instead of Apple Jacks? Cocoa Krispies? Can I sprinkle some sugar on it for you too?!" I did not do any of those things. Now, weeks later, does she still throw tantrums? Yes, she does. But to the same magnitude that she threw these? Generally, no. Of course she still has her days (don't we all?), but I am seeing huge improvements in her.

She certainly isn't going to grow up overnight, but little by little, we are making progress.

Backtracking to March: Everything else

2011-07-31T23:11:00.000-07:00

As a continuation of my last post, here's what's left to share of March's madness:

Ryan stopped "napping" somewhere around February/March. This was actually an improvement from Chloe, who gave up naps before her second birthday! Why do kids do this? Don't they know mom needs that two hour window of peace and quiet each day? While Ryan suddenly refused to take naps, that didn't necessarily mean he no longer needed them. And this was (and has continued to be) demonstrated time and time again by the many afternoons I'd discover him asleep on the floor, couch or wherever else.

Aside from refusing to take scheduled naps but still taking plenty of unscheduled naps, we found additional ways to occupy our time...

...like licking strawberry syrup off the floor.

...discovering new places to hide.

...exploring the pantry.

...and cleaning the bathroom!

(Couldn't help but smile and think of THIS when I discovered Ryan with the Comet.)

It was also a triumphant month for the potty trainers in the household.

Oh, and hello there, fashion statement! Who knew underwear over the pants could look so cool?

While we're talkin' potties and underwear, I should also mention that we helped encourage other little boys (ie, Ryan's cousin, James) to use the potty, too!

"See!? It's easy!"

And for those of you who still claim that Ryan looks bald,this one's for you.

Love those toes.

We took advantage of the blossoming orchards and snuck out one afternoon for pictures.

And as you can see, my subjects took their jobs very seriously.

We baked cookies with Janea and Tay...

...then worked them off with some good old Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred.

(Notice the cans on the floor, which were used as "weights")

We climbed the ladder into the attic -ALL BY OURSELVES- and played "house" while Ryan took an "unscheduled" nap and daddy carried up and stored storage bins.

We enjoyed some "girl time" one afternoon following preschool while sick Neil and tired Ryan napped inside.

Chloe picked the snacks.

We celebrated St. Patrick's Day with green jello, some peek-a-boos...

...and a yummy new recipe: Sloppy Joe Spaghetti Cups

(I used shredded chicken, not ground)

And speaking of food, we also had a picnic at the park.

...and shared lots of laughs over staticky hair and whatever else may have seemed funny at the time.

We planted an orange tree for Family Home Evening.

(Currently we have 2 oranges. They both look like limes right now, but it won't be long...)

I became a California driver...

...for the second time...

...passing the much dreaded, written test with flying colors (well, I missed 2). There's a really funny story behind this photo, which ultimately justifies it. After all, what adult, who's been driving legally for 13 years has her husband take a picture of her holding up her temporary California license? Let's just say it took 3 trips to the DMV to register my car and obtain a license successfully. In my defense, the list of documents needed to register a car were not up to date on their website, which explains one of my wasted trips. As for the other, they wouldn't accept my marriage certificate, even though we never received an actual license when we got married. So I had to go back and get my passport since I had nothing else to prove my married name was legit. Then, finally, on the third trip when I had everything I needed for my license and went to take the test, I ended up doing the front and back pages (18 questions on each side, 36 total), only to learn when I completed it and took the test up to the grouchy DMV lady, that I was actually only required to answer 18 of them (one side). So, in essence, I did twice the work that I had to, and, thankfully, passed BOTH times! Needless to say, I was pretty relieved to finally be done with the silly process, hence the photo. I know, I'm a nerd. But if you had any idea how much I hated tests (or the DMV) you'd understand.

Now, onto the next event of the month. My good friend, Tami put together a workshop for some photographers in the area. She lined up the models herself, did their hair and makeup (because she has multiple talents), and then let us loose with our cameras. It was a fun way to break the ice, learn from one another, practice without the pressure, and just have a good time. I'm not gonna lie. When we first moved to Ripon last Fall and I learned there were two photographers in our ward, I wasn't thrilled. But this experience was a good slap on the hand for me. I realized that I was being completely unreasonable and ultimately allowing my insecurities to get in the way of building wonderful relationships, which I've since done! Tami, Janea and Misty have grown to be some of my greatest friends, and certainly my closest here in Ripon. Since March, we've gotten together to let our kids play, we've had girls' nights out, we've done other shoots together, and we've talked endlessly about photography. It's been a huge blessing for me on many levels, and I'm grateful to Tami for opening that door and bringing us all together. She is an incredible photographer and person. She's also the first friend I had in Ripon, seeing that our husbands work together, so she'll always hold a special place in my heart. I'm fortunate to be a part of such a wonderful and talented circle of women.

Here are a few I took at the workshop. Still have a handful more, which I'll get to some day.

And here we are, hunting our prey. Misty took this.

It was a cold, rainy, windy day, and by the time we finished our feet were soaked from walking around in the tall, wet grass. It was worth it though.

{Of the photographers, Janea is second from the left, Misty is fourth from the right, and Tami and Amber are on the end.}

And I guess I ought to, in closing, mention this fun fact too (are you still awake?). During the month of March, the kids BOTH became obsessed with...

Superman! It all started one Wednesday evening when I came home from a youth activity to find Neil and Chloe watching Superman IV. It just happened to be on TV and according to Neil, Chloe was hooked the second he flipped it on. As I got dinner started and observed her out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't believe how into it she was. She wouldn't take her eyes off the screen and reacted so innocently and honestly when Superman or anyone else was in danger. At one point she even started jumping on the couch and cheering, "Yeaaaah! Goooo Superman!" when he defeated the bad guy. Well, we just happen to own the Superman collection and let's just say we are all too familiar with it now. The initial excitement has worn off a bit, but Chloe and Ryan still average a viewing of Superman at least three times a week. That's better than the twice a day they were requesting back in March and April! Chloe's favorite is Superman IV, probably because it's the first one of the movies she saw. Ryan's, on the other hand, is the first Superman, naturally, because of the "chuh chuh gah choo choo twain." Chloe also started going around repeating the phrase, "No pain, no gain!", which comes from the cheesy gym scene in IV. And because Chloe repeats it, Ryan has caught on and now says it too from time to time, too. Chloe has also figured out how to play the theme music melody on the piano AND on Ryan's play saxophone. No joke. Funny kids.

Wow, March turned out to be a lot more eventful than I realized! Hope you enjoyed.

Backtracking to March: New Beginnings

2011-07-31T00:24:00.000-07:00

In January and February I was on top of my blog, and planned (or rather, hoped) to maintain that habit for the rest of the year, but quickly fell behind around mid-March. So here I am, attempting to get back on track and make this blog current once again. My plan (or rather, hope) is, in the coming days, to compile a post for each month, summarizing the events I've failed to share along the way from March on. Let's see if I can do it.

On March 20th, we had our New Beginnings, which is an annual program for the young women of our church. Because I work with the young women, I had the pleasure of taking part in the planning and execution of this year's program. We used Jenny Phillips' Happily Ever After script, which worked beautifully. The theme was based around President Dieter F. Uchtdorf 's April 2010 Conference address, Your Happily Ever After, and much of his talk was quoted throughout the program. Here were my favorite bits and pieces:

"'Once upon a time' promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. it may include tales of courage, hope and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words "And they lived happily ever after." Isn't that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?

"Beloved young sisters, stay true to what you know is right Everywhere you look today, you will find promises of happiness. Ads in magazines promise total bliss if you will only buy a certain outfit, shampoo, or makeup. Certain media productions glamorize those who embrace evil or who give in to base instincts. Often these same people are portrayed as models of success and accomplishment. In a world where evil is portrayed as good and good as evil, sometimes it is difficult to know the truth . . . We all search for happiness, and we all try to find our own 'happily ever after.' The truth is, God knows how to get there! And He has created a map for you; He knows the way . . . All you have to do is trust your Heavenly Father. Trust Him enough to follow His plan." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf (Your Happily Ever After, April Conference 2010)

Modesty:

"You girls go and find the modest clothes and wear them, make them as beautiful as you can and be attractive and make up to your boyfriends in bright intellect and sweet spirit and attractive demeanor that which some girls can only do with their bodies. It is a pretty weak girl if she has only her body to attract somebody . . . Any young woman who conducts herself so as to be attractive spiritually, mentally, and physically, but will not by word, nor dress, nor act stir or stimulate to physical reactions, she is a jewel." - Spencer W. Kimball (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, pg. 285)

The need for adversity:

"We sometimes wonder: if the plan really is the great plan of happiness, why must we struggle to find the fullness of it in mortal life?

If you expect to find only ease and peace and bliss during Act II [mortality], you surely will be frustrated. You will understand little of what is going on and why things are permitted to be as they are.

Remember this! The line "And they lived happily ever after" is never written in the second act. That line belongs in the third act when the mysteries are solved and everything is put right." - Boyd K. Packer (Mine Errand from the Lord, pg. 3)

"For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale. In that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity. . . In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn ourselves. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy.

In our pursuit to reach 'happily ever after' we will inevitably face trials and adversity. We will also face our own weaknesses. We need strength beyond ourselves to make the journey. That is why our Heavenly Father sent His Son Jesus Christ to be our Savior. When the forests fill with darkness, and the wolves seek our souls, when we have lost our way, or when we feel we just can't go on, we can rely on the strength of the Lord.

'Happily ever after' is not something found only in fairy tales. You can have it! It is available for you! But you must follow your Heavenly Father's map.

Sisters, please embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ! Learn to love your Heavenly Father with all your heart, might, and mind. Fill your souls with virtue, and love goodness. Always strive to bring our the best in yourself and others . . . You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God. You are princesses, destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your "once upon a time" is now." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf (Your Happily Ever After, April Conference 2010)

I absolutely loved this whole concept about how we write our own story. Uchtdorf is brilliant. I just adore the man, and was so happy that the entire program was based on his wonderful talk.

Here are a few pictures...

That's my wedding dress on the far left.

I was in charge of the food.

Here are (most of) our wonderful young women!

I have never been in as much love with a group of young girls as I am with this group of young girls. They are a strong bunch, and I am continuously impressed by the things they say and the choices they make.

All in all it was a perfect evening. The program was uplifting and inspiring, and I think the leaders benefited from it as much as the girls did. It's always nice to be reminded of the simple truths we teach about week after week. After all, we are still writing our stories of "happily ever after."

Happy Birthday, Allison!

2011-07-30T10:47:00.001-07:00

Today's a special day! Know why? Because my sister-in-law is having a birthday!

{June 2011 - Jared and Lori's sealing (just a month away from having baby Todd)}

Allison, given the circumstances with the latest Andersen addition, I hope you get a nice long nap for your birthday! We love you!

Chloeless until Thursday

2011-07-26T00:42:00.001-07:00

My mom flew in last Monday for five days. I wish I could say we played lots, but we actually didn't. Most of the time she was here I was upstairs trying to catch up on wedding pictures while she occupied/played with/took care of the kids. We did get a little bit of play time in, but her main purpose this trip was to help me so I could work. I am now finished with two of my three June weddings, so I guess you could say mission accomplished, but I was a little sad at how quickly the week flew by and how little time I got with her. She was awesome and so helpful, just knowing what to do all the time and taking charge. I'm sure the kids absolutely wore her out, but she never complained once. Only smiles from Grandma Jill! Only smiles!

Neil and I snuck off to San Francisco on Friday with some old friends, Brett and Leslie, who were spending the weekend there for their 10 year anniversary! We hung out for the day and went to a Giants game, which I'll blog about when I have pictures loaded on my computer and ready to share.

My mom flew home on Saturday, and guess who she took with her? A while back she and my dad expressed interest in stealing Chloe for a few days before the school year began. We happily obliged. Chloe thought she was pretty hot stuff, and bragged about her much anticipated trip for days and even weeks leading up to Saturday. She even told her Primary teacher two Sundays ago that she was going on an airplane all by herself to visit her Grandma Jill and Grandpa Roy, and further, apologized in advance for not being at church the following Sunday. I think Chloe concerned her teacher just a tad because she went out of her way to talk to Neil about it after church that same day. He quickly clarified that yes, Chloe was going to fly on an airplane, but that she'd be accompanied by Grandma, and yes, she'd also miss church the following week due to her trip but that we had it all under control. I was sad to have to say goodbye to my mom, especially since this trip was really different from past trips and I hadn't quite gotten my 'mom fill' yet. And naturally, as I'd never done this before, I was also a little apprehensive about letting Chloe go. I knew she'd be just fine, and boy was she ready to hop on that plane! But I'll admit I didn't like saying goodbye one bit.

Such an independent little thing with her very own backpack and suitcase! She's gonna rock kindergarten!

"See ya, Mom!"

Notice her reading material in her right hand: If You Take a Mouse to the Movies, and her "cell phone" in the side pocket of her backpack. That's my old phone, which she now pretends is her phone.

It was strange driving home in a quiet, empty car. Ryan quickly acclimated to the freedom he could only enjoy a few short days before his sister returned. Just look at that face! Simply irresistable.

"This play dough is all mine!"

Chloe has called us each day and seems as happy and content as ever. My mom said she made quite a few friends at the airport and on the airplane, announcing her name and age to just about everyone she saw, and then asking for theirs. Typical. I'm so grateful for awesome parents who love their grandchildren and want to spend time with them. It's been a nice break, and wonderful enjoying some one on one time with my boy, but I'll be glad when Thursday rolls around and our family is once again complete.

Read on, read on...

2011-07-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

3 new blog posts, written and published within 15 hours of each other? I may have just broken a record! And yes, this really is Valeri, not someone who hacked into my account to make it appear as though I blog on a regular basis!

So what are you waiting for? Read on, read on... This may be a one time thing, after all.

New nephew!

2011-07-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

We have a new nephew! Todd Wesley Andersen was born to Jeff and Allison on the 12th of July at 11:16pm. We received a phone call from Jeff at 12:16am on the 13th, just an hour after Todd's birth. Jeff told Neil that he was itching to call someone to share the news, and since we were the only family on the West coast, he figured we were a safer bet than say, Grandma Susie or Brad and Courtney, who are East coast. I'm sure they would have welcomed a phone call at 3:16am with news of a new grandson or nephew, but it was nice of Jeff to let them sleep and awaken us instead. :)

Todd weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces and measured 20 inches. He looks pretty cute in the pictures I've seen, and I'm not gonna lie - I'm excited to snuggle with him at Lake Powell in September.

Good job, Allison! And congrats to you, Jeff and big brother, Grant! We love you!

New milestones

2011-07-16T15:37:00.000-07:00

Chloe has met some neat milestones as of late, so don't mind me while I brag for a few minutes.

First, she is swimming entirely on her own! She was right on the verge when she finished swim lessons last month (which I still need to blog about), but she got it for good on July 1st when some friends came over for a little swimming/lunch date. I think her desire to show off for them is what ultimately pushed her to that final step of trusting the same skills she'd been practicing in the shallow end, now in the deep end. I remember watching her jump off the diving board with no floating device and then successfully swimming to the edge, then getting out of the pool and doing it again like it was nothing. Initially I wasn't so sure, but I quickly realized that she really did have it down.

{It was quite a group - no wonder she felt the need to impress! From left to right: Brooklyn, Dylen, Chloe, Nikell, Max, Taylor, & Ryan}

Chloe is passionate about swimming. To say she loves it would be an understatement. She must get it from her daddy, who swam in high school, loved it, and still loves it to this day. Since the first day of summer, Chloe has only missed a few days out of the pool. Even this week, while it's cooled down, she's still jumped in the water with no hesitation. The high 70s pool temp hasn't even phased her. Brr!!

{June 2011 - Swim lessons at Ripon High School}

Chloe also ditched her training wheels this week! This has been quite the battle, and I think it goes without saying that Neil and I are relieved it is over. Back in May Neil raised her training wheels, which did not go over well with Chloe. She was comfortable with where they were and didn't see the purpose in learning to ride without them. We had to practice some serious tough love to get her where she is now, but it paid off. She resisted big time, and actually didn't even touch her bike for three solid weeks. But last week she showed renewed interest and determination. Neil took her training wheels off all together last weekend, and held onto her bike while she practiced riding it. Then they went back outside Wednesday afternoon and within a matter of minutes she was riding entirely on her own. At one point I heard her say, "I can't believe I'm really doing it! I feel so good!" We were proud watching her, and I'm happy, for every one's sake, that this is behind us. Since Wednesday, we've taken two bike rides as a family, and this morning I pushed Ryan in the jogging stroller during my run while Chloe rode beside me. Since then she's probably asked me sixteen times when we can go on another bike ride. She's hooked! It's pretty neat watching her expression as she rides. She's still genuinely astonished by her new skill, and proud, too, which she ought to be! It's a huge accomplishment! I think it will also provide great teaching opportunities in the future when Neil and I talk with her about overcoming fears and accomplishing goals, even when they seem near impossible as riding her bike with no training wheels did for so long.

{Taken on the 13th. Neil followed closely behind until Chloe politely requested that he back away. He happily obliged.}

So between all the swimming and bike riding Chloe has filled her time with this summer, she's also been counting down the days until kindergarten begins. Today's count: 25. Twenty five days!! That's all I have left with my little girl until she's gone all day long, five days a week! We received a welcome letter last month from the school she'll be attending. And I'll openly admit that I got choked up opening the envelope.

It's incredible to me that we're entering this new stage of life. I've been preparing myself for a good year, but now that's it's only a short three and a half weeks away, I'm beginning to feel that mother's apprehension people speak of. Chloe is ready for kindergarten, there's no doubt about it. She thrives on structure, learning opportunities and socialization. She also needs it, I'm afraid. Not just the predictable schedule, but learning to take orders graciously from other adults, shrug things off and not get so upset, practice patience, and see the consequences of her actions and attitude in a setting outside of home. Chloe can be overly sensitive and dramatic about insignificant things, and can still throw a pretty impressive tantrum. In fact, I wrote about two (fairly) recent instances, which I'll share in another post soon. Chloe is also a negotiator, but she can be reasoned with, and is more than willing to cooperate when a favorable proposition is placed before her. She practices good behavior beautifully when she knows there's a reward to be earned. But while it's important to be recognized and rewarded, Neil and I are also trying to teach her that there isn't always going to be a pat on the back for every good choice she makes. Of course it's crucial, especially at this age, for us to boost her confidence, build her self esteem, and help her see her worth, but she also needs to learn satisfaction from simply knowing in her heart that she's done a good thing, and not having to depend every single time on the recognition of others. Also, sometimes we just do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, whether someone else sees it or not.

August 10th is the day!

Friday night thoughts

2011-07-15T23:54:00.001-07:00

It's Friday night. I'm drinking hot apple cider. Yes, in the middle of July. It's cooled down this last week and we have thoroughly enjoyed turning off the a/c and opening up the windows. I think Wednesday's high was 80. Perfect. I'm sure this weather's short-lived, but I'll enjoy it while I can. Anyway, this apple cider is tasting pretty good, and after a long day of playing catch up from yet another busy week, I'd say it's well deserved. I made some headway on wedding photos today, and while I really ought to be back at it, I think I'm going to indulge just a bit and write. I'm in the mood to write, don't get to do it very often, and happen to have something to share, so here goes...

This evening as I was rinsing dishes, I had the following thought:

"It would be so nice if for one day, there were no dishes to rinse."

Well, then I started thinking about all the other things that I'd love to NOT have to deal with for one day. Laundry. Sticky floors. Toilets (specifically after Ryan has done his business). Toys cluttering my floors. Whining. Before I got too carried away with my thoughts, my initial thought about the dishes came fluttering back to my mind, which was then replaced by this thought:

"But isn't it nice that I have dishes to rinse? Chances are, if there were no dishes to rinse, there would be no family to dirty them. And if there were no family to dirty them, well, that would probably make for a pretty lonely me."

Then I smiled. Really, I did. Because right then and there it hit me just how lucky I am.

I'm sure this thought stemmed from a recent conversation I had with my mom about housework. In empathizing with my struggle to maintain a consistently clean home, she expressed her gratitude for a husband who wants to spend time with her. She said that sometimes, as a result of the time she and my dad spend together reading, watching old movies, taking walks, or enjoying a long, meaningful discussion, the dishes sit on the counter, waiting to be rinsed. She concluded, however, that she'd rather have a dusty, disorganized home and a devoted husband who absolutely adores her (which he does!), than a spotless, organized home and no husband (or one who would rather golf with his buddies than spend time with her). {Might I add, these parents, of whom I speak, will celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary this September?} While it's a simple concept, it's had a lasting impact on me, and tonight I thought up my own version of it.

By the time I put my kids to bed every night I feel spent. My back is achy, my patience is low, and I'm generally overwhelmed by the tasks that still lie ahead, both that night (since that's commonly the only time I can depend on getting anything done) and the following day. And while the last thing I feel like doing, after stumbling down the stairs, is tackling any dish, laundry pile, sticky spot on the floor, or stubborn child who refuses to go to sleep, I wouldn't have it any other way.

{June 2010 - courtesy of Danette Kay Photography}

"Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." - Gordon B. Hinckley

Time Out For Women recap: Saturday

2011-07-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here, finally, is Saturday's recap of Time Out For Women! I mean, it was only 3 months ago! No biggie, right? Be warned that this is probably the longest post I've ever written. It is also filled with spiritual goodies, so read it if you will, or just take a quick gander. Friday's recap can be found here.

{left to right: Brittney, me, Kendra, Tina and Jenna}

Saturday's speakers included Mariama Kallon, DeAnne Flynn, Laurel Christensen, Wendy Ulrich and Mary Ellen Edmunds. And Hilary Weeks provided the music. I fell in love with Hilary instantly. Not only is she pretty to look at with a voice that will blow your socks off, but she is also eloquent, thoughtful, down to earth and very funny! In between the speakers she would get up and share a thought, then conclude it with a song or two. It became more and more evident to me as I listened to her that behind each song she has written, there is a story, a purpose and plenty of inspiration to be found. Hilary has four daughters and talked a lot about her adventures in motherhood. She definitely spoke to my heart and I look at her in a whole new light now.

For Mother's Day, my mom got me Hilary's recent book, Bedtime and Naptime... and Naptime and Bedtime, which I read in its entirety the very day I received it. It contains words of wisdom, inspiring scriptures and quotes, a few of Hilary's favorite recipes, and countless pick me ups that will lift any mom's spirits. There's also a bonus CD containing a handful of famous songs to which she's changed the lyrics to reflect some of her own thoughts on motherhood. She's hilarious. Here's a preview:

Chloe just watched this video and said, "Mommy, she sounds like Maria! Is it her with long hair?"

Hilary touched on a few topics, but two in particular stood out to me, and that's what I'd like to share with you. She started off with this:

"Extraordinary moments can happen in the middle of ordinary days."

I love this! But wait until you hear this sweet story, which she shared with us, and which can also be found on page 69 of her book:

"I was on a mother-daughter dinner date with Calli, who was nine at the time. Through a mouthful of macaroni and cheese, Calli giggled as she recounted a game of freeze tag she played during recess that day.

Then it hit me...

I will spend eternity knowing Calli as an adult. But tonight, right here, right now, and for the next few precious years, I have the rare privilege of knowing her as a child.

What a gift to experience the children in our lives as children!

For a brief moment during the journey of mortality, we get to watch them laugh, learn, experience and grow.

Yes, in the middle of an ordinary day it was an extraordinary moment."

I Loooo-ooooo-ooooove this concept! And isn't it true that the moments we tend to remember and cherish most are the simple, ordinary ones?

Hilary also talked about the power of thoughts. She had heard at a recent Relief Society dinner that the average person has 300 negative thoughts each day, and she wanted to put it to the test. So she purchased a clicker to record the number of negative thoughts she had over the course of several days. She shares the story on her blog, and you can read Part I of III here. Her number of negative thoughts varied a bit day by day, but mostly remained consistent until day six, when they shot way up. In Hilary's own words:

"After almost a week of clicking, I woke up one morning and felt really, really down. I was outright depressed. I felt sad and discouraged – and I had absolutely no reason to feel that way. Then it dawned on me… It was the experiment. By simply “clicking” the negative thoughts I was giving them enough attention and consequently enough power to effect my mood. John Kehoe, author of Mind Power said, “Although a single unaided thought hasn’t much power, through repetition the thought can become concentrated and directed, and its force can be magnified many times. The more the thought is repeated the more energy and power it generates, and the more readily it is able to manifest itself.”

Unexpected. Truly. I had no idea that paying even the slightest bit of attention to those negative thoughts could have that kind of effect on me. It wasn’t as if I dwelled on them once they came into my mind – NO, not at all. I actually tried to chase them away. But the click. The click acknowledged them enough to give the negative thoughts the ability to change my mood and outlook. So…I decided to go a new direction with my experiment."

So she goes on... (Read all of Part II here)

"I was really surprised by the effect that simple, tiny act of “clicking” each negative thought had on my mood. I guess that is why King Benjamin told us in the Book of Mormon to “watch ourselves and our thoughts.” And maybe that is why we are told in the Doctrine and Covenants to “let virtue (or power) garnish our thoughts unceasingly.”

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking? Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained, too small to have its effect. The divinity that shapes our ends is indeed in ourselves.”

The first day, I counted 321 clicks! By Day four…(I was totally shocked when I saw this) One thousand, two hundred and sixty two!! That’s…1,262! My spirit seemed to soar – I felt so happy. My circumstances hadn’t changed one bit, only the focus of my thoughts had. I loved creating positive thoughts. That is much more fun than trying to block or chase away the negative ones."

Sorry I'm not paraphrasing very well. Hilary made it too easy to just quote her since she documented the whole story in her blog. And between her eloquent writing skills and the scriptures and quotes she shares along the way, there really is no alternative. :)

Part III, which can be found here, goes a little something like this:

"Ironically, last week, I was eating chips, salsa and a smothered burrito at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants while simultaneously thinking about running six miles. I like to run. But only two or three miles. Not six. But I did it recently – I RAN SIX MILES. As I took a sip from my strawberry colada, I tried to figure out how on Earth I did that? And then it hit me. I ran six miles during the height of “clicking” my positive thoughts. I’m telling the truth.

That is exactly when it happened. I was seriously able to run six miles on my treadmill and I am pretty dang sure it was a side-effect of my positive thinking. The last time I ran that far was…um…let me think…oh ya, High School. I don’t run six miles. I’m not a six-miler. I’m not. But during that week, during the flow of positive thoughts, my body, lungs, heart and muscles were strengthened and empowered just as much as my mind was. It was quite a realization."

In her closing remarks, Hilary shared these two quotes:

"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." - Elder Richard G. Scott (from The Transforming Power of Faith and Character, Ensign, Nov. 2010)

"Our mind wants to do everything we tell it to do.” - Jana Call

...as well as this scripture: Philippians 4:8, concluding that when we think about those things (ie, things that are true, honest, just, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy), we become those things.

Okay, okay. Enough about Hilary. Sheesh, I've probably already exhausted you, and I'm only getting started!

MARIAMA KALLON
Saturday's first speaker was Mariama Kallon, a women from Africa, and a survivor of an atrocious war in Sierra Leon who endured a terrifying childhood. She shared the story of witnessing the violent murders of her parents and siblings, and talked about her journey to overcoming the heartaches and finding joy. To say both her presence and messages were powerful would be a huge understatement. She was endearing on all levels, and by the end of her talk I wanted to hug her! And, I did, in fact, during the next break! I couldn't help myself!

Look at her! She's radiant! Don't mind my swollen, puffy eyes. Lots of tears were shed this day.

Mariama, who was first introduced to the church when she received a hygiene kit - something she'd forever hold onto as a symbol of hope, soon thereafter was baptized and called to serve in the Salt Lake City Temple Square mission. She shared a few tender stories about her experiences as a missionary. In one she recounts how it made her sad when the other sister missionaries received letters and packages from their families. Mariama, after all, had no family, and no one to receive a letter or package from! The other sister missionaries felt terrible for Mariama and wrote home to their own mothers requesting that they send something to her. It wasn't long before Mariama was receiving more packages than anyone else! Rightfully so. I loved that.

She shared a second story about her mission, where she, one morning, snuck into a closet at the Visitor's center on Temple Square. She had been yearning to teach someone from Africa the gospel, and that morning in particular she was praying extra hard. A video was then played where in her Mission President shares the rest of the story. He explained that he was on Temple Square that same day, and suddenly saw Mariama running towards the South Gate. Confused, he asked what she was doing, to which she explained she was going to meet someone. It turns out, during her prayer, she felt strongly compelled to stand up right then and run to the South gate. She knew in her heart someone would be there, and within five minutes, a black man, who turned out to be from Ghana, a West African village not far from where she grew up, walked by. Right there her prayer was answered. She was able to share the gospel with him, and gosh, if I remember right, he later joined the church.

In conclusion to this story, Mariama said, "Sometimes you have to get up and run. You can't just wait for the blessings to come." As this was true in her situation with meeting the Ghana man at the South Gate, so it is true in our own lives. I loved this message, and her. I actually ran into her in the bathroom at the Salt Lake Temple (of all places) when I was there last month for Jared and Lori's sealing. I hugged her again, and told her how much she inspired me at TOFW. She's a sweet, sweet lady.

DEANNE FLYNN
DeAnne Flynn was the next speaker. The theme of her talk was the "Mother's Mite", also the title of her recent book. She likened a mother's mite to the widow's mite, found in Mark 12:42-44, explaining that just as this widow cast 2 mites (which is all that she had) into the treasury, we as mothers selflessly contribute whatever it is that we have. And while our humble, little offerings may not seem significant at the time, they undeniably make a difference in the lives of those we love.

Some other thoughts she shared are as follows:

"Choose to become more aware of the small things that make a large difference. Paying attention costs nothing but it pays off."

"When we hurry less, we notice more. When we talk less, we hear more. When we expect less, we learn more."

"Choose to become less complicated."

"Home is just a place where you an practice for Heaven."

"Overlook greater proficiency for even greater potential."

And finally, she concluded with a story from her childhood involving her mother and a vacuum cleaner. DeAnne's mother was vacuuming the floor one day when DeAnne decided to climb on and enjoy a little ride. Now where many mothers (including myself), would normally discourage this (hey, when I'm in the middle of an unpleasant task such as vacuuming, I want to get it over with as quickly as possible), DeAnne's mother welcomed her and continued pushing the vacuum carrying little DeAnne along with her right to the end. What a sweet image. While DeAnne described her mother as being "efficient and ambitious", she further stated that "Her top priority wasn't speed and efficiency, it was me!" I love the gentle message this story conveys of taking the time for the more important things.

LAUREL CHRISTENSEN
Probably my favorite speaker of the day was Laurel Christensen, who spoke about faith, and living with faith. She started off be sharing a story about Florence Chadwick, who was the first women to swim the English Channel. A couple years later she attempted to swim from the Southern California coast to Catalina Island, which was a 21 mile stretch. The water was 48 degrees and the fog was thick. She eventually gave up out of exhaustion and frustration, only to learn, as she was pulled into the support boat, that she was at mile 20.5 - a HALF MILE from the finish line! She swam 20.5 miles of her 21 mile journey, and then quit, because she couldn't see the shoreline.

A similar thing had almost happened on her earlier attempt to swim the English Channel. The fog was too much and Florence became discouraged. But this time, when she wanted to be pulled into the boat, it was her father who pointed out how close she was to shore. Florence lifted her head, saw land, and finished what she started.

Laurel likened Florence Chadwick's father, who coached Florence along, especially near the end when she wanted to give up, to our Father in Heaven, who coaches us through life. He knows how close to shore we are, even if we can't see it ourselves. And even though we can't see it ourselves, we know it's there because we trust Him, and we trust that He will help get us there. So often in life we want to just give up. But who's to say, at that very moment, we're not at mile 20.5?

I loved Laurel's message of relying on the Lord and never giving up. She shared a handful of other thoughts that I'd like to share:

"Pray with faith. Think with faith. Live with faith."

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

...but not without faith or the reliance of the Lord!

"Rely on what the Lord knows you can do, not what you don't think you can do." (Ephesians 3:20)

"Hope is about wanting what I want. Faith is about wanting what God wants."

"Instead of continually praying for something, ask the Lord if that's what you should be praying for."

I love these concepts she shared, and how true it is that we need to accept God's will, even when it's sometimes inconvenient for us. After all, He knows much better than we do how close we are to the shoreline. He will guide us there if we let Him.

In closing, Laurel shared a story about Joseph and Emma Smith. Emma wanted a blessing, but Joseph was headed to Carthage jail and couldn't be there to give her one. So he told her to write out the blessing she'd hoped to receive and send it to him. He said he would then sign it, and it would be so. You can read what she wrote here. Pretty incredible story of faith on both ends - Joseph, for trusting that the desires of his wife's heart would be consistent with that of the Lord's; and Emma, for trusting her husband's Priesthood power and closeness to the Spirit.

Laurel then challenged us to write the blessing we would each hope to receive and then take it to the Lord and ask him if it be right, and if it be okay to ask for it. Love it.

Are you asleep yet? I'm almost finished, I promise!

MARY ELLEN EDMUNDS
Mary Ellen was a hoot! I adored this woman right from the start, and think she was definitely right up there with Laurel among my faves of the day. She spoke on identify theft, in a spiritual sense, and not forgetting who we are. Her ideas were cleverly executed, and she captivated me with her quirkiness and wit.

Here are some of things she shared:

In talking about Satan, she referred to him as, "stupid-what's-his-face", and then said, "I like to call him that. I think it annoys him." (tee heeee)

"You really are a child a God!"

"One of the greatest ways to guard against identity theft is to talk to your Father. Ask Him if He knows you and tell Him what's in your heart."

Mary Ellen also touched on the comfort and guidance a Patriarchal blessing can provide, concluding, "It's amazing to see how relevant things remain even as time passes by."

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." - Doctrine and Covenants 6:36

Here's a video that I found on YouTube of Mary Ellen reciting my absolute favorite quote of the day.

"God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. He does not have to deal with us in the mass. You are as much alone with him as if you were the only being he had ever created. When Christ died, he died for you individually, just as much as if you had been the only person in the world." - C.S. Lewis

Wow! Just, wow! What an incomprehensibly beautiful way to describe our worth. And I love Mary Ellen's remarks after sharing this quote: "Don't try to figure out how He does that, just know that He does." What a comfort to know we are not responsible for understanding, only accepting and enjoying.

"Today you are you. That is true-er than true. There is no one alive that is you-er than you!" - Dr. Seuss

In closing, Mary shared the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, explaining that we are like that rabbit. And no matter what imperfections we may possess, we are still unique, special and real. We are children of God, and He loves us.

WENDY ULRICH
Wendy Ulrich was the final speaker. Her talk was different from everyone else's in that it was very structured, more like a lecture. In it she touched on seven different ideas that should give us hope in our lives. They are as follows:

1 - Stop worrying about your weaknesses. Build on your strengths. Wendy served a mission at age twenty one, and said it was one of the worst eighteen months of her life. During that time she realized many of her weaknesses, and felt they held her back from fulfilling many of her missionary responsibilites. Years later, her husband was called as a Mission President for the Canada Montreal mission. Wendy initially thought this was her opportunity to redeem herself, until she realized she still carried with her many of those same weaknesses from several years prior. Then, in a "moment of absolute clarity", she felt a voice say, "I did not call you on a mission for your weaknesses. I called you on a mission for your strengths. Serve with your strengths."

2 - Don't try to get motivated to exercise. Wendy talked about how motivation follows action. She'd recently read an article in Runner's magazine about how one runner generally tricked himself into running each day. He would start by putting on his running clothes, not because he was going running, but because they were comfortable. Then, he would go to the door, not because he was going running, but because he wanted to see what it was like outside. Then, he would start walking down the street, not because he was going running, but because he wanted to see if his neighbor was outside. Before he knew it, he was running. And such is life. Sometimes we need to trick ourselves into doing the things that are good for us. In the end, we'll be glad we did.

3 - Stop trying to find friends. Instead develop the skills of friendship. Try to have at least one meaningful conversation each day. The friendships will come.

4 - Don't try to feel happy. Try to feel grateful. Does wonders on our mood. Wendy challenged us to write down 3 good things that happened each day, then write down why those things happened. Wendy explained that by reflecting not only on the good things but why those good things happened, we are reminded of reasons to be grateful, which, in turn, should make us feel happy.

5 - Celebrate failure. "If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly." It is, after all, through our mistakes that we often learn the greatest lessons.

6 - Don't get help with your problems. Instead, help someone else. After all, Science has found it to be the single most reliable way to better our mood! And in the words of Gordon B. Hinckley's father, "Forget yourself and go to work." It is often in our deepest, darkest hours, that we must give our problems to the Lord, and turn to others and serve.

7 - Don't endure to the end. She shared President Gordon B Hinckley's famous quote, "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." Savour everyday delights. Brainstorm five different tiny pleasures you can do that can bring you more joy.

All in all, Wendy had an unlifting message of hope and how we can achieve hope and happiness in our lives.

I left Fresno Saturday afternoon feeling rekindled, reassured, renewed, and ready to face the inevitable real life that was awaiting me at home. It was an awesome experience, and I hope to go to TOFW again someday.

Patriotic painting

2011-07-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

Chloe painted this for me this morning completely out of the blue and on her very own. I was impressed.

I hope everyone had a safe and memorable 4th of July! We did! Pictures to come, eventually.

June Bride(s)

2011-06-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

"Oh, they say when you marry in June, you're a bride, all your life."

The first person who can tell me which movie I just quoted will receive $5 from yours truly.

Speaking of June brides, I shot three weddings this month!! Umm, yeah. Not a common thing for me. Before this month, I'd probably shot a total of three weddings - EVER! Yep. Three. I just counted. Strange coincidence, but how wonderful to get to double my experience and capture these special days! I have so much more to say, particularly about event #2, but that'll have to wait until I have a few more pictures edited to accompany all my words. :) For now, here's a shot of each of my June brides (with their grooms).

David and Amber - 11 June 2011, 11:00am (Mount Timpanogos LDS Temple)

Jared and Lori (and Katie) - 11 June 2011, 4:20pm (Salt Lake LDS Temple)

Dave and Kellee - 25 June 2011, 3:00pm (Dickson residence in Pleasanton, CA)

What can I say? I'm a sucker for kissy shots!

Congrats to all, and especially my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, Lori and Jared, and their sweet little Katie, to whom they were sealed.

Bedtime with Chloe

2011-06-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

Last night as I was tucking Chloe into bed we had the following conversation:

Chloe: "Mommy, do you wish you had a third child?"

Me: "Well, sure! I'd love to have another baby someday. But it's not entirely up to me."

Chloe: "It's up to Daddy?"

Me: "Well, he has some say, sure! But it's ultimately up to Heavenly Father and whether or not he feels like we need another baby in our family."

Chloe (after some contemplation): "What if Heavenly Father thought you should have eight kids?"

Me: "Well, that would be news to me!"

Chloe (now giggling): "What if Heavenly Father thought you should have a hundred kids?"

{slight pause}

Chloe: "Then we'd have to buy a lot of cereal, wouldn't we?"

As if cereal would be at the top of our list of concerns with one hundred children!

While this post is neither an announcement or a foreshadow of upcoming events, I will have to say that Chloe would make a wonderful big sister. Within recent weeks she's started to show an increased level of maturity and understanding that I've never seen before. Now combine that with her already nurturing instincts, and I'm convinced she'd be of great help to me with a new baby in the house. Guess for the time being she'll just have to continue practicing on her dolls and brother when he'll let her.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

Dollar scoop Tuesday!

2011-06-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

Last night we took the kiddies to Baskin Robbins for their $1 scoop Tuesday special. We had planned to ride our bikes since it's only a mile from our house, until we discovered that it was still 100 degrees out at 7:00pm. That's when we opted for an air conditioned car ride instead. It was a cool, refreshing treat for all, and a perfect way to kick off the new season!

Well hello there, summer!

2011-06-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of summer and I believe it! Unlike Colorado where you rarely know which season you're in because snow falls in June and 75 degrees in February isn't so uncommon, California weather is a bit more predictable. Summer has been upon us for a few weeks now, between swim lessons, watermelon, evening bike rides, bare feet, wandering the local Farmer's Market, getting acquainted with our swimming pool, grilling burgers, sun screen, rosy cheeks, popsicles, buying cutesy water bottles to keep us hydrated through the scorching next few months, building a tan, more swimming, and finally, though we resisted as long as we could, turning on the air conditioning.

Today's high? 102! And according to weather.com, it's exactly that right now. This is the first day that 2011 has seen triple digits, and only the first of many, I'm afraid. Appropriate though, I suppose, since today is the first day of summer. I say bring it! If I endured Vacaville's summer heat waves for twenty years, I can certainly get used to Ripon's now!

Happy Summer!

Celebrating...

2011-06-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my little "sister" celebrated her 29th birthday. I love Lori for so many reasons, and the more I spend time with and get to know her, the more I respect and adore her. I have many memories of Lori, now going back nearly a decade (crazy!!), which I'll forever hold dear to my heart. I am grateful to have her in my life. Happy Birthday, Lori Jean!

{This was taken last weekend in Salt Lake right after Jared, Lori and their sweet little Katie-Bug were sealed for time and eternity. }

Another thing that makes Lori special is that she shares a birthday with my Grandma Ruth Butterfield, who would have turned ninety-two yesterday. I wish I'd had more time in this life with my Grandma Ruth, and the time I did have with her I wish I'd cherished more, but I am so grateful for the memories I have and for my mom's, aunts', uncle and cousins' memories, many of which they've shared with me. My mom told me that whenever there was contention in their home growing up, whether it be a sibling squabble or someone simply having a bad day, my grandma would often sit at the piano and play "Love at Home." To this day I can hardly get through the hymn without crying. Yesterday, in fact, we sang it in Sacrament Meeting and I was holding back the tears. What a strong message that quiet and simple act conveyed. And what a gift one has when she can make a point without saying a word. My mom says she never heard her mother raise her voice. And she never spoke an unkind word about anyone. It's no wonder my mom is the kind woman she is, not to mention her brother, Vee, and sisters, Pat, Carolyn and Valeri. I am grateful for the legacy my grandma left behind and I can't wait to see her again someday. Happy Birthday, Grandma Ruth!

{From left to right: my mom, age six, Grandma Ruth, Uncle Vee, Grandpa VeLoy and Aunt Pat}

Yesterday was also Father's Day!

When I think about the men who have touched my life, my dad instantly comes to mind. He was, after all, the first man in my life! I love him so much. As far back as I can remember we've been close, and I think it's safe to say we always will be. Some of my favorite things about my dad include his warm, loving nature, his love for his family, and how giving he is of his time. He's never in a hurry and makes you feel as though he has all the time in the world. To me that is invaluable. I hope my dad knows how much I admire and love him.

{1981 & 2002: two of my favorite pictures ever taken of us. They go together so perfectly.}

{This was taken at Hogle Zoo last summer. I think if Chloe had to choose her favorite person it would be Grandpa Roy. She loves him more than I ever thought a five-year-old was capable of loving another human being. There's no denying that these two have a lasting bond.}

My dad-in-law, David, has also touched my life. He has one of the kindest hearts of any man I've ever met, and values his family greatly. While we don't get to see much of each other, I think of him often and am grateful for his love and support. I especially love his occasional phone calls and emails where he simply tells me that he loves and appreciates me. Those small acts of kindness mean more to me than he knows. I really hope to get to see him within the next few months. It's been too long!

{This was taken during our Christmas trip to Atlanta in 2005. Chloe was just five weeks old. My, how time flies...}

Even having never met Neil's dad, Grant, who passed away when Neil was six, I still love this man like a father. Neil remembers him well, and has shared with me facts about him and memories he has. Neil's mom and his aunt and uncle have also shared with me bits and pieces of his life, and I am convinced he was an incredible man. I can't wait to meet Grant one day, and in the meantime I will continue to cherish the pictures I can hold in my hand and the fond memories others have shared of their time with him on this earth.

Yesterday I was glancing through pictures of the kids I took last week during their swim lessons and happened upon this one of Neil and Ryan, which reminded me of a picture that was taken roughly 30 years ago.

{It looks like Ryan and Neil are about the same age in these pictures. Can you believe the similarities? And what a perfect discover to make on Father's Day!}

And finally, I must honor my husband, who is amazing in so many ways. It's pretty much impossible for me to express in words my love and appreciation for Neil, so I'm not going to try. He knows how I feel. :) He is the fun and silly father I always hoped my children would have, as well as the supportive and playful husband I always hoped I would have! Chloe and Ryan love their dad so much and watching them giggle and wrestle together on the floor brings joy to my soul.

{The kids were so excited to present their Father's Day gift to Neil. And as you can see, he shared their enthusiasm.}

I hope everyone else out there had a very Happy Father's Day!

Something every mom should read

2011-06-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this "letter" on parenting.com's blog this morning and had to share. Perhaps it's because I appreciate this mom's raw honesty and can relate to her dilemma. Or maybe it's because I think anyone who reads my blog deserves a good laugh to start off their week! Either way, enjoy. (See direct link HERE.)

Dearest Children,

Some questions have arisen recently with regards to chores and I thought I’d address your concerns in writing.

Regarding your question – Why do we have to do chores EVERY DAY? We do chores every day because you trash the house every day. If you stop eating, wearing clothes, playing with toys, using the bathroom and throwing your personal effects on the floor, the chores will cease.

For now, I caution you to carefully choose the time and place to begin a discussion about chores and their fairness. For example, when I am currently scrubbing puddles of dried urine from the floor around your toilet, it’s probably not the best time to yell about how unfair it is that you have to pick up the books you were reading. P.S. My aim is better than yours and that’s probably not fair either.

When I was young, I remember me or one of my siblings tearfully telling my mom, “But Mom, I’m not like you, I don’t LIKE doing chores.” She laughed at that comment. To this day I’m not sure why but I’d like to tell you something similar. I’m not like my mom. I don’t LIKE doing chores. That’s why I had kids, so I’d have someone to do all the work for me. If you’re sick of doing chores, grow up and have your own kids.

Sometimes you ask me to have mercy and let you watch a movie or play outside before you get your chores done. I rarely give in and I’ll tell you why. Every time I give in and let you do something fun before work, you have a total meltdown when the fun is over and it’s time for chores to start. If you could find it in your mental and emotional reserves to not go nuclear when it was chore time, I’d find it in my mental and emotional reserves to be more flexible with the scheduling.

Speaking of scheduling, I will now clue you in to one of the great mysteries of successful time management – If you don’t take forever to do something, it won’t take forever to get it done. It’s a simple principle, really. If you move slower than a dead person, your chores will never be finished. If, by contrast, you move your body, you may find that you have a couple of minutes left at the end of a grueling day of making your own bed to enjoy some leisure time.

I hope this has been helpful and enlightening. Have a marvelous day in the trenches!

Love,
Mom

Happy Monday, everyone!

Sunday dinner conversation

2011-06-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight's dinner conversation was a little more entertaining than usual. It went a little somethin' like this:

ME, trying to convince Ryan to eat his dinner (as if that's anything new): "Ryan, do you remember the cookies I made last night? You got to eat one on the way to church for getting dressed?" (Yes, I bribed my son with a cookie for putting his clothes on this morning.)
RYAN: "Yeah?"
ME: "So what do you need to do in order to get another cookie?"
RYAN: "Be nice."
{CORRECT ANSWER: "Eat your dinner."}

Just then a third party chimes into the conversation.
CHLOE: "You made ALL those cookies by yourself?"
ME: "Yes!"
CHLOE: "After we went to bed last night?"
ME: "Yes!"
CHLOE: "Really?"
ME: "Yes!"
CHLOE: "Holy cow, girl!"

I should have said this earlier but Ryan's response to virtually every question beginning with, "What do you have to do in order to______?" is, "Be nice." "...get a treat?" "...go to JD's house?" "...ride your bike?" "...talk to Grandma" "...not go back to timeout?" Relevant or not, "Be nice" is his answer.

And Chloe calling me, "girl"? I don't know where she comes up with this stuff! Sometimes she acts more like a teenager than a five year old.

They make me laugh.

Stinky and joyful

2011-06-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

Ryan is growing into quite the little stink. Believe it or not, he has started taking punches at his sister, hitting the nearest thing in sight, and even yelling or throwing objects when he doesn't get his way. I am learning a pattern, or should I say becoming reacquainted with one which another child, who will remain unnamed, followed when she was Ryan's same age.

One night about a month ago, after teeth had been brushed, bladders had been emptied, arguments had been resolved, songs had been sung, and prayers had been said, it was time for bed. Just as we were ready to tuck kiddos in so that Neil and I could enjoy a few moments of sanity before collapsing ourselves, Chloe realized she'd left her blanket downstairs. It was at this same moment that I realized Ryan's blanket had also been left downstairs.  My initial thought was to have Chloe grab it since she was heading down there anyway, however I knew that this could potentially result in disaster.  So instead I gave Ryan the option of getting it himself or letting Chloe. Sometimes he's perfectly willing to let her do things for him. Sometimes he's not. The key is convincing him that he's in control and that the decision is his to make, not someone else's.  Well, as I suspected, "I do it!" was Ryan's response. That, along with "I don't like that" are two of his favorites these days. Now top that with it already being past his bedtime, when he tends to be a little more unreasonable, irrational, possessive, demanding, and whiny than usual, and the prediction is simple. He was going to go get his blanket, NOT Chloe!

Well, poor Chloe, in an attempt to be helpful, and obviously not having heard my conversation with Ryan, had already raced down the stairs before I even had a chance to tell her to leave Ryan's blanket behind. In fact, she was three quarters of the way back up just as Ryan was approaching the stairs to go down. You can imagine the sheer terror in his eyes when he spotted his blanket in Chloe's arms. She quickly handed it off to him, but the damage had already been done. With tears in his eyes, he threw himself onto the floor and started screaming like an honest, healthy, and very tired two-year-old would!  About ninety seconds in, he slammed the blanket onto the floor and proceeded to kick it down the stairs, screaming the entire way, until he and the blanket had reached the bottom. After all, the only way to gain complete control back was to undo Chloe's good deed.

About twenty minutes later when Ryan had finally settled down, we were trying to determine where he was going to sleep. Ever since we transformed his crib into a toddler bed, Ryan has preferred sleeping on his floor. On occasion he'll choose to sleep in his bed, but because I never know, I've just added the question, "bed or floor?" to our nightly routine.  Well earlier this week, Ryan had become more particular than usual about where on the floor his head would lie. He has this soft monkey mat (from Aunt Sue) that he sleeps on, and always wants his pillow in a specific place on this mat. For some reason though, I just couldn't get it right. It didn't matter where I put the silly mat or where I placed the pillow on the mat. His reaction was inevitably the same: throwing head back, more crying, followed by a, "Nooooooo!  Ight dier!" ("right there"), while pointing two inches from the current location of his mat and pillow. I'm sure this partially stemmed from the episode that took place twenty minutes prior, but either way, it was absurd and a little over the top. He did eventually give in and sleep but not without a good fight.

While these stories illustrate the events of a single night, they also represent a lot of habits and tendencies Ryan has started to exhibit. Some more examples? Let's see. He can't manage in the bathroom when I've got my hands full in the kitchen, yet the minute I'm free to help him pull up his pants or wipe his bum he discourages any contact with me whatsoever. He demands the pink cup until Chloe expresses interest in the yellow cup. Then suddenly he has to have the yellow cup. If I place his green blanket on him before placing his blue blanket on him (both of which he sleeps with every night), he wants the blue blanket on him before the green blanket. Yet had I done it this way to begin with, he will have demanded it be done the other way. So in essence, whatever I do, or how I do it, dictates what he wants and how he wants it. And that is more often than not the complete opposite of what I just did. As I am slowly catching onto Ryan's patterns, I am becoming better equipped at handling him. Sometimes giving him options is the trick to maintaining a happy boy, and sometimes it doesn't matter what I do because he's already decided that he's going to be miserable regardless.

I know Ryan is learning, and sometimes I think I'm doing a good job at handling him. He sure does exhaust me though. Motherhood in general exhausts me. In fact, I've never found it more exhausting than right now. I don't know if it's the current stages of both of my children, but those two literally suck the life right out of me. I recently stumbled upon this quote and found within it great comfort (and hope). In sharing his thoughts on mothering, M. Russell Ballard said this:

"First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction. . . .

Second, don't overschedule yourselves or your children. . . . Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.

Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children."

-M. Russell Ballard (from Hilary Weeks' Bedtime and Naptime..., p.49)

Ballard's thoughts really hit home for two reasons. First, the concept of joy in motherhood coming in moments is so very true, at least for me at this point in my life. What I've realized though is that it's okay that it only comes in moments - even normal, in fact! And that it's not all supposed to be joyful and perfect. After all, it's the challenges, disappointments and heartaches we face day in and day out that help us cherish and hold tight to those "moments" of joy that come unexpectedly. And really, if life were perfect and our children were perfect, and our houses were perfect, and everything were perfect, what would be our purpose on this earth? And would all the many joyful moments really feel joyful after a while, or would they start to feel boring and less exciting? We certainly wouldn't have many opportunities to grow if there weren't some unpleasant moments to mix things up.

Second, Elder Ballard's encouragement about finding time for ourselves was a good reminder for me, and something I especially needed to hear from an Apostle. I think in the monotony of motherhood, it's easy to lose ourselves. After all, if my kids, who since I can remember, I dreamed of carrying, birthing and raising, can drive me crazy and wear me out and often make me feel everything BUT joy, then I must be failing! It's usually when I'm not making time for myself and not cultivating my gifts and talents that I start falling into this trap.

So Ryan is a little stink. We've established that. He has his sweet moments, but most of the time, at least right now, he's a stink. I get it. I am accepting it. And I will continue to work with him over and over again for as long as it takes him to understand how he should be. I will do that because I am his mother and I love him. Despite the challenges, I am grateful for him and for the lessons I am learning. I am also grateful that I am not naive to the realities of motherhood. It really isn't always fluffy, flowery and beautiful. But somehow enduring life's challenges helps me to recognize and appreciate even more those occasional moments of joy. And when they come, I cherish and remember them. And I really truly believe that that's how God intended it to be.

Random Ryan

2011-05-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

I have started about twelve blog posts in the last month and a half. Does that count for something even though I've only managed to publish a few? I have been out of town since the 1st and am supposed to be heading home next Tuesday. Hopefully once I'm settled back into my routine I can devote a little time to this poor blog. I did so well the first couple months of the year. Here's something to tide you over until I get my act together.

These were taken one lazy March afternoon. The sun was shining beautifully through the window and, well, you know me. Had to grab the camera. I love how devoted he has remained to his love of trains. I love how he smiles with his bottom teeth. I love how half the time he runs around in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. I love how he pronounces chocolate "chwauck-a-wit". I love how he turned two and a half on the 9th but still insists he's two. Love him.

An old treasure and a new one

2011-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

When Neil and I got married almost nine years ago, my sweet Grandma Martha, who celebrated her 94th birthday last December, gave me a beautiful cedar chest. I'm not sure how far back it goes or even where she got it, but she had had it for a long time and was now adamant that I have it. I was honored. Not only would it make a charming addition to our home, but I would always have something to remember her by.

Well it made its way around over those almost nine years, and even spent a couple years in my parents' basement because we didn't have room for it in our first Colorado home. Last May, after Brad and Courtney's BYU graduation and on their way to Georgia, they drove through Colorado and brought the chest to us (thank you again, guys). In September, it made its way with us to California, and last month Neil refinished it. So even though it's been ours for nearly a decade, it has just now found a place in our home.

I love this chest. It fills some space and looks great below our front room windows. I'm even thinking it could make a great newborn prop. But while it holds many uses, it represents something so much deeper than just a pretty piece of furniture. I will forever treasure it, and am so grateful for my grandma and for Neil.

Speaking of newborn props and Neil, here's something else which is a direct result of his handy work.

I spotted a doll bed just like this on a photography website back in January and showed it to Neil. "I could build that!", he said. And so he did! When it's not being sat upon by a cute little baby, it resides in Chloe's bedroom. The kids love playing "house" with it, and it will no doubt be passed down many generations.

I love seeing things in my home that hold meaning and sentimentality. This chest and doll bed are just two of the many pieces I expect to admire in the coming years as Neil continues to put his handy work to use.

FREE photography session

2011-04-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

I am offering one free photography session in Utah during the month of May! Session will take place between May 9th and 28th. If you like my work, are a Utah resident and/or will be in the Salt Lake area during that time, feel free to enter my drawing! This is all you need to do:

1) Hop over to my facebook page HERE.

2) "Like" me, if you don't already.

3) Leave me a comment expressing your interest in the drawing.

AND... a bonus...

4) Promote my page AND this drawing on YOUR facebook page, and your name will be entered into the drawing TWICE!

Drawing will take place Wednesday, April 27th at 10:00pm PST. Winner will be announced immediately following. Good luck!

He is RISEN

2011-04-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

I love this! Simple, yet profound! A perfect message for this very special day.

Happy Easter!

17 years

2011-04-17T23:44:00.000-07:00

17 years ago today I was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a tender day, and one I will remember for the rest of my life. I am still touched, all these years later, by the magnitude of friends and family who offered me support, service and love during my journey to becoming a Mormon. They have no idea the impact they continue to have on my life today.

I'm not sure where I'd be without the gospel. There is nothing in this world which could possibly replace the peace, happiness or hope it provides. The greatest blessings I enjoy today stem from the decision I made 17 years ago, and I am eternally grateful.

Popsicles and sunshine

2011-04-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

What more could a boy want?

Time Out For Women recap: Friday

2011-04-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, what an incredible weekend - last weekend, that is! I knew Time Out For Women was going to be good, but I didn't have a clue what treasures truly awaited me. It was, in a word, perfect. All of it. Perfect. The program is without question an inspired one. Just when I felt as though one presenter was my favorite, the next would get up and blow me away. I kept thinking, "How did s/he know I needed to hear that?" It was as if God was speaking directly to me.

This year's TOFW theme is "Choose to Become", and while each presentation possessed its own individual topic and charm, they all came back to the same idea of choosing to become what our Heavenly Father would have us be. Beautiful messages were shared, and I only wish my mom and mom-in-law (and all of the other amazing women in my life) could have been there with me to partake. In the midst of a healthy combination of laughter and tears (trust me, there was plenty of both), I took about 7 pages worth of notes. There was so much more I wanted to document and remember, but I'm not a very fast scribe. :) I wish I had a recording of the entire program so I could listen to it again and again. And I wish I could somehow capture that spiritual energy I felt and keep it in a bottle to open up and inhale on the days ahead when I might need a boost.

Friday evening's speakers included John Bytheway and Kris Belcher, and music was provided by Michael McLean. Here are some thoughts and quotes that stuck with me from Friday's portion of the program.

"Nothing is particularly difficult if you divide it into small jobs." -Henry Ford

Being the somewhat uptight-with-perfectionist-tendencies kinda gal that I am, I get overwhelmed pretty easily. Most of the time the problem stems from the fact that I view my tasks as a whole and not in portions. I'm impatient, wanting results NOW. And because I'm so focused on crossing the finish line, I fail to endure the journey reasonably - one step at a time. This quote by Henry Ford is so basic yet so dead on. It gave me comfort to realize that even some of the big tasks with which I am faced really aren't impossible if I just have the right perspective and game plan.

Bytheway also referenced the common saying, "An apple a day keeps the the doctor away", and in speaking of the power of a simple apple, he likened the concept to our spiritual health, presenting this question, which he challenged us to ask ourselves: "What is the one thing that if I could stop doing today would make the biggest difference?" He then asked the same question but this time replacing "stop doing" with "start doing." And finally, in keeping with the TOFW's theme, presented this question, "What could I become if I did this each day?" What a hopeful message this conveys, and what countless possibilities await us all if we ask ourselves these questions and then act on them.

John Bytheway has been around for a long time. I've heard a talk or two of his in the past and read bits and pieces of his various books. One of them, which I have, is entitled, 'How to Be Totally Miserable'. The guy is just plain funny, and while I've always known this, I didn't really appreciate his humor, knowledge or spirit until I sat in the same auditorium as he. He is truly inspiring.

Kris Belcher was pretty dang awesome too. She was also hilarious, and I think I laughed during more of her talk than anyone else's. She is legally blind as a result of a recent battle with cancer, and has experienced much in her life. Yet she herself said, "It's okay to laugh, even when it's serious, heartbreaking and horrible." The topic of Kris' talk was 'Living Vertically'. She said, "The winds that are blowing, if we allow them to, will blow us to the Savior." In other words, our trials and tribulations, though excruciating at times, will take us to our sanctuary if we allow them. The title of one of her books, 'Hard Times and Holy Places' really sums up the theme of her message. And while I'm sure I experienced this long before last summer, it was during Neil's time away that I for the first time recognized this happening in my life. It was awful having him gone, and while thousands of women do it every day and I know my situation didn't even hold a candle to theirs, I still struggled. I also found, however, that it was in those moments of loneliness, uneasiness and confusion that I fell to my knees - mostly because I didn't know what else to do. And it was through falling to my knees that I found my "holy places", with God. It really is a beautiful concept.

Here are a few other thoughts Kris shared:

"Turn your frustrations heavenward, into prayers. Focus your feelings upward." She spoke of Nephi, who encouraged us, before doing anything, to pray and promised that God would consecrate our efforts for our benefit.

And finally, she said this:

"Try living vertically. See if your rough edges are not smoothed out." I especially loved this because I, as most women probably do, feel I have many rough edges. Too many to name, in fact. But to know He has the power to smooth those rough edges, to make our weaknesses our strengths, is a very encouraging and real truth.

Micheal McLean provided music between Bytheway's and Belcher's messages, and while it took some time, by the end of the evening he had grown on me. It wasn't so much his music, style or personality, but the spirit he carried that really got me. I wish I'd jotted down more of what he said, but his overall message was that of encouragement and hope, reminding us how truly exquisite we are in the sight of God. He reminded us that God knows us each so well, and takes more interest in our day to day things, thoughts, feelings, challenges, experiences, etc. than we can even imagine. He played a song about adoption entitled, 'From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours'. Even though I have not had a personal experience with adoption I have been touched by others' stories, including a good friend of mine who has adopted two boys. And, well, I think as a mother it's impossible to not be moved by the lyrics of this inspired piece. I'm sure it's more fitting for a woman to sing, but I found this on YouTube, and since this is how the song was first presented to me, I'd like to share it with you.

I left Friday's program already feeling edified and renewed. And I could hardly wait to see what Saturday had in store for me. More on that soon...

How quickly time passes...

2011-04-14T23:53:00.000-07:00

Each day I am reminded of how quickly time passes. Today I was reminded, not once, but twice.

This evening I attended Kindergarten Orientation. Enough said, right? As I sat in the very classroom where Chloe may spend her first year as an elementary school student, it hit me the many changes that were coming, and that I'm about to see a lot less of Chloe. This naturally presented the question, "Have I made the best of my time with her?" Well, only I know the answer to that, and while I've had plenty of shortcomings, I'd like to think the good has outweighed the bad.

A little later this evening, just after we got Ryan down for the night, we remaining three plopped on the couch together for our nightly reading. Now before I go on, let me rewind back about three weeks when I was in the kitchen one afternoon and Chloe quietly approached me. Upon doing so, she held up a book which she'd grabbed from the bookshelf in the play area upstairs and simply asked, "Mom, can we read this?"

As random as it was that my five-year-old was requesting a book with no pictures which was broken down into chapters and well exceeded 150 pages, I wasn't too surprised, nor was I about to say no. And so, that very night, Neil, Chloe and I sat together on the couch and read chapter 1 aloud. The next night, chapter 2. And over the next two and a half weeks, well, life happened and we missed some nights, but the important thing is that we kept at it. Some nights we'd even whiz through a chapter without a single pause, almost forgetting that we were reading to a small child who probably didn't understand everything, only to hear, in her own words a recap of that chapter. It was pretty amazing, the whole thing.

Tonight we finished our book.

How quickly time passes. One minute I'm holding my precious, tiny newborn baby, and the next I'm enrolling her in kindergarten and reading with her one of C.S. Lewis' greatest classics.

Going to time out, literally

2011-04-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

In exactly 2 hours I will be headed to Fresno for 24 hours of spiritual bliss. My sweet friends, Tina and Brittany invited me to go with them to Time Out For Women, a program our church offers across the country as well as New Zealand and Australia throughout each year. Click on the link above to read all about it.

I am grateful Neil is supportive of me leaving him and the kids for a day and a half to go enjoy some "me" time. And at this very moment I am especially grateful to my friend Shelly, who is taking my kids for the afternoon on very little notice thanks to Neil getting called to a case in Roseville last minute. Don't these things always happen? I am really looking forward to this chance to be spiritually fed, recharge my batteries and be reminded of my divinity, worth and purpose.